Naija Blues

i've got the kraft
macaroni & cheese blues
i've got the bluessss...

I don't know what's happening to me today. I just woke up sooooo depressed. I think i've been so tired mentally and bored for a little while now. My job is probably the biggest contributor to this. It's gone from something that was so fantastic, enjoyable, and challening. In fact last year I had to keep reminding myself that I'm so lucky to have a job doing exactly what I want to do. But since then, everything has just soured. In the name of job expansion i guess, another portfolio has been added to mine, and i'm just not with it. HOWEVER, it's taken soo much of my time. I want to have a good outlook like ok, i'll do this one extremely well, to the absolute best of my abilities, and just use this opportunity to show my versatility but damn.........coupled with the after effects of the scandal, and the office place just not being the same.

I think I just want to go home. I'm tired of Nigeria. I miss the things that have been "regular" to me for soo long. I was joking with my friend the other day that I think the day my plane lands in America, I will be so goddamn emotional. Man, it's been a long while since i've been out, and a long way for me. I remember the day I left home. No one was even home. Just me and my brother and we weren't even talking at that time. I just got up, showered, finished packing, called a cab. I remember we had just had a snowstorm and there was ice everywhere. I remember calling Tmobile from the taxi and they ticking me off :) Yes, I definitely need to go visit and SOON or i'mma have to cut somebody. I don't know how i'll do it though since getting anything at work is like getting to see Babangida while he's visiting Obasanjo in Aso Rock. I always say, if there's anything that can go wrong, any roadblocks that can pop up, the people at my job WILL find it and just make your life a living hell. A friend of mine recently needed a letter that stated that she did indeed work there and you wouldn't believe the hassle. Something that should be as simple as:
SHE: i need a letter stating I work here please
THEM: oh, (since that's one of my freaking templates) sure, come pick it up next week.
SHE: thanks!

But noooooo........ this is how it goes instead
SHE: Please, please, please, please, i need a letter stating I work here...please
THEM: go and write me a formal letter asking me
SHE: ok
SHE: ok, here's the letter
THEM: you need to get it signed by your boss
SHE: ok
(walks back about a block to her office to get's it signed)
SHE: here it is!
THEM: (looks disgustingly at the letter)you need to get it signed by HR
SHE: uhm...ok
(walks to HR to get it signed)
HR: why do u need this
SHE: i need to get a visa
HR: why
SHE: i want to travel
HR: put the dates and get your boss to sign it (knowing that would be impossible cuz she's not allowed to go to vacation yet)
SHE: uhm, i'm going on a weekend so i don't see why my boss as to approve the dates
HR: you're going to London for the weekend (looking disgustingly)
SHE: yes
HR: she still needs to sign the date
SHE: ok
(goes to reprint the letter, sign it by her boss, take to HR to sign, take to Corporate Affairs to sign)
THEM: ok, come and get it in 4 working days
SHE: but it's just right there, you just need to sign it and i'll be on my way.
THEM: Sorry, the policy is 4 working days
SHE: (?!@?!!!?@@!!) NARF OFF!!!

Lol. except for the narf off, that's the way it goes. for a simple letter. that states you work for the company...........BLAH! Maybe I should just lie and say I was abducted for two weeks! they'd believe that ish for SURE!

Anyway back to my depression. It's even bordering on the existential a la Lisa in Saved By The Bell (what is art? is art art? are we art?) Lol. Hey! Maybe it's just a quarter life crisis, i've heard of this happening but maybe this is it? One thing I find myself thinking about (or trying not to think about) is death? how strange is death and this life? you're born and then you die. we all don't even know what happens when you die (Christians believe if you're good you go to heaven if not then it's hell but how does all that work out? do you really see Peter at the door? do you fly there from your body or do you just appear, one sec u watching tv, next thing you're like wha? peter?). it's like you just cease to exist, like a cockroach that you kill in your house and throw in the incinerator (aka bonfire). A staff member just died this weekend. I liked her. I can't believe she died. And then the VTech people. They wake up, go to French class, and never come out again. My dad who died of cancer which is the LAST THING anyone thought would kill the guy. He liked his beer, i think smoked when he was younger (i never saw him smoke) and that's about it. He was fine one minute and dead the next. Toni Payne's I assume little cousin or nephew of some sort apparently died. And then thinking of that I remember my two cousins that died last year, they were 8 and 10. What's the point? How do you make your life meaningful in this race to the grave?

Ah....i don't mean to depress y'all too I swear!!! Everything is just seeming so random to me right now. Not just death but everything. Random. I told you, existential right? (man, that class fucked me up oh, i won't lie!)

I know what i'm gonna do. I'm gonna do something really crazy and out of this world that the drama of it all will take my mind off all these thoughts! (don't worry y'all nothing morbid in anyway oh!) lol. it'll probably involve a yes, i'm that girl that read seventeen mag until i was like 21!

Anyway, toodles!

Magical Elections

I love politics. I love every aspect of it. To me it’s one of the most beautiful things about modern civilization. It is the ultimate test of democracy really. I’m not so much a staunch believer in democracy in terms of philosophy, but I do know that it is one that has worked in various fashions for the biggest economies and most successful nations in the history of man.

Yet, watching Nigeria’s elections circus (indeed the best descriptive word), leaves me completely disheartened, confused, and now complete apathy is beginning to set in. I’m sitting right now in front of the television watching the news coverage and I’m finding it hard to believe that this sort of…..magic, can happen so openly, and to feel so disconnected, even as a citizen, as the everyday person, is just sad.

In Abia state, apparently INEC did not get ballot papers in on time, SOOO voting did not start until about 5:30pm………..yes, read that again, 5:30pm!!! And even then it was in the dark, but that is a secondary problem I suppose. I’ve just watched presidential candidate Orji Kalu who just casted his vote at 7pm give such an emotional comment to the press. I don’t care too much for him, but it is his absolute right to contest for the presidential election if he can and be given a fair chance. But after spending all the time, money, and effort to now come to the ballot box and vote in the dark at 7pm!!! What feeling of disappointment that must have been. This is in the South East which will no doubt have most of his constituencies. How can ANYONE observing this think that this man has had a fair go at it? What kind of message does that send? What kind of gross incompetence and embarrassment is this for INEC? What is this monster we’re all dealing with?

In Lagos West and some other senatorial districts, elections for the Senate were cancelled completely to be held another day. What kind of????? How can anyone in their right mind think this is ok? Or free and fair?? Or what? What is this monster really?

Lately when people talk about the elections, I just find it cute. All the spitting that goes back and forth, it’s glazing over the real, REAL issue we all know, which is that elections in Nigeria are very very far from being the kind that celebrates democracy, far from being free, far from being fair. That’s the absolute truth. We are all afraid to say exactly that, because when you look back, those times (in the past) were SOOO rough, I understand that, but what is this we have? Nothing. Obasanjo picks who’s gonna be the next president and nothing but an American invasion will stop that act from coming true. We all know that. The curtain draws, the actors play the part, the “hero” wins, the puppet master is happy. This circus. The Nigerian elections. Circus 2007.

What monster are we all dealing with indeed?

Donde Estan Los Ladrones

Alrighty people, i have tons of pics about 100, but i'm finding it hard to resize them and then upload them because of the speed of my internet connection soo.....sorry but these like two pics will have to do :( !!!

In other robbed at gunpoint last week wednesday on what I think was falomo bridge. Well, never had a gun pointed at my cranium so it was an experience. I was quite shaken for the day (incident was at 8pm) and then the trauma set in so I started to sleep with a golf club by my bedside (cuz my bag had my pay slip in it with my address et al.) must go on right?....right???

Man, i need a vacation...

TMinx is Back...YAY!!!!

1. Yourself: Beautiful outside, but more beautiful inside
2. Your partner: Up to God
3. Your hair: Dark Brown
4. Your mother: Blessed
5. Your father: Hella Funny
6. Your favourite item: My camera
7. Your dream last night: Can't remember
8. Your favourite drink: Mojito (of course it had to be alcoholic right?
9. Your dream car: Mini Convertible (yea, i'm weird)
10. The room you are in: Work (aargh!)
11. Your ex: Beautiful
12. Your fear: Death and Failure
13. What you want to be in 10 years: Wildly Successful
14. Who you hung out with last night: Jamila!
15. What you're not: Introvert
16. Muffins: Carrot
17: One of your wish list items: Plane ticket to Paris
18: Time: 430pm!
19. The last thing you did: Called Bunmi
20. What you are wearing: work clothes, but still sexy and fly fa sure!
21. Your favourite weather: Rainy
22. Your favourite book: Power of a Praying Woman, Leap of Faith
23. The last thing you ate: Rice, moinmoin, and snail stew
24. Your life: is everywhere God wants it to be
25. Your mood: Playful, Happy
26. Your best friend: many good girlfriends i wouldn't trade for the world!
27. What you're thinking about right now: Public Holiday Thurs & Fri, YAY!!!
28. Your car: right.....
29. What you are doing at the moment: Blogging, DUH!
30. Your summer: Work, some traveling
31. Your relationship status: Single (i need hookups y'all!)
32. What is on your TV: DStv
33. What is the weather like: VERY Hot
34. When was the last time you laughed: if you know me you know i laugh a lot! can't help it, i'm a happy person!!!

I'm so glad TMinx is back!!! We can go back to more blogville gists, etc....In honor of her, i stole this meme from her site.

Obudu was breathtakingly beautiful, I'll post pics tomorrow or by Monday sha!!! (didm't u hear, public holiday tomorrow and friday...shu...)

What Shall I Blog About?!?!

I'm having a wonderful day today. I have terrible sinuses cuz of the dust in my house that I had to clean last friday. It's amazing that so much dust can accumulate in one week! But even the sinuses ain't getting me down today, no way Jose (yes, i'm so corny). Maybe it has to do with my going to Calabar, Obudu Cattle ranch to be specific, this Easter weekend. I've heard sooo much about how beautiful it is. Here are some pics I googled:

Yea...its nice ain't it? And the weekend is all planned out with a group of people I'm just too excited to go. But apart from that just generally happy right now, enjoying life, etc. I wanted to blog since last week but just didn't have the time to get around to it. Even now, i'm sneaking in time to do this! So what i've decided to do is write a small blurb/compilation of all the things I wanted to blog about since last week and their titles I had in my head (yeah, i'm strange like that). So here we go.

Adventures of Frick and Frack
I have at the company I work at, two people I'd like to call Frick and Frack (i have to be somewhat vague here since I think they've somehow discovered the blogging world recently. You see Frick actually has some sort of job security, but i'm not sure he/she (hence on known as hesh) knows that, so hesh is very bitter about "thinking hesh doesn't". Frack on the other hand, doesn't have a prayer (IMHO) and hesh has every right to be bitter I guess, but misery does love company so hesh has dragged Frick into his/her misery, and now, I'm not so sure Frick even has job security anymore. Anyway, they are bugging HELL outta me. Always looking you down, gossiping about EVERYTHING, backbiting, thinking that the world OWES them everything. Abeg jo! Maybe all the energy you pour into "analyzing" everyone else work, if all that energy was poured into................your own work (surprise!!!) then you'd be faring much better. that off my chest!

Friend or Foe?
Ok, here's the gist as sad as it may be o! I met a boy recently. We went out a few times, and just as I was starting to really get excited about it, dude calls me and has a "talk" with me. Here it is:
FF: Lola we need to talk about something cuz i'm sensing that you may be a bit confused about some things us, what are we, etc...
ME: uhm.....yes
FF: Ok, i thought so. well, i really like you, love hanging out with you and think you're a great gal but i'm just not into committed relationships right now.
ME: uhm....ok...but i'm not into "any other kind of relationship" right now either, especially not with you.
FF: Well, I'd love if we could still be friends...
ME: I don't think so. I'm not your friend, let's not confuse that either.

Anyway, that was my stance and i felt quite strongly about that. I mean i don't need more friends at all, AND i'm not going to be the "friend" that's secretly pining for the guy and dying inside e'rytime she sees him with some other jump off, i've been there, done that, got the therapy bill. But i'm weak really, and apparently we're friends now.......we'll see how that lasts, i'm VERY skeptical. I mean, I've effectively gotten him outta my system I think, but do I need that temptation at every turn.....?!?! Can a woman and a man, who have had chemistry if nothing else before, can they truly be friends?!?! Dude, if you're reading this (highly unlikely but...) there's no conspiracy theory behind it abeg....keep it moving jo.

Wedding Fever
Soooooooooooooo....I have a friend who in delirium (brought on by the combination of codeine and some heavy malaria medication) dreamt of her wedding. She has been "happy" ever since. But that's not the the crazy part. She is now planning the said wedding. YES. planning it, hall, dress, et al. EVERYTHING but the man, which, me crazy but I think that's what should come first. To her credit, she has the man thing in the horizon but hmm...sha. For me i'd think I'd do it in steps: man, boyfriend, ring, fiance, engagement ceremony.........and before you know it.....WEDDING!!!! lol. I don't know, i'm just not too too too crazy about thinking about MY own wedding. Don't get me wrong, I love watching all those wedding channels, and love looking at the pics and all that, but somehow i don't really connect it to me! It's weird. Somehow i still don't see weddings as a passage right that MUST happen, to me it's still lodged in that fairytale part of my brain along with my cinderella stories. But anyway back to the story, this babe is now convinced, absolutely convinced that it was all a spiritual episode and the reality is coming REALLY soon so hey........i guess it'll save everyone time since she's already prepared. Maybe I should tell her to hurry up and book the hall now! LOL.

Anyway people, enjoy the Easter break!!!