My Fish Bowl

Welcome Back

2009-11-02T20:39:00.002+03:00

Ahhh....I'm working on some website stuff and decided to come test it on the old blog and here I am again! I started reading and just realized, well I miss THIS blog :(

So what's been gwaning peeps? Howz everyone been? In blog world and out?

I've just been hanging around jare. I came back from Switzerland, took my GMAT, did alright but not as good as I would have liked. The thing just tire me jare. Plus I've been focusing on my business, family, and life generally. Oh I've got great and fabulous news for anyone who'd like to hear????

Ok, ok, hold your horses>>>

I'M GETTING MARRIED!

yes oh, yours truly is getting married to the love of her life. my boyfriend of less than a year (yikes!) proposed to me and I agreed to his proposal, lol. We are going to be married next year and so of course the flurry of planning that wedding is also upon me. Crazy that.

I don't know how I should describe being engaged. I feel like I'm watching another person's story unfold right before my eyes but everything is so familiar. Sometimes I can't believe it and pinch myself, as in, o'girl, na u oooo. Lol. Like sometimes I stare at my boyfriend and it's like i'm staring at my very own fairytale, and y'all thought fairytale's don't come true lol. We'll see sha, I hope to blog about it. But y'all know how I am with this blog now....

What else is going on?

Hmm, maybe I should wait till tomorrow when I'm less busy to continue all the gists. I promise I will be back. I miss this ol' fish bowl ;o)

love, peace, and hairgrease y'all!

20 Kids, 20 Years

2009-06-08T03:13:00.002+03:00

There's a saying that "20 kids cannot play for 20 years". I love this statement/proverb so much. The first time I heard it was in Yoruba from my mom so I don't really know if it's actually a Yoruba proverb translated or vice versa. Still, it's so apt.

I always say to anybody that will listen, my best friends today are those friends that I knew while in college. For some reason, they're looking to buck the 20 kids/20 years proven proverb. These guys are all one in a million. Over the years we've laughed, we've cried, we've fought, we've loved, we've pretty much been with and supported each other true a myriad of emotions. These guys are the one that increasingly, I find myself running back to whenever I want to have a REAL conversation. I can't say how much I appreciate their love and kindness. The older I get the more I realize that real true friends, who want the best for you always, who know you inside and out and accept you and love you for who you are, are really, really rare gems. One of my closest friends of this bunch I havent even seen in years, but still there's nothing like that one hour conversation where you just run through the entire list of happenings and before you even say one thing or the other, they just get where you're coming from. Gosh, I'm so blessed to have these people in my life.

Now back to that proverb up there. You're probably wondering ok, so what's the connection then. Well I think the conneciton for me is that people move in and out of your life very quickly. Most don't want to bother to see you, I mean really see you. If you have 20 kids on a playground it is very very unlikely that those children as they grow older and "wiser" will learn to appreciate and love each other more. Rather it's the opposite. As they know each other more, their human flaws come out with claws. Life throws us all together in the wash and by the time we get our bearings we're all a little washed out.

Either way, I thank God immensely for those friends I made in college who years later are still sticking by me, caring about me, and renewing my faith in friendships. I'm lucky to have them.

YAY!!!

2009-05-30T23:51:00.003+03:00

Hello people! or person as the case may be!

So I finally figured out how to change the template.....YAHOOOOOOO! you guys don't know how long i've been trying to change the bloody thing. sheesh. At times, I'm just so....chuffed about me doing you know, technically, computerish things. Like i'm so not there. So now that i've finally figured out this thing, soo happy with myself!

One of the reasons I decided to take another crack at changing the template is that I'm gonna start another blog!..........ooooh I can hear you exhaling that i don't even update this one, how can I attempt another one??? Well the other blog is going to be a bit different to this one. I was inspired by a fellow blogger who has since quit blogging but essentially every other blogger out there writing about their relationships and their lives. I've always wanted to blog about my relationships but they (the exes lol) have always somehow found their way here so I just never did in case someone randomly came to this blog and then start beefing me. I can't have that. Soooo i've thought about starting a new one since then. Now I will. I won't share the address or link, you'll just have to find me and guess which one out of the million ones out there is Lola!!! :o) I'm actually soo excited about the new blog!

Don't worry, I'll still be posting as regularly as I can on this one so i'm not giving up on it yet!

***************
Still en vacance/study break and I'm afraid i'm not very productive yet. I mean I've started studying and all but it's like i know nothing all over again!! This is gonna be so hard. Today I wanted to study but a friend dragged me out and then by the time we came back I had just eaten and had the --itis so then just decided to veg out and watch Brothers & Sisters (which is so fab by the way!). So I pray tomorrow I can get back to studying again :o( :o(

Till then....Ciao bebes!

Staying Faithful

2009-05-25T19:56:00.003+03:00

To my blog that is! So many times during the day for weeks now I experience somehting or something comes across my mind and I just know i have to blg about it. But it seems, i'm afraid, that that's where it all ends. I think it, and in my head I've put it away and it just never quite seems to come to fruition. Some days it's just that I'm trying to write about something i've not written about before, or just a new experience or something. No one wants to hear complain complain complain.

You see, for those who have been following my blog from time immemorial, you'll have been following the journey of coming to Nigeria, working at a multinational that hadn't a clue how to properly repatriate a Nigerian, then to another organization that quite admittedly I didn't blog to much about (if at all) and then to where I am right now: an entrepreneur. Well, maybe I'm entering a new phase of it all yet again, so maybe its the right time to pick up blogging again. Okay, drumrollllllllllllll:

The truth is I'm tired of Nigeria.

Well let me explain. No i'm not tired of NEPA (what exactly is a PHCN) or traffic or LASTMA (per se) I'm just tired of the scenery and quite frankly the people. We have soooo much attitude ko? sheesh! You ask a simple question and because you have a slight accent (that in reality doesn't even really belong anywhere), what you get is so much attitude and rudeness. A lot of people go out of their way to just pull, tear, you down. But this post is not a bitchy post lol.

So I've decided to take a break.

I'm leaving the country for a little bit and heading to Switzerland for a wee bit. Why I hear you say??? Well, the opportunity came up and I just grabbed it with both hands (before the person offering the pad could change their minds quite frankly!). I'm so excited to be out of the country for a little while. I'm thinking maybe the time away would give me a freshened perspective of our dear beloved country. I miss bits and pieces already like facebooking and reading about people partying without me! That sucks lol. But mostly it's good. I walked home yesterday from the tube and I just felt really quite free and "loadless". It was nice not to be concerned (too much) about armed or otherwise dangerous thieves and to walk amidst the trees and all that and see people going about their business not giving a flying F what you're doing or wearing or kissing. lol. I wasn't kissing ooooo (not yesterday anyway) lol. I've also been taking just long leisurely walks through parks and eating "americana" food, lol. cheeses, smoked salmon, fresh tortellini's, greek food. YUM. and not actually breaking the bank on all these things. So fun times!

Now let's not get ahead of ourselves oooo. I'm still coming home to Naij. So much to do there and I have my business, and my friends and family.

*******
Okayyyy moving along....did anyone catch any of the Low wedding shinding??? So nice and classy! Everything was done quite nicely and is possibly the best wedding I've seen in Naij. Usually Naija weddings are a NIGHTMARE for me (that's why i almost NEVER go to any). You have bride and groom sitting up on a stage somewhere looking just lost tired and like they've woken up in twilight zone with parents and all other strange "family" buzzing about in like a cacophony of colours and textures. MAD. who wants to do all that stuff???? sheesh. In my dreams I pray so fervently for like a nice quite ceremony at a small chapel with like maybe 10-20 peeps in attendance and then after like a fun dinner party in a garden like atmosphere where alcohol and laughter flows. But being Nigerian...........hmm....I better keep praying lol. What's with Nigerian parents anyway................but I digress sha. Lola looked lovely and relaxed and everyone looked like they were enjoying it so kudos to her for keeping it all together and beautiful!!!

************

Jamming WAZOBIA

2009-03-03T16:05:00.002+03:00

Ok, so I read the last post I just posted and also scrolled down and noticed all I've been talking about recently (relatively now, free me!) is entrepreneurship and depression....all important but boring topics lol! sorry, i can't help it. But to compensate, I was reading OluwaDee's blog and something jumped out at me: WAZOBIA!!!

Boy in the last few weeks i've been so crazy about the station ooo. To me it's the best station (along with Top Radio 90.9 of course hehehe...) around these parts. There's no other place to get the news for sure. I listen to Yaw in the morning then Matse in the afternoon and I can just stay engaged for hours and hours and hours. These guys are really good. For those that don't know what i'm talking about, WAZOBIA is essentially a radio station that broadcasts in pidgeon english. It's for the common man on the streets but the thing is I find the programming so relevant to Lagos life. The guys there are always discussing issues that matter, with none of the phoneee high-falluting crap you hear from the other stations. Thing is, even though YOU may not be listening to it, all your drivers, cooks, mayguards,etc are listening...and to me, that makes it the secret Advertising weapon for anyone who cares to reach the masses (and you should care after all). I'm confused to how come a large portion of manufacturers and co don't advertise on it.....we have such a chip on our shoulders in this country sha...

WAZOBIA Fm...95.1 Take a listen! (even if the managers are racist Lebanese folks who have no regard for Nigerians in totality outside of the money they collect from our pockets but i'll digress here....)

So You Want To Be An Entrepreneur

2009-03-03T15:48:00.002+03:00

So You Want to be an Entrepreneur? (from Guy Kawasaki's speech)

10. Embrace the unknown.
09. Don't ask people to do something that you wouldn't do.

08. Focus on implementation.

07. Don't be paranoid.

06. Pursue entrepreneurship for the right reasons.

...Happiness is temporary and fleeting. It should not be the goal of entrepreneurship.

Joy is the right goal. Joy, by contrast, is unpredictable. It comes from pursuing interests and passions that do not "obviously" result in happiness. It comes from building a great team, from family, from friends and inexpensive if not free things.

05. Continue to learn.

04. Be brief.

03. Obey the absolutes.

02. Play to win.
Play to win and don't let the bozos convince you to do anything less. Indeed, the more bozos tell you that you can't succeed, the more you may be on to something.

Playing to win is one of the finest things you can do. It enables you to fulfill your potential. It enables you to improve the world and, conveniently, develop high expectations for everyone else too.

And what if you lose? Just make sure you lose while trying something grand .

01. Enjoy your family, friends, and colleagues before they are gone.

Forgive me guys, sometimes it seems that I just blog random things that don't make sense. Permit me to explain. At times, there are phases that I'm going throught that I think oh, it'd be wonderful for someone going through what i'm going through to just google it and land here! Some of you may remember my NYSC post, my PMDD post, and now here is my Entrepreneurship post.

June last year (almost a year ago!!!) I embarked on an entrepreneurship journey (Marketing Consultant in Nigeria - sorry that again was for google, lol, ok, i'll quit now!) It's been such a crazy and unbelievable journey. Everytime someone asks me how it is, I always say a few things:

1. It's more difficult and takes longer than you thought it was going to be when you first get in.

2. It challenges you greatly. Every human flaw you have will be tested and highlighted. You just have to deal with it.

3. There are no words to describe the feeling you get when you make your first buck. None. A fabulous sense of achievement that is so addictive, you plow through the next crazy difficult challenge just to get that high again.

So what is real and practical about starting a business on your own??? You have to have passio and you must be dedicated. Keep going even after the steam is all out. Your dream IS ACHEIVABLE!

Ciao bebes :o)

So It Is.....

2009-02-19T17:39:00.002+03:00

Hey Y'all!!!!

so happy new year, barka de sallah, or whatever else is applicable i guess. I haven't been on here in a bit but a lot has been going on.

So...

I got a boyfie yay!

I got a business yay!

I'm homeless....lol!

it's just been hectic and when i really think about it, it's quite a lesson that i'm still standing somewhat.

oh boy. life is a funny thing. I feel like i've done so much growing up in the last couple of months that it's amazing really. Every now and then I try to take a step back and just enjoy the view while i'm going through it.

On Relationship
Relationships are hard my people. I never thought about it before but now that i'm in it, i can't believe how hard it is. Now i have a different appreciation for people in love and trying to keep the love alive, healthy, and well. It's all hard work really. In the past, I've just dated people who had very divided interests, to me i found that easy to manage, at least i was used to it. Now it's slightly different. I have an angel of a man though and I'm immensely greatful that if i have to go through this growing up phase then there's no one else i'd like to have as a partner through it all.

On Business
I read something recently that said being an entrepreneur is "a lot harder and takes longer than you think when you first started". And that is the golden truth of entrepreneurship. And to do it in Lagos!!!! wow. It assaults all your senses and engages the core of who you are as an individual. If you have any flaws (and we all do) be prepared to have them highlighted at full force. Running BRENTT has been the most fulfilling, the most challenging thing i've ever done in my life. It's a constant commitment. Sometimes i think, wouldn't it just be easier to go to work at 9am and come back at 6pm, and call it a day??? not worry about anything else but that your bill better get paid by the end of the month. However, my business is the love of my heart. I love the business with every fiber of my being and I'm sooo dedicated to it. Everytime i think about other options, I feel like it'll be like turning my back on my favorite child. I LOVE BRENTT. I dream every second of the day of how my first offices would look like, how the staff would look like, i imagine how it would be to walk in on my first day and see BRENTT behind the receptionist desk. I dream of McKinsey coming to me and saying how much? Lord help me. Lord strengthen me.

Ok that's it for now. Until next time....

take care of yourselves...and each other!

TIS OF THEE.....

2008-11-06T17:35:00.001+03:00

So much I want to say. I can't. Fear dey catch me (they have won). God Bless Nigeria oh!

CHANGE HAS COME!

2008-11-05T21:15:00.004+03:00

On June 12, 2008, I wrote this post here: Land That I Love.... The irony of the day I wrote this post is not lost to me now (though I didn't think of it then). And why did I write it? It was an opportunity to share with others what America means to me. To share the good parts of America, the hope, the courage, the determination, the goodness, the HEART of the American people, of America. The world's confidence in the country was at an all time low and falling, and it seemed to everyone that the end of it all was finally here. America had finally been broken, the glory was gone. I have NEVER felt this way for good reason and I wanted to share indeed, what was true to me. America is not a superpower because it has money, but because it is determined, because it works hard, because it believes in a better tomorrow, because it has faith in its peoples, because it was founded by people who left their own homes, on the strength of their beliefs. And it is in all that, that no matter whether tomorrow says China, or India, or South Africa, the country will always STAND.

Excuse me if I go on today. If i tend towards the hyperbolic today. Yesterday, i witnessed something great. ONE man, changed the world.

For me it means many things. In my past life I've lived as an African American. I've felt the struggles of our heroes, MLK, Medger Evers, Rosa Parks, Emmett Till. I've been outraged at Amadou Diallo, at Sean Bell just two years ago. I've listened to Billy Holiday's "Strange Fruit", taken exams on the outrage when Teddy Roosevelt invited Booker T. Washington to dine at the White House. I've read on Jim Crow laws, and the law that one american black man was worth just 3/5ths of a white one. What a full circle. I've known civil right fighters locked up and hosed down. Four little black girls killed in Alabama for being black. I read of Sally Hemmings who had children for George Washington, whose children where ignored and denied. 221 YEARS of hope. 221 years of an unbroken spirit. The Lord showed it to Martin Luther King. He dreamt of it. He dreamt and the thousands present at that rally wept at the beauty of that dream. That one day, black boys and black girls would hold hands with their white counterparts, and carry a nation as brothers. 221 years that has been impossible.

I saw it last night.

And what of Barack Obama. A stubborn man. A determined man. A courageous man. Who dared to think the impossible, possible. His message means so much to the world. We are one people, and we too can change the world. No matter who you are, what your circumstances are, it is in you, it is in all of us, to dream, to change our world. What a message.

I think of an African man who left his home like many of our parents, to be denigrated, and from the ashes of all the struggles and sacrifice, his son rises to lead the United States of America. It is even too much to think what this means for even our children.

I think of this new generation. My generation whose time has arrived. This is the leader my generation has chosen. In this circle of life, my generation has said enough to the old and stood up to make their voice ring out throughout the world. It is a new morning really. This morning the baton was passed to this new generation. I too feel empowered and ready to take the stage.

Lastly, and most passionately I think of Nigeria. Change is coming my people. Change is coming. I think of when I moved in 2006. I myself wasn't too clear on why, what, and how but once I started living, I could no longer be confused. Forget every other reason, but when repats move back, they bring back everything good they've learned from elsewhere. They demand for customer service, they demand for respect, they demand modernity, they challenge the status quo, they demand for change. That's the important reason to go back to Nigeria. I think of the strides since then, now in 2008. And even more still, people are coming back home. The whole US election campaign of the president-elect has been based on change. In Nigeria we are so used to people telling us we can't. People believe in so many can'ts. But we can. Truly we can. Even in little strides. In basic challenges, the hope is lighted anew. Are we the ones we've been waiting for? Can we, can all of us effect the change we've been waiting for?

I've heard this morning, that we celebrate the re-birth of idealism, waking up to new possibilities. Change is gonna come.

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)

2008-09-07T13:23:00.002+03:00

why am i blogging about this??? cause I can dammit!!!! lol...also cause it maybe can help someone out there.

I've always just said to people, "oh, i get emotional when on my period" or "i'm highly hormonal i think, depending on my cycle". I've noticed "hyper-emotionality" for some time now and really i just thought, well it's just one of those things. The first time I noticed this was back in college. My roommate, her boyfriend, and I were watching the movie Chocolat and throughout to the end of the movie, I was just crying and crying. My roommate was like.....oooookay.....! Even to myself I was wondering why it moved me soo much and the only answer that came to me was that I was on my period so maybe it's the hormones and that was that.

But lately it has gotten worser and worser still. I just noticed that I get seriously depressed, I recoil into myself, i feel overwhelmed and interrupted sleeping patters. I started to worry because it just seemed to envelope me somehow. The last time I wrote about a "dark cloud" was during this period. You just feel hopeless and helpless and continue to sink deeper and deeper still. Last month I realized it was intense and even had suicidal thoughts and that's when it really began to scare me. I could tell it was hormones wrecking a havoc on my mind but you just can't seem to get out of it. It starts maybe a week before your period is supposed to start, but once it does, it just goes away and dissolves. I've been going through this cycle, and I just started to worry myself. What is this thing? It was starting to feel serious and I had to frantically call some friends of mine to talk to them about how I was feeling before sink deeper and deeper.

As I'm writing this, I think I'm writing from just 1hour of sleep overnight. My mind was just rushing here and there and I couldn't get it to just slow down so I could sleep. Yesterday night I just felt so down and unlike myself and then this morning those thoughts came again and I thought....no, this isn't normal. So I get up and google and this is what I've found:

Twenty to fifty percent of women between the ages of 30 to 40 with regular
menstrual cycles experience premenstrual syndrome (PMS) as a regular
physiological occurrence every month. In more severe cases, affecting three to
five percent of menstruating women, this syndrome is labeled as premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) . Patients
with severe PMDD are at risk for developing postpartum depression. Furthermore, women
successfully treated with antidepressants often show
breakthrough symptoms of depression in the premenstrual phase
of their menstrual cycle. All that is needed is a small increase in the dosage
of the antidepressant premenstrually.
PMDD Symptoms
Women with PMDD complain of irritability, anger, tension, marked depressed mood, and mood lability (crying spells for no reason, verbal outbursts, or tantrums ) to such a severity that quality of life is seriously compromised. In addition to these symptoms, some women complain of lethargy, sleep disturbance, limited concentration and a host of physical symptoms such as breast tenderness,
headaches, joint and muscle pain, bloating and weight gain.
The primary symptoms that distinguish premenstrual dysphoric disorder from other mood disorders (i.e., major depression) or menstrual conditions is the
onset and duration of PMDD symptoms -- with symptoms appearing during the week or so before and disappearing within a few days after the onset of menses -- and the level by which these symptoms disrupt daily living tasks. (This diminished
level of functioning is generally in great contrast with the same woman's
interactions and abilities at other times during the month.)
The symptoms of PMDD may resemble other conditions or medical problems, such as a thyroid condition, depression, or an anxiety disorder. Consult a physician for
diagnosis.

Over the course of a year, during most menstrual cycles, five or more of the following symptoms must be present:
1. depressed mood
2. anger or irritability
3. difficulty in concentrating
4. lack of interest in activities once enjoyed
5. moodiness
6. increased appetite
7. insomnia or hypersomnia
8. feeling overwhelmed or out of control
9. other physical symptoms
10. symptoms that disturb social, occupational, or physical functioning
11. symptoms that are not related to, or exaggerated by, another medical condition
What is the Difference Between PMS and PMDD?
The physical symptom list is identical for PMS and PMDD; while the emotional symptoms are similar, they are significantly more serious with PMDD. In PMDD, the criteria focus on the mood rather than the physical symptoms. With PMS, sadness or mild depression is not uncommon. With PMDD, however, significant depression and hopelessness may occur; in extreme cases, women may feel like killing themselves or others. Attributing suicidal or homicidal feelings to “it’s just PMS” is inappropriate; these feelings must be taken as seriously as they are in anyone else and should be promptly brought to the attention of mental health professionals.
Women who have a history of depression are at increased risk for PMDD. Similarly, women who have had PMDD are at increased risk for depression after menopause. In simplest terms, the difference between PMS and PMDD can be likened to the difference between a mild headache and a migraine

This is exactly how it feels! I'm just so glad I googled this. They say to take Vitamin B Complex, Magnesium, and Vitamin C....so I'll be trying that for the next couple of months and let's see. Hopefully this will curb the PMS depressions.

Does anyone else go through this? I just thought it'd be important to post so any others who are out there can acknowledge or take note of this kind of thing so they know how to deal with it.

Lessons So Far - On Entrepreneurship

2008-08-13T13:29:00.000+03:00

First guys, I want to thank you guys so much for leaving encouraging comments. I’m not sure you’ll fully understand how much they help me. I appreciate all the love and advice cuz somedays it’s just that much harder to follow through but then I truly wouldn’t want to let any of you down!! So thanks again!

Now I’ve been thinking about some of the lessons I’ve learned so far on this journey. It’s been interesting because it’s not at all what I thought it’d be like. It’s quite a different world, sometimes I feel like I’m living in an undercover world I never get to see while sitting at a desk at your 9-5 job. But anyways, here are some lessons:

Surprisingly one of the hardest things to get used to is the not waking up in the morning and going to the office. Or sitting in a boardroom in a meeting while someone prepares coffee or something like that. As an entrepreneur, meeting is anywhere, and work is everytime! This is actually VERY challenging for me as I’m always feeling like a slacker. It takes repeating it to myself over and over again like a mantra: “I’m trying to build something here”.
You do everything, everytime. It sounds clichéd cuz you always hear people say it but you don’t really get it until you have to go meet with client, come back type proposal, develop your ad, give ad material to communication vehicle, go pick your cards from the printer, write contracts, speak with your lawyer, etc. all in a day’s work!
Entrepreneurship is like school. (school of the hard knocks lol). But really it is like school because you have to know your sh--. You have to know your apples from your bananas and how do you do that? You research and research and research and read and read. Then you have to apply yourself. Except this time your grades are not printed on a paper and handed to you with a pat on the back at the end of the year. You get them in you bank account. A D grade = no money = you’re gonna drop out soon my friend!
As an entrepreneur you’re constantly thinking in the future, and I think as an employee, you’re constantly thinking in the now. That’s a different orientation that I have to be conscious of changing. As an employee you’re worried about THIS project, and THIS work your boss gave you, and THIS year’s performance review…etc. As a self-employed businessperson you’re thinking, how will what I’m doing now translate 2, 3 years from now?
I cannot explain the feeling of fulfillment you get when you see your project implemented in the real world. When you see 4 young men, working, making an income because of your project or your brainchild. It is so fulfilling. Yesterday as I was just about to go to sleep, you know that time period where you’re kinda almost dreaming already but you’re kinda awake, it felt like I had a dream where I actually commissioned a market research project and people are actually out there, answering it, and I felt this sense of pride, and then it occurred to me, I wasn’t actually dreaming, it was REALLY happening. The feeling is amazing.

So I think that’s it so far, I really want to take the time and ruminate more but I have so much work to do and on days like this where my focus is 110%, the less distractions the better. But you get my drift.

Ciao bambinos!

Rainmaker, Rainmaker....

2008-08-08T19:29:00.002+03:00

I'm sitting at a bar....trying to plan a project i'm sooooo dedicated to. I guess I'm just not a good communicator like I want to be cause I can't seem to convey the same belief, hardwork and commitment to this project from others. It's quite a daunting project but I just wish people would see something and just truly belief in the potential rather than trying to humor me.

I know it's hardwork but truly there's money there. But i feel people are more interested in the easy type of money making....the looking for godfathers and godmothers to just rain the money on them...and for that they are willing to go all lengths. Not that I'm condemning that but I'm just not used to that. I'm not used to not believing in things. I'm not used to not believing I can achieve ANYTHING (my last post notwithstanding lol). I'm my own rainmaker dammit!!!! why do I have to move to the whims of some egoistic, small-minded people. To me that always limits your achievements.

Aaargh, i'm just frustrated.

I hate Lagos sometimes. I hate Nigeria sometimes.

Just open your minds............jeeeeeez! be creative and work!

I don't care who your father is.

I don't care if Puff Daddy has done that project before. (not the case here lol)

I don't care if I have to go and suck Fashola's middle toe.

I don't care if it's never been done before.

I just really believe that the great ones, the truly inspiring ones are the ones that write their own rules.

I WILL BE MY OWN RAINMAKER BABY!!!

Follow Follow

2008-08-05T12:16:00.002+03:00

I'm in a weird place right now, just this very moment. It's like i have this negative cloud just perched behind me, monitoring my every move, trying to remind me that.....that....it's there.

I can try and grab the bible and inject myself with a dose of faith and spirituality and God. Everything will be okay, God has ordained it so.

Or I can try clicking refresh on facebook several times willing it, God, willing it to just show something new that would take my mind of that....that cloud.

I can submit to it and go fully into depression mode.

How did I get here? (situation, not existence!)

Where am I going?

Is this the right decision?

Why Do I feel so out of water?

Am I just being lazy and not looking for a proper job or do I really believe in what I'm doing?

It's so intangible. Belief. How can I quantify it to anyone in explanation. Okay, I can have a job for Nx million or I have this belief that this is where i should go. Although right this minute it's more expenditure than income. This minute.

It's not the job alone though. In my relationships, I feel like I may not be saying the right things to the right people the right way. Nothing is structured with emotions flying here there and everywhere. I'm the one who has walked away from those who loved her, loved those who did not love her and could not love those that did. Confused?

Truly though, I feel like these are just demons, you know. Fighting these demons that's in my head, in my mind, in mind blood, telling me I cannot and will not achieve the things I want most to achieve. They are not real. I know. It's my fear. I know. But my fears are taking on lives of their own, pulling up cushions and lodging themselves in my consciousness. Why is this so important to me anyway?

This fish is out of its fishbowl. I'm feeling a bit of fish outta the water. Me. The accidental entrepreneur.

I never wanted to be an entrepreneur. Ever since I was little and decided I wanted to be a bigshot power business executive, I always dreamt of the top floor, corner office, wielding and dealing, but never wanted that top floor to be of my own building! In fact I used to always say while I was in college, "I'm not an entrepreneur", so I never took any of those classes. Nope. My dream was Fortune 500. Now look at me. The accidental entrepreneur.

I'm just following the flow. Going wherever my feet is taking me and whatever seems to be the next logical step. Foot forward. But there's so much instability EVERYWHERE. I think it could kill me.

I've been having panic attacks for the last 3 weeks and I'm afraid to face the fact that I know why. That I'm constantly checking, where is my paycheck gonna come from? And then I muster up some faith and stubborness, then pick up a bible......

Something in me tells me, this is a growth period for me. It doesn't make it any less difficult. A line from one my favorite movies (Evita) says "sometimes it's difficult to keep momentum when it is you that you are following."

So I'm testifying here with this post. It is difficult to follow yourself, your heart.

He who has ears, let him hear.

Vacay Week!

2008-07-23T12:19:00.003+03:00

I'm sitting in my living room, no NEPA, and some sort of church service going on a couple of houses from me (it's wednesday morning o) and some thoughts are forming in my head right now:

I don't go to church enough. I need to go more. My spiritual well-being is rooted in me going to church. I hate this feeling when I slip and I know I'm not where I should be.

why o why do pentecostal churches in nigeria feel that it's okay not only NOT TO HAVE soundproof walls, but to go the extra measure and conduct the full service with loud speakers? WHY WHY WHY???? what exactly is the rationale and who are the dunces that go there and can't speak up to say look....this is wrong. What part of Christianity says disturb your neighbours, interrupt the peace and tranquility and more flock will come to you? I missed that part.....if you want to evangelize, abeg do it the old fashion way, pick up your birkenstocks and waka, abi? I mean what's the point? to reach those (like me) to lazy to get their big butts up? or to reach those lost souls??? either way, is loudspeakering the message the best way to do so??? methinks it's the lazy way....

ah well...anyway...

My vacay break has been good thus far jare. At one point though, maybe today, I'll have to sit down and re-evaluate my plan for my business (marketing consulting - shameless plug, sue me!). I've finally gotten what we all say we never have - enough time - so i have to do this the proper way. the last two days have just been haphazard but we have to get down to bi'ness soon. I'm so excited at the prospect of working on my own and so proud of myself that yet again, I've crossed a border where FEAR resides for most people and I'm gonna conquer it. After, I'll have such a story to tell...........my motto this year is "Leave it to me and I'll be living proof". This motto means so much to me. One of my constant objectives in life is to push through the walls and ceilings we all build around ourselves, our lives, to show that really and truly, nothing is impossible. Our mind is the only barrier.

If you say, "how i wish I could....." I say why not? go out and do it! the world won't fall. Trust me. We all must conquer fear. That's the only thing that separates you from the life of your dreams.

*******

Now ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, i don't usually give life advices (my rant up there notwithstanding) but please I have a golden nugget of truth to share with you this morring. He who has ears let him ear o...ehen:

No matter how rich you are, no matter how powerful you are, no matter how influential you are, there are two things you should NEVER, EVER buy the following two things...

Love
Sex

These two things are free. As free as the air you breathe in, i would even say freer. Let me explain myself. It's simply a bad investment. If what you want is sex, ecstasy, orgasm, cuddling, kisses, etc, trust me when i say there are many folks out there who would give you all of that, free of charge so why pay? Even worse, the person you're paying knows this fact, and knows that this is just an awoof opportunity, so they try to milk you dry before you realize you just paid for something you coulda had for free. Now if what you want is LOVE, you should realize that if that other person truly truly loved you, the kind of love that you romanticize and therefore want to pay for, if they really loved you like that, they'd do it for FREE. you don't even have to be or do anything but be yourself. In fact, they will cling to you as you would be their very breathe, the person would wake in the morning and think of you first thing and want to be with you. That's love my dears, and it's absolutely free.

So don't get suckered. Remember, i didn't say money/influence/power CAN'T buy you love, it probably can, but why buy something that's free?

I've seen too many people (and i'm watching one unfold right underneath my eyes...) that sweat and huff and puff with so much effort to pay for someone's love and affection and at the same time, that person is giving it for free to someone else. Be Careful.

***********

Last but not least.....preparations are under way.....finally the most anticipated Nigerian album is about to be launched.......what am i talking 'bout???

The One, The Only, African Micheal Jackson, Koko-Master himself, THE ENTERTAINER.............

DBANJ!!!!!!!!

and who's gonna be all up in that ish?????? yerp (that's phonee for yep), ME!!!! Really I don't even know what to wear for this ish o, but i know i want to look HOT! I took my dress to the tailors yesterday but i don't know......i think i want to buy a back up dress too, just in case.....LOL! But this thing is gonna be hot sha....for sure I'll bring pics and FO SHO the Unrulies will be well represented.........

KIMON! LET'S GO..........WA GBA!

An Ode To My Peeps...

2008-07-18T14:06:00.003+03:00

So as I was mulling over what to blog about, I was typing a note to my friend on facebook and this idea just came to me. It's not that I don't have things to blog about, on the contrary, everyday, sometimes several times during the day I think to myself "I'm soooo blogging about this". But then I'm too busy during the day and then at night I just want to jump in my bed! But first things first...yea, I was typing a note to my friend Christopher - an unruly of course - and for some reason the name Christy came to mind and I remembered my grandma used to call my dad's driver back then Christy. She didn't speak too much english but she got along well with Bro.Chris or Bon Chris as we used to call him(lol) and I guess calling him Christy was her term of endearment....anyhoo, so I got to thinking hmmm.....I miss my grandparents, I don't have any alive anymore.....maybe I should blog about them, like an ode to my grandparents. So here we are!

Grandparents are special! kinda magical even. They usually play such a key role in our childhoods and many of us remember them so fondly as adults. Many have stories of hidden stashes of sweets or biscuits their grandparent used to clandestinely give to them when parents weren't watching, or just generally remember jolly old "father and mother christmas-y" kinda figures. Like I said I don't have any living grandparents anymore (and 1 less parent, aren't u sad for me?) but I remember most of them very well. They say we live on through the eyes of our children so I guess through honoring them here, they live on.

Granddad
My dad's father we called Granddad. He died in 1984 when I was just a wee lil lass. He's the one I have the least memories of but he arguably has the most impact on my life now out of all four. Granddad to me was a larger than life figure. Apparently when he was young he trekked from his hometown, Isara in Ogun State to Lagos state ON FOOT to come and do some real Lagos hustlin'...u know, that kin ting now. Anyhoo, I'm foggy on all the details but he ends up being a big distributor and invests in stock market and real estate and all of that. So he's successful sha.

Granddad also had 4 wives and 14 kids, just 3 of them are girls so you can imagine a house full of rambuctious kids and apparently Granddad acted accordingly in order to deal with all these gende (men) in the house. Gist was he was quite clever and hmmm..........prudent with his money. You had to have a DAMN good reason to get money outta him, ESPECIALLY if he hasn't explicitly approved of whatever it is you're doing in your life, in all aspects of your life. LOL. So if he tells you not to marry someone and you do and he finds out, kai! no more money. for NATHING. lol. He was also apparently stubborn (now u know where I gots it from). But he was known for being a family man, as in when he was alive, he held everyone together and everyone behaved. My sis has memories of him telling her to come and she'd jump on his lap and he would call her his mother (my sis is Yetunde meaning mother comes back) etc. All my older cousins also have fun memories of hanging out with Granddad. He also apparently was fond of my mom and was very happy my Dad married her (my Dad was a rascal o! lol).

My Granddad is the one i think I feel his spirit around me the most. I always feel he's watching over me and proud of me somehow...i don't know, i've always felt that since I was little. Especially when I need courage to do something, to move to nigeria, to run my company full time, I always always feel "well, my granddad did it, so it's in me and i'm gonna make it".

Mama Bishop
Mama Bishop is my Dad's mom and my Dad was kinda her favorite child. She was the first wife of Granddad and had SEVEN of his 14 kids!!!! so she was the queen bee in that household! She's was also somewhat of a Queen B--- oops.....okay okay, but she kinda was o! lol. So maybe that's where I got THAT side from LOL. Mama as she was fondly called got married to Granddad when she was just 15! so for me when I think of that I excuse a lot of the things she did and said because me i'm a woman too, and if my husband married 3 other wives apart from me and we were all living in the same household and I was 15 when I married the mofo, and essentially illiterate, then I might have done some of that ish too! Lots of stories are bound about Mama which for the sake of not tainting my own good name, i'll leave out from this blog...lol....suffice to say she was B-A-D sha and most of it i think were just rumours sha..lol. Mama wasn't very fond of my own mama and those stories are also abound....

Apparently I look like Mama Bishop and she luuuuurved ME. lol. She used to call me Ibeji Mi (My Twin). The birthday party her kids threw for her, was it in 1992?!??? was and is still one of the significant events of my childhood. We shut down Bishop street and everyone boogied and partied and bulls...... lol. I just remember that the whole family had been preparing for this parry for a long, long time and all the grandkids wore the same outfit, and at the parry, the band was playing all kinds of grooves, played shina peters grooves and u know now...............................DANCING COMPETITION!!!! lol. That was a fun day! I also remember that Mama used to always kill a cow or goat or whatever during christmas and Ileya (Eid el Fitri i think) and her place was THE place to be! My last memory of Mama was the day before the entire family moved to Canada and we spent almost the entire day in Bishop (bishop street is the street she lived on in surulere). In the afternoon, Mama insisted on going into her room to get a picture of herself and gave it to my sister. She was crying and wiping her eye and was like "Am I ever going to see you kids again? Will I ever see you kids again in my life?". Even though I was little and didn't really get the emotion, I remember just being sad then. She never did see us again.

Grandma
Grandma was my Mom's mother. I have to say she's the one I have the least....connection to. I just remember her being a gentle spirit, a gentle soul. But we didn't really see her that much cuz my Mom's parents lived in Ibadan though they were very much a part of our lives. Maybe much of this is because my own Mom and Grandma were never too too tight so it's possible it translated on to us. Grandma was apparently a disciplinarian and strict too! She was extremely protective of her daughters I think cuz my Mom always complained that she was never allowed to do the things her twin brother did. There are certain sayings and Yoruba proverbs that my Mom says a lot and has passed on to us that I know where from Grandma. She was just that kind of woman, very upstanding, very traditional. One thing that is interesting is that she got married late (mid to late twenties i think which is old for her generation) and to a man who was 10 years her senior! I think she was the original independent woman jo! She and her husband ran many businesses but mostly, she kept a clothes store in Dugbe and my Mom has fond memories of the Dugbe Market days. I never saw the store sha, that era ended before me!

Grandpa
I think I've left the absolute best for last!!! Grandpa is my mother's father. I LOVE Grandpa. I always say this: the best man I've ever known is my grandpa. He was just phenomenal, kind hearted, gentle, wise, funny, intelligent, intellectual, open minded, generous, caring, God-fearing, faithful, everything good in the world sha, my grandpa was. My Mom LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED her father so much and they were very close, he in turn absolutely adored her. There's a family pic of my mom's when they were all little and while everyone was standing upright, my mom was leaning on her father's leg, looking so contented. My Mom called her father unfailingly every Sunday....we always knew whenever we heard "Papa Mi....Papa Mi.." that it was that time again lol. They loved each other and my Mom lost her father just 4months after losing her husband so you can imagine how tough.

Grandpa was born 1910, can u imagine! He was the first son of a royal family of Odogbolu (Moloda) and was next in line but rejected the crown because of his religious beliefs. While i'm not particularly sure exactly what Grandpa trained as, I think it had something to do with Agriculture cuz he worked at the Agric Ministry for a looong time, he also owned a bakery for a loooong time, lol. He was also the first person to have a car in the town they lived in at the time so you know.....he was happening now, lol. Grandpa converted to Christianity and joined the Cherubim & Seraphim (C&S, Kerubu ati Serafu, K&S) Church and by the time of his death he was the Supreme Head of C&S Churches in Nigeria and Worldwide....meaning he was like Pastor Adeboye, but for C&S....kinda.

I was always close to sha and again, maybe because of my Mom's relationship with him I always thought he was the most fabulous thing after sliced bread. Grandpa remembered EVERY SINGLE THING you ever tell him, and he'll ask you about it later, so if you said "Oh I joined the choir grandpa" whenever you talk to him he'll ask you about it which always made you feel connected to the guy cuz he always remembered. Also he was very patridge-y/cosby-ish so he was always happy with like cousins singing group, and grandkids association, etc. To say he was the patriach of the Osinowo family would be a gross understatement! He was like the don everyone respected and deferred to and everything. The pillar of strength for all those around him. A fountain of wisdom, love, and advice. He and his wife were married for 50 odd years and my sis said at grandma's funeral, he just sat there looking forlorn and lost and the next morning when she went to wake him up, he was curled up on HIS side of the bed while the other side (Grandma's side) was still neat and fresh. He was sad he had lost his partner of so many years.

Grandpa knew everything o! and could read and read and read. He kept diaries since he was like young, wrote his family history, translated the C&S english hymnal to yoruba at like 80! The last time I saw him, he was like 90 and still had a mountain of books on his bed that he was currently reading. When we moved to Canada, I decided I was going to write him letters periodically and tell him how everyone was doing which I continued even till 2003/04. Grandpa cherished those letters and in 2004 when I saw he practically asked me about all those things I was writing!!! He was even asking my siblings questions about them and they were shocked, not knowing I had gisted him jo! lol. He was asking me about Quebec and whether I learnt French there since he always wanted to go there.....this is from a 90 year old man o! lol. I loved him so. Because of him I can never think all men are bad, or all people are bad or any of those kinds of thinkings we get from time to time, cuz I always remember my Grandpa was a good guy. A genuinely good human being. Because of him I will always feel connected to Odogbolu because it meant so much to him that we all remember where we came from.

Whew! There you have it - My Peeps! the ones whom I stand on their shoulders. Maybe one day my own grandkid would write something like this about me in the space blog or something that they'd have then...lol!

So High....

2008-07-10T20:37:00.002+03:00

git ur mind outta the gutter jo! :o) not high like ganja/vodka high. permit me to explain will ya?

Heard a song today that just took me back. The song touched my soul o, kai! I used to LOOOOOVE this song. I would just put the cd in my discman after work in Boston, then trek the 15min to South Station to take the 6 Train home (to B-ROCK!) along with my fellow captives of the concrete jungle that is the Financial District, with power suit, pearls and Nike sneakers! lol. Anyhoo....whenever this particular song would come on, i'd just get lost in it, in the emotions, in the words, and it would seem that I was floating towards the train station with no cares in mind.

So I haven't listened to that song in forever! Maybe about 3 years? so imagine me randomly going through blogworld and as the page is loading, the song just comes on unexpectedly....immediately it just went straight to my soul. straight. It's weird how that happens and I knew I would try and blog about the feeling because it was so real. Like if you remember the song that was playing when you got your first kiss and the song took away every emotion of the moment and kept it so that everytime it played the harmonies paint the emotions exactly.

Now what was this song??? just guess now................okay. okay. John Legend "So High"....of course! :o) Sometimes you don't know how deep a song is until you try to sing it and sing it with all the emotions of the singer and you realize you have to dig really dip to be able to match the tone. So High is that kind of a song. And then it brought all these feelings like:

"Why have I given up on love?"

The song sounds like a sweet song from another island to me, like a familiar but distant song. That made me sad. I've felt that kind of strong emotion and pull to someone before and I so badly want to feel that way again or want to believe I can feel that way again. That kind of exhilaration or to be so completely enamored by someone, to be so completely lost in someone. To look into someone's face and feel lust, and love, and admiration, and respect, and partnership, and safety, and joy ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Love is truly marvelous and I miss it.

Notice I didn't say relationship. I said love. Some would read this and say oh, Lola's talking about wanting a guy, but no, it's not about that. I can live 1000 years without a "relationship" but I can't live 10 years without love.

You Want A Piece of Me

2008-07-02T16:07:00.002+03:00

I'm hurt that none of it matters to you still
I'm hurt that everything makes perfect sense in your world
I'm hurt the way you look at her, and glance at her
I'm hurt that I sold myself out
I'm hurt that it's all so easy to you, I'm so easy to you
I'm hurt that you. just. let me go.
Just.

okay had to get that out! I think i've been selling my readers out for a bit. This blog was supposed to be as honest as possible as regards my experiences and sharing them with you guys but the truth is instead of writing from my heart and just putting it down, i start from who might be reading and then try and write something appropriate. But i'm not doing that anymore. My blog is my blog dammit! lol.

My name is Lola and this is MY blog! wooooosaah!

So moving on....
UBP 0608 was a blast!!!!!! I love my bros and sis(s) i.e the UnRuLies sooo much. There was plenty food, plenty drink, and a beautiful beautiful beach house. We left from Ikoyi Boat Club to Ilashe Island which took like 25-30min! I think we did well with the scheduling and all even though in the morning the boat drivers were like running kabu kabu with our boats or something sheesh! The last boat got back to the boat club around 730-ish which was still alright....but no incidents whatsoever thank God! I've heard of some other folks who were getting beaten by snakes and boats capsizing and all that ish...............

Anyhoo, thanks to the lucky 30! I was so knackered and hum............."high" enh, Monday morning at the office was killer! I had to actually go a 30min ride away to get a medium cup of Latte (since that was the only place around that sold the gaddamn thing!). My colleagues just didn't get the whole coffee/latte thing they were like "ehn so just buy Nescafe 3-in-1 now abi kini big deal?".........lol. For all of y'all that don't know 3-in-1 tastes like water with two granules of coffee. blah!

*****
Ooooh, I don't know if many of you (3) readers are aware but I no longer work at Cadbury Nigeria Plc. I've complained so many times on here about all the goings on and I just finally decided I didn't want anymore. So now I work at a new mystery company. Everything is grand BUT...............

The love of my life, my baby, my pride, BRENTT sits cooing beautiful, melodic sounds in my ear, drawing me to roll over to his side. I think I may. You may be wondering what/who BRENTT is but don't fret. I will do a proper introduction soon. I love BRENTT though and can't wait to drop everything and run to him/her/it.

********
Relationships are still complicated. Sometimes I just want to close my eyes for 10 seconds, open them, look to my left and see this gorgeous chocolate man who loves me and is dedicated and committed to me and whom I love so much it hurts to the pit of my soul. I don't want to do the work of getting to this point however. All that relationship bruhaha, i don't want to do it. Just wake up and it's there.

Bastard (of other posts fame) is communicating again. I wonder what the hell for. I mean even a vulture would sha fly away leaving the carcass abi? Bastard wants to watch the carcass disintegrate as well. anh anh..............why call me? Meanwhile he doesn't know I know ALL his shit, someone better tell him o! talking 'bout "what did i do to upset you so much?" Sheeesh!

********
Why did I title this post "You Want A Piece of Me"? I've got Britney's song in my head and it just seems so appropriate to how I'm feeling right now about everything, especially work!

IT'S COMING!

2008-06-22T17:17:00.003+03:00

30 Beaurriful Peeps of Lagos

1 Island Beach House

0608 - Get Your Passcode!

Many of you know I'm part of a collective known as UnRuLy, or The Unrulies. UnRuLy is a movement. It's a lifestyle. It's a philosophy. And we are ready to take over Lagos......

Do You Swe?

2008-06-13T01:44:00.002+03:00

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeet! I just wrote a whole thing that I really had to get out and was really satisfied with and blogger just messed me up. I don't think I can type it all again :o( :o( :o(

Land That I Love....

2008-06-12T12:53:00.003+03:00

This post is inspired by Nigerian Drama Queen's post here.

Many people love to hate on America. It's the big white giant elephant in the room that everyone can just target for fun. I mean George Bush jokes are quite international. No one will argue with you if you say things like: "Damned Americans", "American's are so dumb", etc. Most will agree, laugh and move on.

But I'm always sensitive to all that kinda talk. I LOVE America. I'm sorry but I do. I love America and all it stands for. A lot of those things are the things I stand for. I don't know where to start but let me start with these.....

God Bless America,
Land that I love.
Stand beside her, and guide her
Thru the night with a light from above.
From the mountains, to the prairies,
To the oceans, white with foam
God bless America, My home sweet home.

oooh, here's another one:

O beautiful, for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America! God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood, from sea to shining sea.

O beautiful, for pilgrim feet
Whose stern, impassioned stress
A thoroughfare for freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America! God mend thine ev'ry flaw;
Confirm thy soul in self control, thy liberty in law!

O beautiful, for heroes proved
In liberating strife,
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life!
America! America! May God thy gold refine,
'Til all success be nobleness, and ev'ry gain divine!

O beautiful, for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years,
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!
America! America! God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood, from sea to shining sea!

I can also quote the Star Spangled Banner, but I won't (yet anyway, no promises!) but let's take a look at the Pledge of Allegiance, which I had to recite in my school every morning in home room, standing up and facing the flag:

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

The Pledge of Allegiance was amended in 1954 and here's what the convincing argument was for amending it:

These words...will remind Americans that despite our great physical strength we must remain humble. They will help us to keep constantly in our minds and hearts the spiritual and moral principles which alone give dignity to man, and upon which our way of life is founded.

Some people reading this are wandering...........ehn ehn so what? I'm only going this far because many people don't know the context in which the average American live. In high school i HAD to take US History in Grade 11, it was compulsory for graduating. They read all these things, they imbibe it all. These words are not just history, they are lived, sometimes on a daily basis and mean soooo much to the average American. These are good principles. Patriotism, Equality, Liberty, Justice, "Pursuit of happiness", Entrepreneurship, Freedom, Human Rights, Constitutitional Rights, Democracy, and so on and so forth. I'm not saying that they do all these things perfectly oh, but no one can argue that these concepts are ones that America is pre-occupied with and grapple constantly with, they are at the forefronts of these discourses. Which is more than can be said for the majority of countries anywhere.

I always say they are many bad apples in the US but all you need is one good apple, and that ONE good apple can change the lot. Not only that but you can almost always bank on the fact that there WILL be one good apple amongst the bunch. That's what America means to me.

People think of America as this homogenous land but it's not. Someone in Boston can be so different from someone in Ohio, so different to a Texan, so different to a Californian, so different from someone from Utah. As in VEEERY different oh. They don't all think alike and feel the same way.

Me I love the country sha. The land of Starbucks, and MTV, and ObamaRama, and........

PS - no one should come to me and tell me I should be writing about Nigeria and all that junk. I'm not small-minded or close-minded enough to only love one country and blind myself to all others. I love Nigeria, Canada, and US all equally. SUE ME THEN.

Six Quirks Tag!

2008-06-08T17:35:00.004+03:00

I've been tagged!!!
Here are the rules:
1.link the person who tagged you: Ms. Minx
2. Mention the rules in your blog…
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours...
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them…
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged...

6 quirks...

I don't like going out at night when there's a full moon. I don't know i'm just superstitious like that. All the times i've been robbed in Lagos, it's been a full moon.....coincidence? I think not! There has to be something behind the folklore now, there's never smoke without fire methinks!
I keep in touch with everybody FOREVER! lol. If i've met you, and i still have your phone number, chances are that I'll call u up sometime, even if it's like 4 years later! In fact, I just got off the phone with someone I haven't seen in like 4 years, who lives half the world away, and whose life has changed so much from when I knew him that if we were to actually sit face to face we might not recognize each other, but hey....at least we're "keeping in touch". I just don't like to ever loose a friend.
Inside my heart somewhere, I believe that the Yahoo Horoscopes are true....lol! I mean how can it be sooo right most of the time I check it? I read the daily horoscope, then the weekly one, then the monthly one, then the yearly one. I read the yearly one several times during the year just to check up on how it's shaping up so far. I don't go reading the daily one every day, maybe once or twice a month but still....i'm always up on it o!
My name is Lola and I have a slight obsession with Beyonce. there, i finally admit it ok? jeez. Yes I go to BeyonceWorld and quite often too. I check up on the pics, see which magazines she's in, read the articles...blah blah blah. okay? Sometimes I think how can a girl be living such a great life and everything just.....works out? Not Fair :o(
I love eggs. Eggs are my favorite food. Any which way, scrambled, fried, omelette, sunny side up, poached, boiled, scotch eggs.....anything. When I was in college I used to have just scrambled eggs -no salt, black pepper, and american cheese...yum! - and orange juice for breakfast pretty much every morning. No bread, no croissant or anything to go with the eggs o, just eggs. Sometimes i'd have it for dinner too.....
I dance in the house, when no one's home. I can just feel like letting loose or not thinking about anything, get home, turn on the music really loud - usually beyonce of course - sing along at the top of my voice and just dance. This can actually go on for hours. In my head i'll think up different scenarios like i'm in a club, or i'm singing at a show or something, and then just go.

whew! good thing to stop here before i delve deeper into weirdness....lol!

I tag:

Spa Girl
The Unrulies
Linda Ikeji
Ibiluv
any other person reading this!

Pieces of Me

2008-05-12T22:05:00.002+03:00

Just some words today my pretties. Does He Know is actually dear to me and this post started with me wanting to share it but then i wanted to share another and another. Enjoy and let me know what you think!

Does He Know
he walks in a certain way
moves to a certain groove
his language speaks to me in a way i cannot say
and when he speaks i drown in his words
travelling the world in a second as he talks
i wonder is he feeling me like i feel
how long is it gonna take for him to see....

he's funny in a smart way
smart in a funny way
he doesn't know at night how i yearn for him
and when he speaks his eyes just light up
oh i can't say enough of how my heart jumps
i wonder is he feeling me like i feel
how long is it gonna take for him to see....

The Seduction

I imagine a beat playing
More like a theme song
Maybe the guitar riffs of Shaft
A confident swagger, slow stepping
He ain’t hearing the music
But he knows the rhythm well
Keep your eye on his steady feet
For his eyes, they mesmerize
And all he touches he tames
To the unknowing, the beat takes sway
Once more he has his way

Keep Floating

Keep floating
I release you to the wind so you can
Keep floating
Maybe reach a destination
Maybe ease a frustration
Keep floating
All the good you did to me
You can bring to them
Keep floating
As they hold hands
And they walk to a rhythm
Keep floating
Or maybe he’s on his knees
Hands shaking at those rings
Keep floating
Or she’s left alone wandering
Never knowing really
Keep floating
Keep floating
Keep floating
If the love we felt was that strong
Then I will command it hold on
And even if it’s not us two
May it keep floating to the right two

Memories of Falling in Love...

2008-04-23T00:00:00.002+03:00

Just browsing through blog world and landed at Overwhelmed Naija Babe's blog where she mentioned that her aunt made fried eggs on a firewood and I thought back.......

I remember the day I fell in love with him. We were hanging out as usual at our usual meeting spot, and I guess both of us didn't really want to leave. So we kept talking and talking knowing full well that the later it got, the higher the chance that I'd have to stay somewhere on the Island. After a little while I leaned over and asked him, "can I stay over yours?" and he answered that yes it was fine. We continued talking but inside of me I was already filling up with anxiety and expectation and slight fear. I had never even suggested staying at his place the numerous times we've hung out late into the night (or late in Lagos terms as in crossing third mainland at night is not something one should get used to..) let alone stayed there so this was going to be something new. Even though there had been tension in our friendship so far, we hadn't crossed any of those kinds of lines yet. Maybe? Maybe not......

So we get to his place in Ikoyi, and since he was moving the apartment was really a ghost of an apartment with nothing much left in it but memories. We settled down, got to talking and soon he just drifted off to sleep but I was wide awake. Mostly because the radio was on and I can never sleep with the radio on, but also cuz there was this man I admired so much, whom inspired me so much, sleeping next to me in his boxers and his tattoo. So I just lay there and let my thoughts drift over the sound of the radio. That's when Robin Thicke's song came on, "lost without youuuu...can't help myself.....how does it feel........." and I became lost in those words, and in that moment, I gave in. I gave in to all the emotions.

Morning came. I barely slept really and mentioned that when he woke up and he nodded his head saying he kinda noticed. So we left it at that. He got up and asked what I wanted to eat, boasting that he cooks the best breakfast so I said to show me. We moved to the kitchen, which of course had a makeshift, just run through quality about it, no gas no stove. So he went to the balcony, lit the firewood there, and put the pan on. As the radio blared on in the kitchen, we diced and passed this and that, while the pan sizzled. Robin Thicke comes on the radio...."lost without you....can't help myself..." We both don't say anything just started singing along. I felt content in that moment and thought back to my surrender to this man under the influence of the same song in the dead of the night. I loved him then. But I couldn't say so, just joked about the caveman romance of the moment, he making sure I ate even if frying eggs by firewood in the early morning.

We went into his room and ate and talked. Just talked and morning lazied into afternoon and I didn't want to go. I knew I would have to but I knew I didn't want to. I could spend many more nights and days with this man. As I walked out the door that afternoon, I took a look back at the abandoned apartment where love grew. Just then he shut the door and we both walked away.

*****
This mysterious "he" may read this blog and recognize the story and you know what, it's okay. That was a while ago and sometimes these things just happen!

If I Had The Money......

2008-04-12T15:09:00.002+03:00

This post is entirely dedicated to all the things i would get if truly I had the money!!! I've been wanting to do this particular one for a while but so many things got in the way, alas, here it is sha..........i hope y'all luuuurves it and if there are any rich folks reading this and feeling philantrophic pls, buy one of them for me and i'll love you forever. i swear. lol! Enjoy!!!!

Range Rover

ok. how sexy is this thing??? like i can't really talk cuz just looking at it is a bit orgasmic for me. I don't know what it is as I don't usually go gaga over cars but naaa........seriously look at it!!! It also costs 21m naira apparently. Now a friend of mine recently told me he's getting this car and gosh you can't imagine all the things I put on the table as barter in just driving around the car with him. Yea...that bad. To all those expecting me to reel off a list of motor mumbo jumbo about specs and all that, sorry but you are going to be disappointed. this is where it ends. sexy car........

Ford Thunderbird

Ok. I didn't mean to talk about two cars but i just thought why not! The Ford T-Bird is my favorite car of all time. They stopped making them in like 2005 i think and I was sooo crushed as they've been my dream for a while and even still in this lifetime I will own a tbird oh, gba be! They're actually not very expensive for a car at about $40 to 50,000, I still can't afford it so I'm putting it on my if i had money list.....ah....one day TBird Retro Generation, one day....

Royal Oak Offshore Lady Alinghi Chronograph

Just from the name sef you go know say too much efeezy meeeehn! I love this watch o! I've liked Audemars Piguet watches since my days in Ottawa, and then of course strolling down Copley Plaza in downtown Boston. Anyhoo, this baby will only set me back about $24,000! Not too much abi? LOL! but 'is beaurriful non?

Samsung G800

This is one of Samsung's new phone and yeeeeees, that's a 5.0 megapixel camera. I love Samsung since I bought a flip one last year that armed robbers stole from me just a few months after so since then i've been crazy for Samsungs and then I found this one. Plus I like G600 as well. so if anyone looooooooooves me. this is it. well after the Nokia E61i

Nokia E61i

I actually love this phone and I've been coveting it for quite some time now. First my colleague in the office I had it and I fell in love with it. Then when I was going to buy my ill-fated Samsung described above I saw it but was advised against it as per the E61 then didn't have a camera phone. And then this version came out and since then i've been seriously dreaming and fantasizing about it. The phone costs about N60,000 here. Now that's some serious change so "o gba riro" u know. I've almost bought it several times but I come to my senses very soon after and forget about it. I'm still looking for someone to buy me this phone or the IPhone. Thanks. Much Love.

Burj al-Arab Hotel, Dubai

Of course everyone has heard of the Burj al-Arab hotel in Dubai. We all also know it's the only 7 star hotel in the world currently (though a few others a being built in the same Dubai even an underwater hotel...........ok, so anyway...) I sha dream of visiting this place and staying there at least once before I kpai. It just seems like one of those things that would be just special once in a long while kinds of thing. You only live once abi?

W Hotel

My favorite hotel brand is Westin. I love their Heavenly Sleeper beds and if you've slept in one you'll know exactly what I mean. They always advertise it as sleeping on clouds and it kinda feels like that. Anyhoo, W hotel is an even posher hotel from the Starwood Hotels group of hotels and I've been obsessed ever since I found out about it. It's described as "uber-chic" and has all kinds of extras plus it's kinda like the hotel brand of choice for celebrities. I started falling in love with hotels when I started finding out I could stay at really good ones for cheap at http://www.hotwire.com/ LOL! My favorite W is actually the one in New York on Times Square. I always dream of staying there but i'm sure it's at least $400 per night (come to think of it that's how much you pay at Eko Hotels oh...........thieves!)

Sex Education

2008-04-01T13:05:00.000+03:00

I’m a big big BIG supporter of educating young people about sex. I’ve had the opportunity to teach sex ed classes and I’m very proud of this. Recently I was watching Rubbing R*** oops, I mean, Rubbing Minds, on Channels TV (I haven’t paid my dstv bills which may also explain the onslaught of posts!) and the subject of the day was Pornography. Now the fact that Chude and co are even discussing this topic on national television deserves another post on its own but that’d be digressing….Anyhoo, a friend of mine who’s also on the panel of the show was of the opinion that porn is not only okay but in fact recommends it for young adults 12-18. Rightly, as adults the thought of a 12 year old watching or looking at porn is cringe-worthy and while I don’t particularly subscribe to that point of view, I do believe that it is critical for teenagers in that bracket to be exposed to proper sex education. Watching that show, I started thinking about sex ed generally.

Let’s face it, we’re all curious human beings subjected to the whims of our natural hormones and composition. Certainly by 12 years old we are growing into our bodies, noticing the changes and the reasons for the changes, being aware of ourselves as sexual beings. Curiosity sets in at this age and is even aided along by what we see or read or witness in our peer groups (and I’m not just talking of tv and magazines but of real life). There’s no way you can show me a 12 year old who is not aware of sex and trying to figure out what role it plays or perhaps will play in their lives as an adult being. Now I truly believe that proper sex ed helps to vent these emerging curiosities and help to provide the necessary tools to have an healthy attitude towards it and make the right, informed decisions.

Proper sex ed first and foremost validates the particular pubescent stage in that teenager’s life. It’s about saying, ok, there are certain things happening within and without your body right now, but it’s okay, it’s absolutely normal, and here are the tools to help you cope with it. Then it’s explaining exactly what to expect in physical terms (as plainly as possible in proper medical terms) and teaching how to know and respect your body. It’s also about educating on the whole range of options available to you in many different scenarios and how to go about, confidently, picking the right option. Many people think that sex ed opens up a Pandora’s box so to speak, but I’d rather believe that it is equipping young adults to deal with the contents of the so called Pandora’s box, because believe me it’s opening up at some point and they’re gonna have to deal with it. It’s also important to note that a proper sex ed program must and should always emphasize the benefits of abstinence. Every person, young or old, must know that your sexuality is your own, and whether you’re “active” or not is a decision YOU should actively make.

In this our world, sex ed is also about educating young ones that sex is not just about climax, or doing something “bad”, or satisfying a curiosity, or peer pressure, or anything like that. It’s about entering the world of unwanted pregnancies, of sexually transmitted diseases, of HIV/AIDs. I’m always, always amazed how little people, grown adults know about STDs and I always find myself asking, if you don’t the difference between Chlamydia, or syphilis, or what it looks like, or how it behaves how can you consciously protect yourself? Truly if your partner doesn’t tell you they have Chlamydia how would you know??? Can you recognize herpes? Do you know you can actually still contract herpes even with a condom??? It’s frightening that most people don’t know these things. A recent survey found that 1 out of every 5 young girls in high school in the US has an STD. 1 in 5!!!! And that’s in America, imagine Nigeria where promiscuity is actually rampant and to some extent accepted from aristo-carrying university students, to polygamy, to accepted infidelity, the circle is endless. I remember a married man having a conversation with my male friend and I, rushing off to go and meet 3 different girls in some hotel room and being quiet excited about it. As they say when you sleep with a partner you’re also sleeping with ALL of that person’s partners, I thought about this and thought of the man’s wife and the pool of possible sexual diseases this man can carry home……..truly frightening especially when you think this is a country where condom-wearing is not the norm. If anything I encourage everyone reading this to just get to know about STDs, then you’ll know how to protect yourself and save us all really! A good sex ed program teaches all these things at the onset of sexual curiosity and activeness.

Anyway, I can write all day on this topic as I’m truly very passionate about it but what I truly want to get through is the importance of a proper attitude and knowledge of these matters instead of taboo-ing it. Knowledge is power in every facet of life and still applies in this case.

4 Posts Day

2008-03-25T19:30:00.000+03:00

Hello Folks! I did a lot of writing over the loooong Easter break, so here it is! Hope y'all had a fantastic, fantabulous Easter....me? I was running around too much, plus my gen broke down, plus i forgot to pay my cable bill (again!), plus i "broke off" two friendships...........whew!

Anyhoo, read up and enjoy!

The Unrulies (Post #4)

2008-03-25T19:07:00.002+03:00

The Unrulies are my sisters and brothers, not by blood but by love, as they say true family is created by love. We laugh together, share together, encourage each other, lift each other, and help each other.

I’m inspired by every Unruly. Out there in the world. Hustling. Trying to make a dollar outta some cents and doing so unapologetically. We want to change the world. We want to make our world. Every Unruly aspires to be the best. Every Unruly wants to inspire.

They say people come into your lives for different reasons. To teach different lessons. They may not necessarily stay but their mark will be made. It is one of the things I know for sure, it’s one of the things I embrace. The Unrulies may create this bond of friendship, or we may drift apart, or simply grow into whatever our destinies entail. Even that I embrace. People come into our lives for different reasons, I’m glad they came into mine.

No More P-Square!!!! (Post #3)

2008-03-25T19:05:00.002+03:00

I attended the Hip Hop World Awards held recently in Lagos. While there were many hiccups (venue was too small etc.), it generally went well. I was proud of what Ayo Animashaun and his team had put in place. I’m always fascinated by the “creators” amongst us; how they dream and bring their dreams into reality, creating this “thing”, this “substance” that never was before but alas that is another blog post…. This particular post is an attempt to put into words my utter disgust and the shame I feel for Peter & Paul of PSquare and their brother Jude. So they were up for something like 5 awards this year and won none of them but what do they do??? They start railing and complaining to any press that will listen that it was cheating and so on and so forth. What actually particularly disgusts me is Jude saying “it might have well been called the Yoruba Hip Hop World Awards…” I mean how juvenile and stupid can you get??? See I hate even responding to things like that because there are so many things wrong with that statement and attitude that I don’t even know where to start.

First I’m very disappointed that these guys are tribalists and they’ve let their real selves be shown. What a limiting way to view the world and to view your achievements. We are supposed to be the new generation who doesn’t think like our parents and who believe in one Nigeria while still taking pride in our roots and culture. What is a Yoruba Hip Hop World Awards anyway??? Did he feel stupid saying that? I mean if it were a fuji awards ceremony I’d say okay, maybe, but Hip Hop? I feel idiotic even considering his words I can only imagine how he felt thinking it. I always marvel at how people come up with these ideas as if all Yoruba people got together under some sort of conspiracy to rob PSquare of awards. Pleeease, get over it. I would feel insulted if I didn’t first feel ashamed for these guys.

Second, let’s even take a look at the category that’s causing all the confusion. Best Music Video. For some reason PSquare reasons that because they spent all their savings to go to South Africa to shoot their video in 35mm then that automatically makes their video the baddest video in the land. Even to the extent of calling Jimmy Jatt’s video Stylee “trash”…..trash? I know many people have varying opinions of who they thought shoulda won the award but I actually truly liked Stylee and voted for it to win and all we need are just a few more people that think just like me. Presto! I’d like to think that my opinions are valid too abi? I saw both videos and the Do Me video actually made me NOT like that song. I had bought the cd and liked the song beforehand but when I saw the video, I was less than entertained, I was bored. Is it because you have oyinbo girls in it gyrating in a non-talented manner or the belly dancers? Or the chain of uninspired mono dance moves the guys were exhibiting? I’d pick TY Bello’s Greenland or Asa’s Fire on the Mountain over it ANYDAY, talk less of Stylee. I mean Psquare just had no prayer. They should also get over this and actually conceptualize next time.

Thirdly, Peter and Paul won 5 freaking awards last year! I don’t get it. Was it the Igbo Hip Hop World Awards last year cuz I missed that. They didn’t complain o! These guys are arrogant, petty, short-sighted, sore losers. Bad. Bad. Bad. More so, I was reading the This Day article by Ayeni Adekunle (which actually inspired this post) and I noticed that a pattern with PSquare was evident. A pattern of being sore losers, a pattern of arrogance without merit. They complained about not winning the MOBO, they complained about not winning the MTV EMA, they complained about not winning HHWA. Indeed like Ayeni said they need to learn graciousness and humility but I’m afraid with former fans like myself, it’s a little too late. They should go and cue up in the hot sun with the thousands of their mates for a gmat test for that Oceanic job and take that time to think of what a priviledge it is to be doing what you love to do and making money at it. How many of those guys cueing would love to be dancing to sampled old tracks and getting paid for it………..shame!

HHWA Winners List 2008

Album of The Year – Asa
Artiste of the Year – Dbanj
Song of the Year – Yahoozee
Recording of the Year – Bibanke (Asa)
Best Music Video – DJ T (Stylee)
Best R&B/Pop Album – Grass to Grace
Best Rap Album – Ruggedy Baba
Best Dancehall – True Story (Timaya)
HHW Revelation – 9ice
HHW Next Rated – Wande Coal
Best Vocal Performance Male – 9ice
Best Vocal Performance Female - Asa
Best Rap Single – MI
Lyricist on The Roll – ModeNine
Best African Act – Batman (Ghana)
Best Collabo – Stylee
Producer of the Year – Cobhams Asuquo

Face Invader (Post 2)

2008-03-25T19:05:00.001+03:00

I have this enormous gigantic pimple on my face that’s on a mission to actually take over my entire face, mocking my smooth skin, “fine-girl-no-pimples” look. Why me? I mean there it was: just there. The first thing people see about my face, they’re like “wow, look at you…………” :o( I want this thing to go away jo! Can you imagine? It’s the largest thing I’ve ever had on my face throughout my life, and just when I think all the praying is coming to, another one springs up right next to it!!! I’m scared, how do I get rid of this thing now? Maybe it’s just the stress but jeez………..it needs to go o…

Whatever Love Means (Post 1)

2008-03-25T19:00:00.000+03:00

I was watching one of those numerous Biography channel programmes on the life of Prince Charles and they show that clip with him and Diana when a reporter asks them “I suppose you’re in love then?” Diana responds right away and says “Yes, of course!” and Prince Charles chimes in “whatever love means…” People say Charles was in love with Camilla even then and in the program I was watching a lady comes on and says “well, at 22,23 you just think oh well, you’ll find another love, not really knowing that that was it for great loves..”

How sad that was but it’s something I understand all too well. No, I don’t have that sort of fairy tale view of love because I know how tough and confusing and complicated true love is. A secret I carry with me and I suspect will carry with me every day of my life until the last is that I have loved deeply and have been loved deeply yet we two are not together. He is the closest person to me right now. I don’t know how to explain it or put into words but to accept it and not question it. One of the reasons Charles and Camilla’s story really resonates with me is that I can understand how a love endures when seemingly it shouldn’t have. The one lesson I know of real love, true love, is that it has no boundaries, you can’t put it in a little box, it can take on as many formats as life will let it but it will still endure. Charles and Camilla meet, they connect, she goes off and gets married and has kids, he goes off and gets married and has kids. Throughout this time they maintain a friendship even in their different marriages and somehow, somehow, 30 years later, they take the leap and get married. As old people. Ever wonder why? Charles certainly didn’t have to, Camilla probably was comfortable in her own life but they still did it. That’s because love endures.

I hold on to this. I’m not particularly sure why but I know that this love has gone from torrid to tempered, to slowly simmered. I love him through whatever and he loves me through whatever. Maybe that’s enough, as tragic as that seems, but maybe there’s a peace.

Fun Meme!!

2008-03-13T13:46:00.002+03:00

names i go by
Funmi, Funlola, Lola, Lolo, LollyT, Lola Junior, Lolita - note i don't actually like all these names so unless i've told u not to call me Lola, that's the best way to go. I've kuku warned u sha..

2 things i am wearing right now
my special bracelet, and my wig HAHAHAHA!!!

2 things i want to have in a relationship
Loads of laughter, loads of romance (why not?)

2 of my favorite things to do.
Hang out with friends, Dancing

two things i want really badly.
Nokia E61i
Apple IPhone - yes i want both. very badly. I also want the Nokia E90 Communicator or the Samsung G810 Phone. aaah, do i have to stop? i like this question.

2 pets i had or have..
My cat Lulu Chiquita
My sister's burriful siamese cat Shadow

2 things i did last nite.
Wrote some essays for a job
Chatted on the phone

2 things i ate last nite.
Ofada Rice and Peppered Stew yuuuuum!
Twix Chocolate Bar, weird combo hunh?

2 people i talked to
Chris
Mimi

2 things i am doin right now
Typing this
Wondering why they didn't start production on Eclairs??? ah well, na dem problem now lol!

2 longest car rides
Travelling from Toronto to Boston Greyhound style on that fateful day. A trip that's supposed to take like 8/10 hours took 18hrs with detention at immigration in between! don't ask....
Also my trips from Ottawa to Boston and vice versa those last days in college. Though I enjoyed it, there's nothing like the Quebec countryside.....so beautiful, so peaceful!

2 fav holidays..
Quebec City - during college
Not really a vac sha but staying at the Westin for Caribana in 2004! I love the westin soooo much, just sleeping in that bed with room service watching "American in Paris"....lovely!

fav beverages.
Moccacino, Cappucino, Espresso, Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee, Tim Hortons Iced Cap......aaah, Iced Cap, i miss Ottawa :o(

person no longer alive i'd like to talk to.
My Daddii Mr. Funsho "Chalingo" T! or rex chalingo...warreva!

Down Memory Lane!

2008-02-28T20:51:00.002+03:00

I remember Eduardo DePina Veiga. He was like my bestest bestest friend in high school. Like he is soooo totally cute enh? but apart from that so attentive, and nice, and ahhh...... lol. He's the one that even opened my hotmail account for me way back when!! How did I meet him gan?.....ehn ehn it was in Geography class. We had sitting plans and this cute boy was like my desk mate. I didn't even look at him that way cuz I sooo was NOT the cool chicks, I mean I wasn't like really bad but not like cheerleading or nothing like that. i was the girl who did Honor Society, 4-H, Key Club, ran for Class President sorta girl. But anyhoo, back to the story. So I didn't even like him like that (i think I liked the thuggish boy then who i'm sure sold weed and probably carried a gun, but again, i digress...........lol). Anyhoo, we sha just became fast friends. He used to walk home everyday which was like a good 30min walk, and it was my way so we just started walking home together. Forget the fact that my Mama bought me a bus pass, lol! We would just walk and talk and joke around and things like that you know. There was one particular day he asked me "What's your greatest fear", like deep ish like that we talked about. Eddie being my friend then meant sooo much to me. In high school, it's much easier to stick with the cool kids, but he (Mr. Fine Guy) didn't care about all that and we really were the best of friends.

Last time I saw Eddie was at the Randolph Cinema in randolph, massachusetts like 7 years ago. I was with my sis and her best friend walking out of a movie when my sis's best friend went, "ooh, who's that cute guy...?" so i turned and of course i was like "EDDIE!!!!" I think we exchanged numbers and talked once on the phone but then i don't know what happened. I'd love to see Eddie. We used to say 5 years after high school we'd find each other from wherever and hang out but that's come and gone. Eddie where art thou?

Misery Loves Company

2008-02-27T19:56:00.002+03:00

I'm just going to blab on and on here, there's probably not going to be any structure and it's probably going to be all jumbled up but alas.....

I think misery loves company. I think generally people like to see you down, to see you unhappy, to see you unfulfilled, to see you struggling, etc. I think the only people that think otherwise are your friends and family and that is exactly why they're your friends and family. And not even all of them at that.

Why is it that people are threatened by competence? by confidence? by focus?

Once everyone has a scapegoat is it easier to just join the fray and pick that person as a scapegoat as well? Is it very hard to be objective and to give everyone a fair chance? To want this is to want a fairy tale i think. Most people judge you. And they judge you against themselves, what they can achieve and what they haven't, and then they judge YOU against them. That's how they deal internally with their own issues. Get it?

I feel displaced right now. I feel alone on an island that i've worked all my life to build a bridge to. I like my island. I'm satisfied with my island. So why do I still feel bothered by the fact that I'm alone on this island? Hmmm, something to think about.

Well-behaved women never make history they say. Everyone celebrates them but do they ever celebrate themselves? Do they ever feel accomplished? I think of all the women that I admire and none of them are described as....................nice. In fact many a time, people would describe them as............thorny/bitchy, etc. Think about it. So do I then have to be bitchy to be successful as a woman? Can a "nice" woman ever make history? Ever be a rebel-rouser? Ever be a revolutionist? Even be a barrier breaker? Does the ceiling breaker suffer?

I feel at a crossroads of life.

I've realized that my goals are TOUGH goals. I never thought they would be this TOUGH. I never knew what the real sacrifices would be. To be so driven to want to be the best at this young age. I used to cut out pictures and articles of women who were tops in the business world. I used to idolize and dream of being these sorts of women. But behind those smiles and those power suits, are women who have sacrificed things we all consider important. All those women are ready to ruffle some feathers...........but ruffling feathers is not an easy job. Ruffling feathers is not an easy job.

I wish I could be satisfied with not being the best. I wish I could be satisfied with the prospects of not being successful.

But I can't.

I'm driven. It's a fire and I can't help it.

I'm at a crossroads. I have to decide.

HONESTLY.........

2008-02-16T15:36:00.003+03:00

So with lack of time for blogging, here's a meme i stole from Bobby and Mimi...

1. Honestly, are you in love right now?
No

2. Honestly, what color is your underwear?
Blue & Pink

3. Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
So much work to do, this blogger is a distraction

4. Honestly, what are you doing right now?
Answering this question, trying to finish up a report

5. Honestly, what did you do today?
Cleaned my room and came to work!

6. Honestly, do you think you are attractive?
Yeppers!

7. Honestly, have you done something bad today?
Nope! but it's only 1:30pm...

8. Honestly, do you watch Disney channel?
No

10. Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time?
Friends..........lazy sundays

11. Honestly, do you bite your nails?
Yes, it's a very bad habit and i'm trying to stop

12. Honestly, what is your mood right now?
Just chill......pensive

13. Honestly, who do you want to see at this very moment?
G.R.C.A

14. Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret?
No, not really

15. Honestly, do you hate someone right now?
Hate is a strong one but this one is bothering on that, i'm praying to God to help me cuz that's the only way I wont just burst out in expletives at him one day

16. Honestly, who/what do you want to hug right now?
No one really.

17. Honestly, do your wrists hurt?
Kinda, my left wrist

18. Honestly, are you in denial?
Very clear right now.........nope, not in denial

19. Honestly, wouldn't you rather be having sex right now?
Not really....

20. Honestly, is it easier to talk on Blogger than in person?
For some peeps yea but mostly no.

21. Honestly, does anyone like you?
Yea...............

22. Honestly, is it going anywhere with them?
Honestly, i don't know yet

24. Honestly, did you answer all these questions honestly?
I think so!

Let Me Clear The Air!

2008-02-07T15:24:00.000+03:00

ok...so it seems a few people in my comments page want to know if i've been koko'd by the kokomaster. Since they asked i'm sure there are a few more unspoken readers that are wondering....

NO, I HAVEN'T BEEN KOKO'D OH!!!!!

and no, i don't see it in my near future either! i'm just a blogger groupie who had an opportunity to meet the kokomaster and got excited about it. i don't know him like that o!

Thank You!
the management :o)

Coming up..

2008-02-05T18:25:00.000+03:00

Hello y'all! These are some of the blog topics running around in my head. I figured i'd write them down before i forget (which is usually what happens!):

Weighty Issues - chronicles of years of body issues, weight management, and losing 100lbs

Hope 2008: A new America - i'm tickled by the possibilities of a black president or a female president. can they really win the fight with republicans?

What's In A Name? - a revolt against changing the culture of calling people by initials in the workplace and calling people by their names!

I may gist and share a few more *secrets* along the way but let's see!

Ciao!

Ok...Ok..Just This Last Time

2008-02-04T17:42:00.000+03:00

ok, i'm sorry but i just have to blog about this. So i had a little get-together shindig at my place yesterday. started cooking from like 6am!, my cousins came, my friends came, and it was just good fun! had some curry goat, rice & peas (i was feeling jamaican what can i say!), meat balls, fried stew, stir fried vermicelli, lasagna, cake & custard, smoothies.....yummy!!! once in a while i like to cook a big meal and invite people to witness the fact that i can actually cook! cuz usually my house is spic and span and if u happen to just walk in (like naija peeps like to) the only thing you'll be having is water and maybe juice if you're lucky. if you're very lucky, you might get some peanut butter sandwich or some cereal!!! lol.

Anyhoo....soo my friend, the lovely and also very naughty Noble took me somewhere yesternight (no, nothing like that get your mind outta the gutta!). <<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>) yes, to DBANJ's house!!!!!! Because of this single event, i have learnt a few new things about myself and in general:

1. I am DEFINITELY a dbanj groupie
2. While i'm generally an okay hostess, i WILL abandon guests for a chance to hang out with said dude (i actually shocked myself with this one)
3. My shame levels are disturbingly low.
4. I don't really need to know you before jumping in the sack with you. (no i did not but i'm just saying...)
5. I now believe in love at first sight lol!

I think the more i feed this thing the bigger it grows which leaves me a bit worried but that's okay :o) One thing is though, i want to say i told u so to many peeps. While everyone was paying left right and center to go see his shows and stuff, i was so convinced that the first time i meet him truly, it would be like a one-on-one thingie not a mass giration and i was right!

Ok, i promise i won't mention dude's name on this blog again (this week - detox is 12 steps na...)

thanks for actually finishing this post lol!
Toodles

The More You Look, the Less You See

2008-01-31T18:31:00.000+03:00

I've been thinking lately, and i know what i'm about to write will disappoint some folks but ah well....it's part of the fabric that is moving back to nigeria. I've noticed lately that the little things that never used to bug me about lagos now annoy me to no end. You start to wonder, can these people EVER get it together???? Can Nigeria EVER get it together? Right among the fabric of our society is rudeness, hate, distrust, arrogance, corruption, inaccountability, selfishness. Now i'm not saying there aren't any good.......it's just that this post is about the bad so......

Last week I went to the dentist in this area i didn't know too well. So after pretty much like dental surgery (had to cut off part of my gums that had overgrown the tooth area....yeah WTF?), anyway, I was drugged up, just wearing out my anasthesia (sp?), so i see a bunch of guys (okada, aboki etc.) and i'm like let me ask for directions to the gate. Here's the convo:

ME: Ehrm, excuse me, please can someone tell me how to get to the get?
COLLECTIVE LOT: (nothing, they completely ignore me, one girl sorta shifts her eye so i figure i should ask her since the rest look like some hot shit is prickling their behind....)
ME: please which way is it to the gate?
GIRL: just go there (points to nowhere in particular) just keep going that way
ME: which way?
GUY FROM COLLECTIVE LOT: YOU, you're such a foolish girl, you no fit open ya mouth talk say good afternoon, dem no teach you well, look am.....psschew

NOW...tell me, what did i do to warrant such an abuse from an aboki wey no even know someone before? just dey rain abuse on top persin head...............I was sooooo angry. Why are people so mad just by looking at you? shooo......it AIN'T MY FAULT u sitting under the scorching sun watching someone's gate...jeez. Attitude determines altitude baby. Idiot man.

Anyway, i can't even think of any concrete other examples, the above just came to mind as to how on any good day the thought "why the hell am in this twilight zone?" can come up.
*****

Moving on.....funny thing happened on the way to work today. See, okada drivers are known to be especially reckless, forget about right of way and all that rubbish, okada riders no send, they'll come from the corner, from the left, from the right, from opposite directions, if they could jump on your car, they would. They break you side mirrors, your rear lights, your doors....pretty much anything and keep on trucking.

Anyway so this morning in front of the "TomTom Zebra Crossing" (wink*, wink*), an official was stopping traffic so a pedestrian could cross the very busy and dangerous road. The car in front (which was in front of the car i was in) sha stopped. A shiny new VW Audi with tinted windows and this mean looking dude inside. That's how the okada dude didn't stop sha and just rammed into the back of the VW with two other okadas following suit, of course the back lights just fell in pieces to the ground with this spiral spring thingie hanging out......KAI!!! GBESE!!! so that's how the driver door just opened and i SWEAR one shaquille looking but fatter and uglier mean mugging man just stepped out...................SHEGE!!! the person on the back of the okada just fastly jumped off and started walking fast the other way.......I LAUGH TIRE. you shoulda seen the face of the okada dude....LOL. Big Giant Man, just looked at him real mean and said "oya, to the side, to the side..." kai, i wanted to watch oh!!! but i was already late for work.....

*****

One thought: NIGERIA vs. GHANA ---------->what do u think?
Second though: NY GIANTS vs. NE PATRIOTS ---------> sixth superbowl appearances, 3 superbowl championships, BRING HOME THE FOURTH BABY!!!!!!!!!!! GO PATS!!!!!!
*********

ah.....let me leave y'all with this pic of my adorable, adorable, sweetheart. i love this girl sooo much ehn? she's my cousin's baby, and i'm thinking if i can love someone else's kid this much, then mothers must be really trying oh! :o)

Two Favorite Things

2008-01-25T12:19:00.000+03:00

So I entered Bastard's car and this loud wonderful music just hit me, hit all my senses. So beautiful, so soulful, so sensual....so African, so Yoruba. I was amazed. So I ask Bastard who this is and he says "Asa.....blah blah blah (he's a bit prone to TMI - too much info)". I've heard about her before and had an opportunity to hear her once, she was supposed to be before Soul-E or something like that but we got there late, so i think we missed her (can't really remember). I'd even heard and seen the video for "Fire On a Mountain" and while i liked the song i wasn't like....blown away. So can this really be the same girl?!?!?! I'm thinking all of this and Bastard bursts into my thoughts..."hear this, this is the best part..." and he sings at the top of his lungs

Mo ti f'oro me f'Oluwa
Ko so, ko so wa
Mo ti f'oro me f'Oluwa
Ko so, ko so wa

Iwo, Iwo nikan soso
Iwo, Iwo nikan soso........

Track #3, Bibanke. Simply fabulous! The words to the song, the arrangements, the producers. Cobhams Asuquo, who is blind by the way, is just a musical genius is Nigeria's version of Quincy Jones, or Ray Charles and he produced all of Asa's tracks. Bibanke's words are so simple, but so poignant, and meaningful. And then listening to the tracks, I took a second listen to "Fire on the Mountain" and the lyrics........are something else. I can't really talk to much on this girl because there's no other way to put it but amazing. As a songwriter, I've always had some trouble with Yoruba in songs and respected those who can sing with the language beautifully (Angelique Kidjo for one) because the intonations are so hard to flow with melodically (if that's a word!) but Asa just constructs it so seemingly effortlessly and beautiful. Listen to Track #8 - Awe. That's a good example.

Anyhoo...i can go on and on and on about this woman but I read someone say this is Nigeria's best chance at getting a Grammy and I'm so there, if she's not Grammy worthy I don't know who is!!!

Just finished reading “The Mrs. Club” by Ekene Onu. A Nigerian female writer who proudly describes her book as chick lit and chick lit it definitely is; the first of its kind in Nigeria (that I know of anyway). The books is basically about three different Nigerian women who happen to be friends and living in Atlanta, Georgia. The first one Titi, is unmarried but determined to be soon and to a rich, successful, and handsome man to boot! Amaka is a slightly chubby unmarried who is essentially a goody-goody who believes in all the romance of life and love, and Mina is the only married lady out of the three. She married only for financial security and status.

The book follows these three women along their journey into reclaiming a good part of their lives and who they are and I must say the book is SOOOOOO good. It is supposed to be coming out in February 2008 at your nearest Amazon.com (lol) and other bookstores soon so watch out for it.

Thing is I went to the book launch (coordinated by the wonderful bobby) first before I read the book so maybe that biased me but I did find the book powerful. When Ekene was answering some of her questions during the launch she mentioned that she had many motives in writing the book. One of the ones she mentioned that stuck with me was that us women don’t really tell our true stories on our journeys on either side of the mrs. Club so she wanted to give voice to some of those experiences and she was so on point with that. I don’t think any woman that has read the book can say she doesn’t know one or two girls that those same things have happened to! Even I, hmmm….Amaka’s story has happened to me just exactly like that (save one key thing that I won’t mention to spoil it for y’all) but believe me just like that. And who doesn’t know a Titi and Dele story? Especially in this Lagos? Abeg……in fact I had heard a story of one famous Nigerian first lady (ex now) who was the Karen Omoruyi in the story so…

Us women we try o! Kai…truth is, it’s important to know thyself and stay focused!

It's Don Jazzy Again!

2008-01-23T13:30:00.000+03:00

my people, you need to help me o! (lamide shut up) My new crush is Dbanj!

In fact, i don't know if it's so much a crush or what. My old school readers will know that i had a crush on WildChild, then Ebuka, then Snazz of Aijuswanarite. But this one is quite different. Some have called it an obsession, some have even labelled me a groupie! But that's okay, it's okay y'all............i forgive you.

All those gems that he has added to the nigerian lexicon (i should stop all this big grammer if i'm hoping to connect with him one day lol), such as "why you, why me?", "no long ting", "things a ma run down", "if you're still sitting down you're on a LOOOOOOOOOONG ting!", "file! don't tossh it" and my new favorite, "file! leave my ish alone"................LOL. Just brilliant. LOL.

At the Future Awards, the minute Dbanj came in i'm like......."EHEN...no long ting". he now came to sit like right in front of my view so i'm like even berra, nice pic and e'rything, that was before our dear and darling Noble (i say dear cuz everyone loves them some NOBLE!) came to sit right in my view, next to Dapo, blocking my perfect pic view :o( alas...........la struggle continua.....

I'm not sure the very lovely BOBBY knows about this history before offering innocently offering a chance to actually meet Dapo. Alas...i think she has realized it now after like the 5th text message....lol. But i forgive u Bobby! nothing breaks the massachusetts/canada bond....not even the Mo'Hits crew!!!

AH....was gonna gist about the Future Awards, but this just came over me, whew! I'll blog soon about some of my new favorite things!
Ciao ma bebes!

Letting It Go...

2008-01-07T14:16:00.000+03:00

I found the following on Bobby's blog and found it very moving.

LET IT GO….TD JAKES
There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you,staying attached to you.
I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you,you can' t make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person,it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over.
Let me tell you something I've got the gift of good-bye.
It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.
It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!
If you are holding on to somethingthat doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life,then you need to ..LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ...LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ...LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge ..LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ...LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs ortalents ...LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude...LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a newlevel in Him...LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to helpthemselves..LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed .LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it,' then you need to...LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2008 !!!LET IT GO!!!
Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then LET IT GO!!!
'The Battle is the Lord's!'

There are many things i want to let go in 2008. I've developed this bad habit of holding on to things, people that i'm absolutely sure are ready to go. I try to think of why and the only thing i can come up with is that since moving to lagos, and not having anything that is "familiar" around me, anybody or thing that I've let close becomes so precious to me. I don't know sha.....So in 2008, I want to start taking care of me again, loving and enjoying me again. The door is WIDE open........

Merry New Year Again!

2008-01-03T18:21:00.000+03:00

All my readers, i've missed you so i swear it! It's gotten so bad now that people have now started to abuse me lol. I want to say my bad and all that but MAHN MI, if you know all the drama i've been going through....first I was studying for my GMAT (which i'm taking again), then looking for a j-o-b, then my job that i do have now just went BONKERS, then i almost went postal, then Christmas and the holidays came along with its drunken stupor and all of a sudden everything is alright again....whew! I'm telling you, ish was crazy.....

So...........to make everyone happy i decided i was going to change my layout but i can't decide between this template and another one i'll set up in like a week. Anyone that sees both please tell me which one you like most. I thought myself html back in like 2001 so the formatting the whole thing is getting on my nerves. Sha i like this one cuz sunflowers are my favorite flowers but the other one is cool too, well you get my point now...

SECRET
ok, i'm gonna share a secret with y'all. As i mentioned up there lotsa crazy things have been happening lately and I think in 2008, i'm gonna be asking y'all's opinion on lots of stuff. So part of the rough times were from work where for the first time in my life I had a direct boss who was just absolutely impossible - i say "was" cuz we're so past duking it out that now everyone is just chill in their own little corner. I mean can anyone say (micro-paranoid manager?!?!?) - again it's okay for me to write this here cuz BELIEVE me we've been past alla.....anyway so everyone kept on telling me to "manage my boss" and I swear I tried but the guy I think just had it in for me and I could just see my career going down the drain......it got so bad that one day after one spat like this i was so livid and marched right up to my director and as i was talking........................................i just started to feel this wet stuff on my cheeks. I swear it. I. wanted.to.die! In my entire life i've always thought of myself as the utmost professional woman, an example showing all those businesswoman stereotypes where wrong and here I am, crying, in my directors office.

I think I learnt so much from that incident though, one, now i know why some women may get so frustrated and angry and the tears just flow, and two, i will NEVER EVER EVER do that again.

So what do you guys think about business women crying in the office place?

ANOTHER SECRET
ok, let me share another story with you. this one is not so much a secret but hey, i'd like to hear your opinions still. So as i think i've blogged about before, in the Lagos "scene" everybody kinda knows each other, or at best people roll around in clicks. Anyway i've known this guy, let's call him Prince, i've known Prince for a bit, but on one particular day sha we just clicked and everything an started talking and hanging out quite a bit. I kid you not, that same like weekend a girlfriend of mine texts me that I should leave Prince alone that he has a girlfriend and is getting married in December. So I'm like, ok, tell me more about the situation but i got nothing more. I do a little more investigating and the people that I know that know him where like "uhm, nope, nothing no girlfriend" so i'm like aiiight, let's continue. I ask Prince repeatedly and dude is like "those people don't know me like that, they don't know my ish like that, no girl no marriage, if you're gonna be with me, then it's me and you, not me you and your girlfriends and this is all i'm ever going to say about this issue." So I drop it kinda.

Sha unfortunately in a couple months, Prince had to move abroad. Fine. We still kept in touch by phone and all that so i'm happy enough anyway. Fated December comes around and Prince is indeed in Lagos and of course not a wedding in site. Fine. Prince and I go out with friends and everyone is all liquored up so I ask Prince's best friend about it and dude is telling me, at top of voice mind you, "Dude has a girlfriend, just leave him alone, if y'all just wanna be friends with benefits then sure but nothing else is ever gonna come out of it." I kid you not.

Question is.....what do you guys think? what should i do? what would you do? keep in mind that i really like dude and dude has been kind to me.

Ok..............enough secrets for now. I hope those of you that have been abusing me are ok now, lol! Oh, I made the longlist for the Future Awards 08!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks to anyone that went to the site and voted for me. I'll keep you guys posted. Tomorrow i'll add pics to the Nominee Party.
Ciao!

Happy New Year!!!!

2008-01-02T19:01:00.000+03:00

I'm trying to refresh my blog and looking for a new template and getting lost in HTML.....STAY TUNED!

Toodles!

Disappearing Me Softly...

2007-10-18T13:02:00.000+03:00

So much to blog about this time, i hope i can remember it all. I can across this post:
Disappearing Me Softly and it touched me so. And to find out that this man was currently a professor at Carleton University in Ottawa (Ottawa U's little brother university hehehe....), I was so proud of what he wrote. In my final year in university I decided to take an Intro to Feminism course. The course was very interesting as we talked about everything from hegemony to gender and minority discrimination, etc. However I noticed that within the discourse of feminism African women were conspicuously absent, and even more so African women were completely "disappeared". Because of my own history and my familiarity of African Feminism in particular, I kept on trying to challenge the class's thoughts on what exactly is Feminism but to no avail and I was outnumbered to say the least! My only way of fighting back was my final thesis paper for the class in which I decided to explore African Feminism in particular. My professor just didn't get it. Even after including works from African Women, she just could not understand. There was a particular phrase that I highlighted which was that african women were never interested in bra burning, afterall traditionally, they've always worked outside of the home, trading etc. African women were fighting another battle, who do the children belong too? My husband's property is my property not his extended family's? Widowhood....Education...........Alas, these struggles where never relevant to Western Feminism so they just chose to ignore it, "disappear" it. Very sad.........

NEXT UP
I'm just reading this stuff on new york times -
"Blacks are Inferior" and I can tell you i'm no more prouder to be African than I am at this moment. I first had a discussion like this believe it or not with an AFRICAN person, more or less a Nigerian man. He really and truly believed that white people, or people of European descent must be more intelligent than Africans in Science, Management and Leadership. His whole thing was that different races have different gifts so African were gifted in music, dance, arts while the chinese are gifted in technology, engineering, maths, while European people are gifted in Strategic thinking and the sciences. He said to me that why is it that it is the Europeans that were curious and wanted to explore the world? Why didn't Africans invade and colonize Europe? Not only that, but we welcomed and HELPED these guys when they landed on our shores. Even though I disagreed with him, I never could come up with an argument that would absolve all his questions, so I just shook my head and told him, "you know you're wrong right?" I wasn't sure how exactly to prove to him that he was suffering from "kolomentality" but I knew he must have been.

I wanted to read the above article with an open mind. Could there really be scientific evidence about all of this? Was it being repressed because of the social consequences? The researcher inside of me is thinking of all the possible biases that can go into any such scientific studies i.e, if you don't allot for all the environmental/developmental influences how can you come to such a conclusion? Also, if a Nigerian person for example, came to the "scientific" conclusion that "Oyinbos" were mugus because of the many evidences of them falling for 419 pranks, or that they can go to the market and pay N1000 for something that an African would pay N50 for, would that research be valid? or is this particular argument relevant at all? I think my final conclusion is that it all depends on who's deciding what intelligence is?

LASTLY
The Future Nigeria Awards season is on again! As many of you may know, I was graciously nominated for an award last year in the "Professional of the Year" category. Though I didn't win (Modupe Adefeso of YDNX won.......but she's outta town *hint*hint*) it was such an honor and I had such a FABULOUS time with FABULOUS people. So...........let's do it again this year! I think i'm promising myself I won't nominate myself (since i'm still thinking that's weird?) but I will enjoin, PLEAD, BEG, ASK NICELY..............all you wonderful readers of my blog to take a minute of your time and NOMINATE! NOMINATE! NOMINATE! me at the future nigeria website: www.thefuturenigeria.com

GOD WILL BUTTER ALL YOUR BREADS. AMEN.

All the Beautiful People

2007-10-05T11:57:00.000+03:00

Hello Hello Hello!!!!!!

It's been a long time
Shouldn'ta left you
Without a dope beat to step to...

Yes, i'm a dork, and you know what? it's okay! lol! what's up beautiful people (or person, depending on who's still reading my blog lol) My god, it's been a while since i've blogged. At first there was nothing new to blog about and then all of a sudden i became very busy at work, at home, in relationships, everything just happening at once. Things have let up a little so i'm stealing the time while my boss is in a meeting to run through a post mad quick!

While on break though, i've been pondering on what i call the Beautiful Peeps of Lagos. It seems like there's like an underground clique of guys and dolls that know each other and apparently are the people to know. You see them everywhere and they are behind all the happenings and control everything (that is, everything that young people could be interested in cuz let's not play dangote and otedola control EVERYTHING, hehehe) and they all also know themselves so don't make the mistake of thinking you can just fool anyone. How did I come across all this? I'm a facebook addict. YES, my name is Lola and I'm a facebook-a-holic (Sade if you're reading, you definitely are the chairperson of this group!) I think the Beautiful Peeps clique of Lagos all meet and organize themselves on facebook. Before Blogger used to be the shit amongst this crowd but now it's FACEBOOK! I wonder if there are Beautiful Peeps cliques clustered all around Lagos or this is it? It's such an incestuous place, this Lagos.......

Oh, if anyone has their Sundays free around 3pm or 6pm, why not take the time and visit Terra Kulture for the Theatre at Terra series produced by Wole Oguntokun, or our dear LasPapi. A society that pays attention to the development of the arts is a society cares about its people and its culture. Also, lets support our drama and theatre community in Lagos, it gives an avenue for our youth to express themselves and their creativity. So hope to see you there!

Oh the Randomness....

2007-08-29T17:46:00.000+03:00

There's actually someone saved on my phone as Bastard. No we're not fighting or anything but there's nothing that seems more appropriate for me to call him but that, lol. If i'm scrolling down and thinking of calling him, just seeing that, reminds me to back the F off, or if caller id shows him calling, i know not to get carried away by any of it...........lol. I think if he knew he'd actually be quiet upset he's in my phone as bastard, hehehe.

*******

I saw Lola Omotayo in an industry mag, as part of an ad for the agency she works for. I couldn't believe that she's actually dating Peter of P-Square, one would think their world seems quite far apart. I wonder how they met and started to actually date, as opposed to just flirting. That's like me interacting with DBanj as part of work (i wish, lol!) and then just hitting it off. I wonder what her colleagues would have said and if they talked behind her back! I hear she's a hot cookie though, as in, she's quite good at her job, so kudos to her!

********

A contestant on the Gulder Ultimate Search show recently died during taping in a drowning accident. Nigerian Breweries which makes Gulder has recently given the family N20 million naira as part of compensation. However what I don't get is that the show is still going ahead with the reality show. I'm not sure this would have happened in America. It's interesting though as i'm wondering what the boy's mother must be thinking through all of this...she lost her only son and now here's this bags load full of money, i'm sure unfathomable money for her. Knowing Nigerians and suspicion, would she spend it? would she wish it all away for the presence of her son? Would she have moments of secretly relishing the money?

********

The record industry in Nigeria is growing indeed however is it sustainable? An artist whom you would have paid N5mil previously, they would have come in for negotiations, you guys would laugh and joke and get to know each other and build a relationship with the company, but now...........record companies come in as artist managements and charge N10mil and play hard to catch on the phone. Business is not always about the bottomline, especially in this business. I know we now have savvy people who spent the better parts of their lives in New York, Paris, London, watching P.Diddy and trying to learn everything from his moves, but not all those things are readily adapted here, the ages of the industries are too different. In the beginning back in those places, building relationships was key. We've lost that.......i hope it works out sha, but for i'm starting to see that rather than spend N10 mil on ONE artist, marketing dollars is better spent elsewhere.

******

WOMAN: officer please i own the car, my son was just driving it.
LAGOS POLICEMAN: ok, madam so what do you want me to do?
WOMAN: officer, please release him
LAGOS POLICEMAN: (irate) so now you're telling me what to do?!?!?

true story.

****************

Ok, toodles! I know this is random ish, but i tried to warn y'all beforehand!!!

Indecent Dressing & An Ode to Abuja

2007-08-14T11:08:00.000+03:00

No.......the two topics surprisingly are not related! Let me start with the first one. I'm sure many of you in blog world now know that Lagos is under siege fanatics and fascists. In fact maybe I should do a post later on the parallels of Nigerian culture today and fascism, but that'd be another time. The topic of the day is the supposed "law" that was given to police officers to enforce which is that they are to arrest people for indecent dressing and thugs. Now they say they are trying to get rid of prostitutes and armed robbers, but we all know better. Which kind of law is enforced without parameters and without communication to the citizenry that it affects? What this means is that any police officer is allowed to subjectively decide what dressing is decent and indecent. From my experiences (which i will highlight) and those of others (Funmi Iyanda) it is really my conclusion that these guys harass women based simply on whether they get a hard on or not. The hard-on test.

I can't even begin to state how angry and upset this whole thing makes me because really the depth of it is beyond words. But really, I have to confess that i'm not surprised. We live in a society where everyday women are undervalued and maltreated and we say nothing so how can we be surprised that something like this should happen? A society where a widow gets kicked out of house and home after her husband dies with nothing, or is "inherited" by her in-laws, a society where women are always subservient to the men around them, a society where women are told they are nothing without marriage, without children, a society where there's really no such thing as spousal abuse, a society where women do not have a voice. These are everyday things and we say nothing so now it has come to this. Women are harassed for wearing pants in Lagos. For wearing a tank top in Lagos. for showing their collarbone in Lagos. For just being. I'm waiting to see if we all will still do nothing. Martin Luther King Jr. said something, he said "Injustice against one man is injustice against all mankind" (or something like that). Basically it means whenever we sit, men and women, and say well it's not me so I'm not going to do anything, one day it will come and meet us at our doorsteps.

Last week I was harassed TWICE on the same day by police men on the streets of Lagos. I was wearing a pantsuit with two layers under the jacket. The first incident was right in front of my office. I was waiting for a taxi and two KAI officers (Kick Against Indiscipline) started shouting at me that they were going to arrest me. Me thinking it CANNOT be me they're talking to, turned to look back. The guy now yells YES YOU, I'M GOING TO ARREST YOU, ALL OF YOU PEOPLE. So I just gave him a look and looked away, but still I was fuming. The second incident was myself coming from the island to the mainland at 9:30pm. The police officer at the road block stops the car and tells the driver to park.

HE: where are you coming from
ME: my friend's house
HE: at this time of the night?
ME: yes, is there a problem there?
HE: don't you know it's too late for you to be out?
ME: really? is there a law against that? is there a curfew in Lagos?
HE: get out of the car
ME: i'm not getting out of anything
HE: where do you work?
ME: (name) plc
HE: where's your id card?
ME: (showed it to him thankfully i had it with me)
HE: why are you out at this time walking around like you own yourself
ME: (laughing increduosly) please abeg who owns me?
HE: you should not be out at this time, don't you know you're a woman, if you were a man yes, but a woman, it's not right.
ME: (sensing that this man's problems are too numerous to start on right now) thank you very much enh? can i go now?

He finally let me go but I couldn't believe that I lived in this country right at that minute. I'm more convinced than ever that it is people's minds and perceptions that we need to change and it's a big battle that we can no longer put off. Everyone should be playing their part lest the problem gets bigger. Us young men and women, we should be at the forefront of this battle.

Now to Abuja
One of my earliest posts, I wrote about how I love abuja, and truly I do. I was in abuja over the weekend for the wedding of a friend and I fell in love with the city all over again. Any one that has a job in Abuja open, abeg hook a sister up! That city is beautiful and quiet and peaceful.

Back to Abuja Airport :o(

Myself and Timi (Winner of West African Idols)

Interestingly one can say Abuja is more conservative than Lagos is but people are not getting harassed in Abuja. When they were rounding up prostitutes in Abuja they went to the spots they usually are and actually rounded them up from there not harassing innocent women who are going about their own business. Funnily, at Abuja airport a woman comes up to me and says that she really appreciates the way I dressed and she thanks me for not exposing myself. My people, i was wearing a short (above the knee) string halter neck dress but with a small cute bolero type thingy. In Lagos I would have been arrested for indecent dressing i'm sure - just to confirm that the lagos fascists are crackers!

Big Brother How I Love Thee

2007-08-06T17:09:00.000+03:00

big brother
big brother
how i love thee
no more waiting for grey's
jacob's cross can have its slot
no more flipping from channel o
to mtv base for 2005 punk'd
big brother
big brother
how i do love thee

Ok, ok, I never caught the Big Brother Nigeria (BBN) thing cuz quite frankly it was wack. West African Idols didn't take my fancy either as it equally was wack, topped up by the beefy, sweaty, no camera presence personality of Mike Magic (or whatever). Don't even get me started on Deal or No Deal Nigeria as watching John Fasanu actually makes my ear bleed and induces suicidal tendencies. But yesterday, yesterday, I broke down and finally watched Big Brother Africa (BBA) more because I had actually applied for the sucker and didn't get picked so was wondering who in the world would make better tv (that babe is too boring jo!). Yes, you can actually read that again, I applied, ehn ehn so what? lol. There's a part of me that gets irresistably drawn to these crazy stunts, I mean how many people in the world can say they were a BB housemate?

Anyway, I'm loving the thing sha. The people (see Bella's post) are just plain ridiculous. There's something fascinating about watching all kinds of personalities interact, especially from different countries too! I think my fav's are Kwaku from Ghana and Max (from wherever!) since they're the sexiest, lol. It was funny to me how from the get, the Tatiana girl from Angola just fashied her so-called boyfriend. Kai! And i'm sure she's trying to make the short man her bitch, mark my words! One thing that shocked me though since i never watched any of the BBs was the shower scene!!!!! as in, seriously oh, they were showing tatas everywhere, i couldn't believe that they do this. I don't think the one in America does that oh! I was shocked, just absolutely shocked ke?!? as in cameras in the shower showing everything oh, no be like say dem get blind screens oh? hmmm...when everyone was shouting shower hour, shower hour, that's how i was thinking that wetin dey there sef? until i saw with my korokoro eyes....

Anyhoo....keep shining sha...in other news...

Do You Think We Have Slaves?
Something's been bothering me lately and I wondered what other's take on it would be. Let me give you a scenario:

1. Someone strolls into the office in the morning carrying his newspaper under his arm, his minion walks behind him, carrying the man's laptop bag.

2. One small boy comes to meet his oga in the office but sits around for hours outside before the oga comes in and then when he calls the small boy from across the compound, he sends him to go wash his cup, or walk to the next building to fetch a paper or something.

Now my thing is, for number 1, why can't you carry your own damn laptop bag from your car to your desk? all of 5min walk?

are these people slaves? seriously...

True Love Scans

2007-07-26T17:20:00.000+03:00

Just a quick one (largely for the benefit of my sis!), here's the evidence of my True Love affair. The first one is the "interview" if you will, the second is the apology that's running in this month's issue, the third is the contents page of this month's issue that has a little baby pic of me in it.

No, i'm not vain at all! LOL.

By Fire By Force...LOL

2007-07-25T14:23:00.000+03:00

Wow, what a week (or two weeks) I’ve had! Since I’ve returned from my vacation I noticed that many things just weren’t right. Something was off, with work, with my friends, with everything, it was just all off! I was so confused and conflicted. I was even thinking that maybe things were this bad before but I just didn’t see it cuz I was so anxious for a break, to visit my friends and family. But I knew really that that wasn’t it. Some things were different. People were reacting to me differently. So just intuitively I stepped up my prayers. Since I didn’t know what it was and I don’t think I’ve been acting differently, I just started to really pray to God to protect me first of all, to open my eyes to see these things that ordinarily you wouldn’t see, to give me the mind the correct any wrongdoings on my part, and to stand up for me where I can’t stand up for myself. In my heart I just kept praying that God should reveal the source of all these things that I thought strange. People that I cared about and held quite close to me where just behaving strangely towards me u know.

Not to go into too much details cuz you know this IS the internet, but let’s just say God answers prayers. Not everyone is who you think they are, and we all just have to be very vigilant. Some people will laugh in your face but in their hearts they are harboring envy, greed, hate, and whatever else you may have, talking behind your back, fueling idle gossip about you. And others still are harboring so much insecurity and let downs from their past and want you to carry it all on your own head so they won’t have to deal with it personally. Anybody who brings negativity into your life or who diminishes your worth or dismisses your person, abeg, their presence in your life needs to be re-evaluated.

I thank God that I’m in a place in my life now where I am grounded enough in who I am that these things don’t affect me in the way they would have in the past. I just brush it off and keep moving. I’m glad that I’m rooted in great family and friends.

What a week indeed! Like I said on my facebook, I’m really too gangsta for all this ish……if you don’t know u berra ASK SOMEBODY

PS - Several Intereting News Items
I read of a very interesting development in this entire "Oyo politics" saga. For those that don't know i'll give you a much collapsed version, basically, there's an old man in Oyo Chief Adedibu who is the ultimate godfather, and strongman of politics in Oyo. He is as we can guess PDP. Now there've been all kinds of story about intense thuggery, control of the State Senate (he's said to be behind the less than a day trial and impeachment of Governor Ladoja), stealing of ballot boxes, etc. He's son-in-law and I think nephew "won" a political position in the last elections. Anyway, the new Olubadan of Ibadan issued a directive yesterday that forbids anybody in his council to participate in politics. Basically he said you're either a traditional ruler/chief or your a politician, you can't be both or you loose your title. Which means people like Chief Adedibu have to decide what they want to be, answerable to only one mandate, and stop corrupting the system. I applaud this kind of progessive thinking by the Olubadan of Ibadan. Maybe now our historical systems of chiefdom et al can be restored instead of being bought or used as a pun for getting contracts.

The second news item of course is the burning issue of NYSC deployment for 2007. Apparently NYSC authorities have said that there's not enough budget for 2007 for all graduates so they are only mobilizing about 2/3 of all eligible graduates, leaving about 70,000 students hanging until next year. Now in Nigeria as we all know, you can't work until you've done you're NYSC so i'm just wondering for example, what these 70,000 f-ing people are supposed to do for the next f-ing YEAR! For example, LASU said it has over 2000 grads eligible, but NYSC has only allocated 800 spots for them the other 1200 peeps have to go F themselves. Now tell me these NYSC people have a clue.....

Thirdly, this Yar'adua thing is serious oh! He summoned the NYSC dude to Aso Rock sharp sharp, he apparently is committed to building Lagos as it is "the economic nerve centre of Nigeria", he reversed the sale of refineries, he's reviewing the allocation of oil blocks, most of his ministerial appointees are college educated!!! Don't let me down Yardy!

Whew! ok i'm done...

This Food is for White People

2007-07-19T16:47:00.000+03:00

Hello my distinguished fellow bloggers, bloggees, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls...I wrote a mail today that goes thus:

"I don't think it is right to tell me that this kind of food is only for the whites in modern day Nigeria"

As I sat writing the letter, I was thinking that never in my life did i think I was going to write such a letter, and worse, to have it all be about food! But alas, here I am. Here's the place my company has put me. For some reason food in the cafe is divided into two levels. First level is beans and plaintain, semo and okoro etc, - mass produced, like jail cell food (u know, think serving gruel in a jail), and then there's the second level which is fried brown rice with szechuan chicken, spaghetti and marinara sauce etc - served with fresh vegetables, etc. First level drinks ice block water (think ice block sold to keep soft drinks warm), second level gets bottled water. Current policy is..................First level is apparently for black people (i.e Nigerians - as long as ur name is Buki, ChiChi or Halima, u're in first level regardless of if your father is Bill Clinton), Second level is apparently for white people. They actually told me this. My thing is if I go to England what will the oyinbo give me to chop? eba and efo? or sandwhich and salad? They certainly won't tell me this food is for black people!

Anyway....I'm having faith though since i've finally complained about it, it will change soon sha....

Secondly, let me take the time to apologize for not updating or anything else. The computer has been absolutely down for the last week. It's working sporadically now so i'm using the opportunity to try and get this in.

Week's been crazy though, going through all kinds of emotional rollercoasters that I think life is just trying to fuck with me just for laughs. I mean seriously shady ish happening that the probability of them happening beforehand was very very low. It could all be chunked up to coincidence but hmmm..........this is nigeria so i'm just extra prayerful now cuz u sha never know..............lol!

Anyway, if I can scan my interview from career file in true love I will do so and post it here asap. Found out that it's Lola Hassan from Virgin Nigeria's pic that included with my piece and mine may come out with her interview next month, if it does then i'll scan my pic along! stay fabulous y'all.

Ciao!

Ok, so.........

2007-07-11T12:24:00.000+03:00

So i haven't blogged like i said i was going to. So sue me! Vacation is finally over and i must say i'm tres triste :o( I can hardly believe that the time flew by so fast but alas, work beckons and i must heed its horn blaring signal. So let me just quickly give a synopsis of what's going on:

ThisDay Music Fest
Lots of people are going on this bad boy, i just don't think i'll be going sha. The line up sounds fantastic and all and seems they took care of the N100,000 paying, sitting in white picnic chairs in a crowded area problem that really didn't do it for me last year, but I don't know........What i'm really wanting is anyone who knows the deal on where Ne-Yo and John Legend will be either staying or partying so i can go stalk them.........yeah, there's no shame in my game oh! If i come back with a little yellow John Legend baby won't y'all come to my baby shower?!?! na so.....

Comments
I noticed recently that i've been slacking in responding to comments left on my blog. I apologize for that oh! I really just didn't notice that I had stopped responding so I'll make more of an effort now. Afterall I wanna thank y'all for stopping by no?

Final Showdown at Work
I've been blogging for some time now that there's so much going on at my workplace and there's some sort of restructuring that we were all waiting for? well, that took place the day before my vac. So now i have a new job title and all, still not sure what that means.......i don't think it's bad, in fact i quite like it and it's in line with what i actually consider myself to be but still, it's weird. I am also now in a new unit which I'm not so sure how it will function. All this i have to look forward to as the work week begins for me after my hiatus.....i have to say though that I have a new/ refreshed way of looking at all this stuff now. Don't sweat the small stuff, stay your ground, and show results!

Lagos v. Boston
So as my mom and I were heading to the airport, I start to lament about why oh why can't nigerians (lagosians) just act like civilized humans instead of wild animals? i mean, americans aren't better than nigerians, so how come they follow rules? how come they don't have 5 lanes of cars going in one direction on a road clearly demarcated as a two way, one lane each? it don't make no sense to me. Anyhoo, so my mom then suggests that maybe someone should direct a documentary and show it on CNN called "How Crazy People Live"............ I just burst out laughing at that!!! so any directors out there want to take the mantle?

What Are You Doing?
There's been someone in my life since I was 19. He's been my best friend and confidant for almost all that time. When I was younger he wanted to take our relationship to the next level and me being so young at the time, I was scared, afraid, and unfocused so I gave all kinds of excuses. Still I always thought we would somehow get married. How could we not? Anyhoo, dude tells me recently that he's thinking of proposing to his girlfriend. I don't know how to deal with this or how to handle it.... I know I made a mistake and he's the good guy that got away but I was young at the time....I think i'm gonna get drunk and cry uncontrollably the day he actually tells me he's engaged....

Great Loves
which leads me to this question.....I was having a conversation with someone recently and they mentioned that so and so person was the great love of another person's life and that got me thinking, even though i'm still young, do I really have someone I can consider the great love of my life? Certainly there are people that are quite significant in my life, but THE great love? It's a hard question but i'm not married so that gives me hope that perhaps my great love is still in the future! how about you, who's the great love (romantic love) of your life?

Whew! see what a few extra hours at an airport will do for you?

Seven Things Meme

2007-07-01T16:06:00.000+03:00

1. I HATE cockroaches. with a passion. I don't understand and can never understand why God had to create those monstrous weird looking things. I mean think about it, they're like weird giant bugs, and some of them can fly! And it's like there's nothing I can do they just keep coming back. I can fumigate like a million times and everything will be fine but give it a couple of weeks those DAMN things are back. One day, i'll invent a permanent end to their existence, worldwide.

2. I've dated someone much older than me and i've dated someone younger than me. It's not like i'm one of those age ain't nothing but a number people but I'll get to meet someone and then their personality takes over and i'm thinking to myself, ok, so i'll miss out of experiencing this person. I don't know i just don't think that age (don't worry there are some limits!) is a good enough reason not to date someone you otherwise like.

3. Strangely, most of my cousins are male. I just realized that now. And they're all tall and imposing (think 6'1+). Whenever we all get together (which is not often enough) everyone's towering over me and speaking in very loud tones (we can be obnoxious trust me)and i feel quite....little. Even my little (ok, younger) brother who's like 6'2 and medium build is now looking like my older bro. I always find myself having to yell to make my point!

4. I don't think i've ever had a "proper" boyfriend. For one, i've never lived in the same city as anyone i'm dating so that kinda always puts a damper on things. Yes, i'm finally admitting this but i don't think i'm alone either. I think the serial "boyfrienders" are in the minority, u know the ones that you'll always see them with Tope or John, and they are so committed to the teeth. I've always dated but not really that boyfriend boyfriend thing. Interesting no?

5. I don't eat red meat. No lamb or goatmeat or nothing. I actually used to be a vegetarian (pesco vegetarian i think, the ones that eat fish and animal by-products like eggs, milk, cheese). My roommates and best friends were all vegetarians so i just kinda picked up the diet and then u get to see that it's not that difficult really just know your diet and how to substitute essentials proteins etc. This was until i got home from college and my mom MADE ME start eating chicken. So now i eat poultry but I still can't eat red meat, most times it makes me want to puke plus my teeth are just not strong enough for it anymore.

6. I have lived and worked in 3 different countries on two different continents: USA, Canada, Nigeria; Africa and North America. I'm hoping to add an European country to that really soon, perhaps London, Paris, or Ireland. So any of you that lives in any of those countries want to holla and tell me what's up, i'd gladly take u up on that. I heard Ireland just got a black mayor no?

7. I'm a Quentin Tarantino FREAK. I'm a Kill Bill FREAK. As in, it's really serious oh! I was chatting to my friend once and in the background i heard just like two seconds of dialogue and i started to recite along and could paint the scene and what each person was doing. It was weird. LOL. And this is coming from someone who can never remember scenes and characters from any movie, i just never retain any of it. But give me O'Ren Ishii anytime!!! jeez that was a bad ass babe! "any other person got a fucking problem???" hehehe......

wow, this thing was actually hard to write and it took me like three days but i was determined LOL! so there u go.........i know i said i was gonna blog a lot while i've been on vac but it's just been crazy from here to there and tryna make sure i see everyone ha!

PS - to those who may have seen me in this new TRUE LOVE WA magazine, well, at least seen my name in the career file, i've been told it's not my pic! i know..........but i don't think i can deal with it until I get back. Chudeif you're reading this....abeg help me do something about this now abi? :o)

Ciao!

En Route

2007-06-23T10:22:00.000+03:00

hello ladies and gents! as some of you know i'm on vacation.....yay!!! Right now i' at schiphol airport in amsterdam paying outta my ass for some internet connection. can't find any network services that's for free but i just heard couple talking about it so if you know, please let me know cuz i'll be passing through here again on my trip back.

So yay!!! I'll be visiting home for the first time in a year and a half and i'm quite anxious i think. It feels like a dream to right now, i don't really know why sha. Like i've thought about it for so long now that i can't believe the day is here already, and the time couldn't be better. I wonder if the strike in nigeria is still on?!?! Cuz THANK GOD my trip was scheduled for this time cuz the thing was driving me nuts. i couldn't believe that a labor organization shut down the country for three days and counting! jeez.....weird ish. I guess i'll give it more time when i blog next as i'm gonna be doing on this trip since i got hi speed wireless at home and plenty of time. YAY again! Anyway, ya it feels weird to be going back. I'm curious to see how "nigerian/lagosian" i've become. I was on the plane with a Belgian (? is this what you call people from Belgium?!?!) anyway, he's been living in Nigeria (Port Harcourt for 3 years) and he was speaking mad pidgeon throughout the trip man. He was saying that he hopes when he gets to Belgium he doesn't starting saying "na wa o" and people would be looking at him weird! LOL. Totally got the guy. As the plane was taking off and my intense fear of flying was kicking in (i mean as bad as it gets, hyperventilating, frantic prayers punctuated with songs, and the occasional "oh jesus"....lol, trust me, it's bad!!!) anyway, i was getting mad scared so he like held my hand and kept on saying, "pele, pele".......if i wasn't busy thinkng of me loosing my life, i woulda just laughed!!! Anyway, good guy sha.

Ha....let me hurry off, seems like i got 15 more mins on this bad boy and i haven't checked out bella naija!

Ciao!

This is My City

2007-06-18T11:55:00.000+03:00

I was dragged kicking and screaming to Ottawa. I had chosen University of Ottawa as my school of choice in Canada because it was completely bilingual and i thought, tres cool? tres francaise! This city will definitely count in the top five of beautiful cities for anyone once you've been there. Ottawa is the capital city of Canada and is a bilingual (French and English) city, as in completely bilingual. It is next door to Quebec and Hull, Quebec is still considered part of the National Capital Territory and is like 15min away. It is 4 hours from Toronto, 2 hours from Montreal and 1 hour from the American border. Ottawa is the second coldest capital in the world, behind Moscow!!! Oh, we also hate Toronto and anything to do with it. Let me introduce you:

Gotta love the mounties!!

At Night!

In Winter!

Architecture

Interior Parliament

Notre Dame Cathedral

Interior Parliament:

Several festivals go on in Ottawa. There's the Blues and Jazz Festival in Summer. That's where I knew that Lauryn Hill was definitely bonkers!!! I was walking back from work one evening and all I could hear was Ms. Hill's screetching and crying as she sang and i was like wtf?!?! Anyway, we also have the Tulip Festival in July which is when tulips are EVERYWHERE in the city. The festival is a gift from the Queen of Holland who stayed in Canada during the second world war so since then she donates hundreds of thousands of tulips to Ottawa.

Then there's Winterlude! Ottawa is mad cold so of course we celebrate everything cold and make snow and ice sculptures and skate around the Rideau Canal which is the longest skating rink in the world, and eat beaver tails!!!

What Do We Eat?

Ok, this is fun! An Ottawaen must like poutine. In fact as a Canadian you must at least KNOW poutine, but if it's not made by a frenchman or there isn't a french person around, RUN!!!

And how serious are we about our poutine?!?!

So what else must you eat if you happen to be in Ottawa? well a shawarma of course. and i'm not talking about those pita sandwiches that some people try and pass on like it's a real shawarma, no! it has to have hummus, and garlic sauce, and tunips, if your sharwarma doesn't look like this:

and the place doesn't have one of these:

you're not eating a real shawarma, sorry! I actually LOVE LOVE sharwarma plates, y'all should try it if you can:

There's also beavertails which is fried dough covered in brown sugar or powdered sugar, this here is plain although it can be topped with apple sauce or whatever you like.

Falun Dafa
for some reason, we love our falun dafa. what is falun dafa?!?! me sef i no know oh! na so i dey see people all over the place it's sha interesting...check it out

I just like this pic below cuz it's so Ottawa, so Canadian!!! to have a stop sign for crossing turtles, how absurd, i can't imagine that would fly in America, lol.

I'll caption the rest of the pics tomorrow if there's no strike! If there's strike then yay!!! no work pour moi. I think i'll blog about the strike on my next post.
Ciao!

My First Blogger Crush!!!

2007-06-08T17:02:00.000+03:00

It was a quiet morning. The sun was out after a full day of dullness and downpour that was yesterday. I seriously didn't have high hopes for the day, just one of those "getting by" types you know. I decided on lazily checking up on blogs this friday. So off I go to Linda Ikeji's blog and i read her post about her very chauvinist sounding friend and i'm so incensed i decide to comment. In doing that I read one snazzy's comment and it sounded so well written and then i'm like "is this a naija guy?!?!?!".... Hmm, i said, let's see what this person's profile says. So I read and he says "just moved to nigeria from yanks and jand..." so i'm like, hmm....this should be interesting so I go...........

I was caught.
Funny
Relevant
Intelligent
Cheeky
Witty

Ahhhhhhhh..............I swoon. I've found my blog crush and his name is Snazzy

To those gbeboruns present, yes i do work, so shut up. That's all.

'Ol Time Killin'

2007-06-07T14:11:00.000+03:00

Oh my!!! Today is just one of those days you know. Work has been trying these last couple of days as we go through some major restructuring. Those of you in the know, know what i'm talking about. I think if ever i'm in a company that starts to show these kinds of signs again, I will definitely bounce before you can say "jack robinson"!!! It's not easy.

All my Canada heads, my toronto heads, will appreciate this next video link. For those that don't know.........there's an artist called Kardinall Offishal. There's an artist called Jully Black. They are hip hop. They are Canadians. And yes, they are black. It takes a true canadian to really appreciate canadian hip hop, it's different and fresh. It's mostly not about bling and hos (check out Fabolous vid about nothing for reference). Some of you may remember Kardi from "Bakardi Slang" which was hot in the states for about a minute, he even made it unto 106 & Park in those days. Anyway, this song here is called "Ol Time Killin" and it's classic. I'm just feeling it today....

Go Chimamanda!!!

I'm very proud of Chimamanda Ngozie Adichie who has just won the Orange Prize for Literature. I'm sure she appreciates the 30,000 pounds prize that comes with it, that sure inspires me to write! But on a serious tip, the lady has accomplished something wonderful for herself and other young women out there who are inspired to put pen to paper and document their thoughts for the world. So my hats off to her! She should just share the money around now....Chimamanda, just plan small party for the boys (girls)!!! lol.

Stolen Again!!

2007-06-05T18:34:00.000+03:00

I'm stealing this from TMinx again....i think i may have done it before though but why not:

1.What time did you get up this morning? 6:15am

2. Diamonds or pearls? Hmm...this one is hard oh!!! Ok....i'll go for diamonds, but ONLY after i've had lots of pearls. or maybe i'll get pearls with a diamond pendant?!!? yea...i like that

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Probably Spiderman

4. What is your favorite TV show? Gilmore Girls, i can't miss that show

5. What did you have for breakfast? Toast....(i won't tell you from where...)

6. What is your middle name? Temitope. for some reason everyone at the company clinic has refused to call me Lola. i don't know why.

7. What is your favorite cuisine/meal? Well, I love Pad Thai.

8. What foods do you dislike? Indian, i should tell you of the last (absolute last) indian restaurant I went to and what i saw the chef doing....

9. Your favorite Potato chip? i don't eat these...

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Robin Thicke and B'Day (bootleg version with close to every damn good song beyonce ever made along with of course the songs of bday), Tuface Idibia

11. What kind of car do you drive? right...moving along.

12. Favorite sandwich? probably chicken hummus...or if shawarma counts

13. What characteristics do you despise? Unkind people, arrogance and self-centeredness

14. Favorite item of clothing? One of my ankara outfits for sure.

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Seychelles Island, or some Eastern European country.

16. What color is your bathroom? Pink....yup!

17. Favorite brand of clothing? BCBG, Banana Republic, Gap....those are the only ones I KNOW for sure i'd pick and just wear, no complaints.

18. Where would you want to retire? i've never thought of that before......uhm....canada or europe.

19. Favorite time of day? Morning

20. Where were you born? Lagos, Nigeria

21. Favorite sport(s) to watch? Football, u know, the one that counts......NFL!!! let the america bashing begin....

22. Who do you least expect to respond to this? It doesn't really matter now does it?

23. Person you expect to respond first? Ditto

24. What laundry scent do you use? Doesn't everyone use downy or bounty??? but no downy in Nigeria that i've found anyway....everything is persil.

25. Coke or Pepsi? I'm not a soft drinks person

26. Are you a morning person or night owl? Morning person

27. What size shoe do you wear? promise not to scream?!?! Size 11 American. and watever that is anywhere else.

28. Do you have pets? NOpe, used to have a cat called Lulu Chiquita

29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? I'm nutty over someone/something/some project

30. What did you want to be when you were little? Bacteriologist and Pediatrician

31. Favorite Candy Bar? Kit Kat or Twixt

32. What is your best childhood memory? i don't know man....i just remember i was quite happy as a little child oh! once pre-puberty hit it was trouble.

33. What are the different jobs you have had in your life? Bingo Attendant, Plus Size Lingerie Sales Attendant, Receptionist, Market Researcher, Marketing Database Assistant, Marketing Information Manager

34. What color/type underwear are you? Something pink or yellow i'm sure

35.Nicknames: as if i would say.

36. Piercings ? One in each ear

37. Eye color? Brown

38. Ever been to Africa? duh, i live here...

39. Ever been toilet papering or rolling? I think so, probably at halloween.

40. Love someone so much it made you cry? Yes

41. Been in a car accident? Minor, baby ones...recently though a trailer and i mean a HUGE trailer grazed off the side of my friend's car and I was in it. I was soo scared but dude was chill.....that ish scared me!

42. Croutons or bacon bits? Ewww...i hate bacon! Croutons please...

43.Favorite day of the week? Wednesday! don't ask me why, i've just always liked it

44. Favorite restaurant? I'm assuming in Lagos right? Marco Polo. I also like Pattaya but give me Yellow Chili anytime, that's my second home :o)

45. Favorite flower? Sunflowers

46. Favorite ice cream? Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough or Mint Chocolate Chip

47. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Lol.......once so far!

48. What color is your bedroom carpet? Brown

49. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Again?!?!

50. Before this one, from whom did you get your last email? My last email was from AC Nielsen (drats!)

51. Which stores would you choose to max out your credit card? I don't have a credit card but.......H&M cuz i'll be able to buy plenty of cool stuff, Banana Republic just cuz i'm a banana republic whore.

52. What do you do most often when you are bored? Read, and i mean read everything....oh and also SUDOKU!!!

53. Bedtime? 10pm, if no light and i've got to turn off the generator, lol. otherwise depends on what's on tv.

54. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? Blah...

55. Last person you went to dinner with? A friend

56. What are you listening to right now? Robin Thicke, Lost Without You. this song means a lot to me.

57. What is your favorite color? Forest Green

58. Lake, Ocean or river? Ocean...a la Beyonce and JayZ off the Amalfi Coast...

59. How many tattoos do you have? None. But i'm really thinking of it now, how come everyone I meet has one or two?!?! When I was younger I wanted the hieraglyphic sign for destiny in the crook of my back but now I think i want the playboy logo......LOL (how my priority has changed over the years!!!!)

60. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The egg of course! trust me, I can explain that.

I Have So Much On My Mind

2007-05-25T10:39:00.000+03:00

Jeez....so much is on my mind this morning I just had to come here and jot some down so I can at least get them off my chest.

The Funmi Iyanda Issue
Please will someone tell me what this woman has done to people to garner so much talk and opinion about her? in the negative way i mean? I can't seem to understand it. Truth be told, I missed the furor that was unleashed (apparently) on Bella Naija's blog but I remember seeing the pictures and just glossing over it. I saw that same dress in This Day style this weekend, and I remember just thinking, "wow, that dress is HOT". For me though, it's like highlighting one thing that bugs me to no end of this our society. I see it everyday, I hear it everyday and it's validated for me everytime I read it in print in our magazines and in our newspapers. Please I would like someone, anyone, to correct me if i'm wrong. This is just my summation, and if anyone sees it any other way, please point me in that direction because this is just not right! What am I talking about? The way women are viewed in this society. The way women are tagged and placed in one square box. The values we are teaching our girls, our daughters, the values that are the norm for women. Women are not to be outspoken, they are not to be expressive, they are not to be too intelligent (at least not more than the men around her), they are not to be too creative, they are dress modestly, speak modestly, do modestly, modest, modest modest.............AAAARGH!!!

Everytime I see it reinforced, I cringe a little but I just shut up and move on, but really inside of me I want to yell ITS NOT OK!!! Imagine a comment i read from the Minister of Women Affairs, it went something like this "No matter what I become, i'm still wife at home and serve my husband" My problem is not with her serving her husband, my problem is what her sentence is implying. Or I was at work and a colleague says "that's not right now, it's like saying a woman should stand in front of her husband". And i'm thinking what the hell? Or some recent comments on the Vagina Monologues show that was put on in Lagos and some women writing in with comments like "vaginas should not be discussed" blah blah blah. Maybe we should all still be calling it "chu-chus" or something equally stunted in growth. Some even complained that why would they call a show "vagina monologues" that the word vagina shouldn't be there...I mean are women really this repressed? I'm wondering how these women feel about being sexual beings when they can't even say vagina?

I think it's very imperative that we start encouraging our young girls to know themselves, to be proud of what and who they are, and to be expressive in a way that's true to themselves. We should teach them confidence and dignity. A professor said something to me once that will always guide me throughout my life, she said "true feminism is not burning bras and breaking ceilings, it's not even about being domestic or timid, it's about having the freedom and right to choose whatever balance of both is right for you". This rant is not about feminism in anyway but it's about the fact that jeez....we should teach other and accept from each other, that as women, we can choose to be WHATEVER WE WANNA BE, and it's ok.

whew...all this from Ms. Iyanda!

Money, Money, Money
This is another issue that has been just bugging me. It's been bugging me since even first year in college.

I have this shirt, it's actually my favorite shirt, and it reads, "I Love Rich Boys". Apart from the fact that people should just lighten up, i have to say I get a lot of comments about it. Comments, and side looks, once even at Tastee's Fried Chicken, I got a man who very disapprovingly shook his head at me. lol. But really what's the fuss? why are people so uptight and so untruthful about money? who cares?!?! I'm someone who really I've gone through all of the spectrums, I know people who are wealthy and in the end there was no benefit to them, they died poor, not moneywise, but life wise. But I also know people who are poor and although they are happy with their loved ones, they are dying of heart disease because they don't have a lot. So what's the fuss? We all die in the end and we don't stand in front of Peter with bling!

I know for me, I pray to be blessed. I'll work my butt off to make sure my family, current and future, don't live hand to mouth. I want them all to live comfortably, even luxuriously. I've seen poverty and no one can romanticize that. This is a goal I have for myself, regardless of who my partner may or may not be. If you're going to be in my life, you have to understand that I'm ambitious, that I want to be successful, hell, that I want to pay off my student loans at a go! lol. Amen. People say what about the guy with the bus pass! well, my answer is I can never be with someone whose ambition is, or who's happy with, his bus pass situation. Never. Ambition is sexy to me!

But seriously though, we all need to lighten up! It's okay to want to be rich. What's bad is if you're driven by money and shortsighted about it, if it rules your life and your principles, if you're mad for it, if it's the devil in your life.

Ok, yes, I talked about it, imagine that!

I Dreamt of Chicken Caesar Salad!

2007-05-22T15:01:00.000+03:00

No kidding. And it was one of those dreams that you are having so much fun and you don't want to wake up just yet and when your eyes finally open, you keep blinking them, wishing that reality IS the dream and the dream IS the reality, ya dig? LOL. I mean the thing just looked sooooo good! LOL. My friend was saying that I should ask someone to bring it down for me when they're coming but my question is wouldn't it be soggy?!?! I don't like soggy salad! And then I had this convo with another friend:
ME: i don't know, i think i need a vacation
HIM: where would u go?
ME: america now (duh!)
HIM: You know you can stay in lagos and have a splendid time
ME: u don't understand, i DREAMT of chicken caesar salad yesterday
HIM: what u need is a good meal!!!

LOL. i'm famous for not having food in my house (all you nija male readers/potential admirers, I can actually cook oh!). I just hate cooking for one, I hate food shopping in lagos, and i hate leftover food. so my dilemma is compounded, hence, no food in my house. my kitchen has water, juice, peanut butter, jam, rice krispies, and maybe bread on a good day. I'm sure you guys are starting to understand me now.

Since the day of the dream, I can't get my lunch routine in boston outta my head. I NEED me some signature salad from Cosi (romaine, red grapes, pistachio, gorgonzola cheese and some weird dressing...) but it's good!!! Somebody help me! Before anyone tries to point out (smarty pants!) that I can get caesar salad in Lagos, as easy as it sounds, i challenge the person to find me good caesar salad here, seeing is believing homie! you can hardly find good regular salad around these parts sef......

Ah.......ok, i'm through.

Some of y'all are probably mad at me now that you spent your time reading this stuff and it's only about chicken caesar salad!!! HAHAHA!!!

Dating As Fun!

2007-05-07T12:03:00.000+03:00

When I was 19 I dated a guy we'll call Mark. Now for some reason, i'm not really sure of, Mark decided that the best way to woo me was to do these grand gestures, you know, impress me. Mark was an older man, he was a businessman, running his company and having several employees that depended on him. I wouldn't say Mark was wealthy, he was a bit on the fringe, you know, he could afford all these things but not in that nonchalant way really wealthy people do. Anyway, Mark was known for these romantic type gestures, at least grand for a 19 year old!!! LOL. The benefit of hindsight of course shows me it was all BS, lol. He'd come and pick me up under the pretenses of something really mundane and I'd end up walking into a fancy dinner at some cozy restaurant. There was a time we were going somewhere and he said he wanted to stop over at his hotel to pick up his outfit for his friend's bachelor's party only for me to walk into the room, there's a bottle of Dom Perignon chilling in a bucket by the window with a vase of beautiful red roses. Or when he was buying his new property, he took me there and we sat in the garden with some wine and just chatting into the night. See even though the relationship ended really badly (the only one of my exes that I don't speak to), those were things that always stayed with me because it was.....sweet. Coupled with the fact that the man just always told me I was beautiful and handled me with care, yada yada yada.

After Mark, was someone I'd call Oliseh. Now Oliseh had money to throw around so once again, I was out seeing things and doing things that really trips a young girl you know. Enter a store, a bar, anywhere really and clear the place out. I've only seen someone buy the bar out when I was with Oliseh. For some reason as well, Oliseh was out to impress and he did succeed in making me feel......special, i guess. But after Oliseh, things got back to normal and has been ever since. Now why am I remembering all this?!?! (to the koko of the matter...)

Had a fabulous, fabulous, date this past weekend that reminded me of those days that i thought were long gone. I mean there was a point yesterday after I got back that I was actually thinking to myself, did I just dream up this ish? I don't know what will end up of the date, don't know if we'd be together or nothing, but it's just really nice to know that there are still guys out there that know how to do the damn thing!

Anh...anh...how fun!

I've Got A New Attitude

2007-05-04T14:06:00.000+03:00

Hello peeps! I'm back. So what's been going on with me lately? I'm a bit busy right now, trying to hustle and make that money. For some reason I always surround myself with these high achievers and then struggle trying to keep up. Not in that bad, "keeping up with the joneses" way, but in that way that you're trying to better yourself because the people you see around you are so inspiring.

One thing's for sure, it's time to make another drastic change. I've accepted that, i'm now just working out the logistics and doing a lot of praying about it. I have so many people around me that are doing so many good things, i really don't have any excuses to sit and wait around where i'm no longer fulfilled or happy. I'm actually excited about it. Oh which reminds me again here, PWEEEEEEEEEEEASE, if anyone knows Olaotan Towry-Coker of What's New magazine, please please, put us in touch with each other. I have some ideas I want to discuss with him. Also trying to get a particular project off ground so y'all should stay tuned! I've also realized that I love working out people's project with them, a sort of consulting. I really enjoy that naturally, so i've been talking with lots of young people, trying to help them, motivate them to realizing their dream. People should watch out oh! The young nigerians I know that are coming back to Lagos are really itching to do it BIG!

ok, what else? For Urhobo Girl who made a comment about who the boy i mentioned in the previous post was and what happened.........first, you like gist and party too much jo! second, what happens in ikoyi stays in ikoyi! hahaha!

Moving on, i've noticed people are writing more about their personal life on their blogs. Oh, I wish I could do the same. The thing is soo convoluted sef. One day is one thing, the other day it's something else. Those of you that read my blog often will know that I've spoken before about some "friend" of mine. I keep going back and forth with the same question, "why are we not together again?" The thing has passed me oh! If he's like, "ok, let's do this", me i'm like "nah, not on your life". when i say "ok, i'm sorta feeling this", he's like "nah, not happening". To tell the truth, I just think this is the right people (he & I) but the wrong time. Which really sucks....

Naija Blues

2007-04-25T13:45:00.000+03:00

i've got the kraft
macaroni & cheese blues
i've got the bluessss...

I don't know what's happening to me today. I just woke up sooooo depressed. I think i've been so tired mentally and bored for a little while now. My job is probably the biggest contributor to this. It's gone from something that was so fantastic, enjoyable, and challening. In fact last year I had to keep reminding myself that I'm so lucky to have a job doing exactly what I want to do. But since then, everything has just soured. In the name of job expansion i guess, another portfolio has been added to mine, and i'm just not with it. HOWEVER, it's taken soo much of my time. I want to have a good outlook like ok, i'll do this one extremely well, to the absolute best of my abilities, and just use this opportunity to show my versatility but damn.........coupled with the after effects of the scandal, and the office place just not being the same.

I think I just want to go home. I'm tired of Nigeria. I miss the things that have been "regular" to me for soo long. I was joking with my friend the other day that I think the day my plane lands in America, I will be so goddamn emotional. Man, it's been a long while since i've been out, and a long way for me. I remember the day I left home. No one was even home. Just me and my brother and we weren't even talking at that time. I just got up, showered, finished packing, called a cab. I remember we had just had a snowstorm and there was ice everywhere. I remember calling Tmobile from the taxi and they ticking me off :) Yes, I definitely need to go visit and SOON or i'mma have to cut somebody. I don't know how i'll do it though since getting anything at work is like getting to see Babangida while he's visiting Obasanjo in Aso Rock. I always say, if there's anything that can go wrong, any roadblocks that can pop up, the people at my job WILL find it and just make your life a living hell. A friend of mine recently needed a letter that stated that she did indeed work there and you wouldn't believe the hassle. Something that should be as simple as:
SHE: i need a letter stating I work here please
THEM: oh, (since that's one of my freaking templates) sure, come pick it up next week.
SHE: thanks!

But noooooo........ this is how it goes instead
SHE: Please, please, please, please, i need a letter stating I work here...please
THEM: go and write me a formal letter asking me
SHE: ok
****
SHE: ok, here's the letter
THEM: you need to get it signed by your boss
SHE: ok
(walks back about a block to her office to get's it signed)
SHE: here it is!
THEM: (looks disgustingly at the letter)you need to get it signed by HR
SHE: uhm...ok
(walks to HR to get it signed)
HR: why do u need this
SHE: i need to get a visa
HR: why
SHE: i want to travel
HR: put the dates and get your boss to sign it (knowing that would be impossible cuz she's not allowed to go to vacation yet)
SHE: uhm, i'm going on a weekend so i don't see why my boss as to approve the dates
HR: you're going to London for the weekend (looking disgustingly)
SHE: yes
HR: she still needs to sign the date
SHE: ok
(goes to reprint the letter, sign it by her boss, take to HR to sign, take to Corporate Affairs to sign)
THEM: ok, come and get it in 4 working days
SHE: but it's just right there, you just need to sign it and i'll be on my way.
THEM: Sorry, the policy is 4 working days
SHE: (?!@?!!!?@@!!) NARF OFF!!!

Lol. except for the narf off, that's the way it goes. for a simple letter. that states you work for the company...........BLAH! Maybe I should just lie and say I was abducted for two weeks! they'd believe that ish for SURE!

Anyway back to my depression. It's even bordering on the existential a la Lisa in Saved By The Bell (what is art? is art art? are we art?) Lol. Hey! Maybe it's just a quarter life crisis, i've heard of this happening but maybe this is it? One thing I find myself thinking about (or trying not to think about) is death? how strange is death and this life? you're born and then you die. we all don't even know what happens when you die (Christians believe if you're good you go to heaven if not then it's hell but how does all that work out? do you really see Peter at the door? do you fly there from your body or do you just appear, one sec u watching tv, next thing you're like wha? peter?). it's like you just cease to exist, like a cockroach that you kill in your house and throw in the incinerator (aka bonfire). A staff member just died this weekend. I liked her. I can't believe she died. And then the VTech people. They wake up, go to French class, and never come out again. My dad who died of cancer which is the LAST THING anyone thought would kill the guy. He liked his beer, i think smoked when he was younger (i never saw him smoke) and that's about it. He was fine one minute and dead the next. Toni Payne's I assume little cousin or nephew of some sort apparently died. And then thinking of that I remember my two cousins that died last year, they were 8 and 10. What's the point? How do you make your life meaningful in this race to the grave?

Ah....i don't mean to depress y'all too I swear!!! Everything is just seeming so random to me right now. Not just death but everything. Random. I told you, existential right? (man, that class fucked me up oh, i won't lie!)

I know what i'm gonna do. I'm gonna do something really crazy and out of this world that the drama of it all will take my mind off all these thoughts! (don't worry y'all nothing morbid in anyway oh!) lol. it'll probably involve a boy.......lol. yes, i'm that girl that read seventeen mag until i was like 21!

Anyway, toodles!

Magical Elections

2007-04-23T13:34:00.000+03:00

I love politics. I love every aspect of it. To me it’s one of the most beautiful things about modern civilization. It is the ultimate test of democracy really. I’m not so much a staunch believer in democracy in terms of philosophy, but I do know that it is one that has worked in various fashions for the biggest economies and most successful nations in the history of man.

Yet, watching Nigeria’s elections circus (indeed the best descriptive word), leaves me completely disheartened, confused, and now complete apathy is beginning to set in. I’m sitting right now in front of the television watching the news coverage and I’m finding it hard to believe that this sort of…..magic, can happen so openly, and to feel so disconnected, even as a citizen, as the everyday person, is just sad.

In Abia state, apparently INEC did not get ballot papers in on time, SOOO voting did not start until about 5:30pm………..yes, read that again, 5:30pm!!! And even then it was in the dark, but that is a secondary problem I suppose. I’ve just watched presidential candidate Orji Kalu who just casted his vote at 7pm give such an emotional comment to the press. I don’t care too much for him, but it is his absolute right to contest for the presidential election if he can and be given a fair chance. But after spending all the time, money, and effort to now come to the ballot box and vote in the dark at 7pm!!! What feeling of disappointment that must have been. This is in the South East which will no doubt have most of his constituencies. How can ANYONE observing this think that this man has had a fair go at it? What kind of message does that send? What kind of gross incompetence and embarrassment is this for INEC? What is this monster we’re all dealing with?

In Lagos West and some other senatorial districts, elections for the Senate were cancelled completely to be held another day. What kind of????? How can anyone in their right mind think this is ok? Or free and fair?? Or what? What is this monster really?

Lately when people talk about the elections, I just find it cute. All the spitting that goes back and forth, it’s glazing over the real, REAL issue we all know, which is that elections in Nigeria are very very far from being the kind that celebrates democracy, far from being free, far from being fair. That’s the absolute truth. We are all afraid to say exactly that, because when you look back, those times (in the past) were SOOO rough, I understand that, but what is this we have? Nothing. Obasanjo picks who’s gonna be the next president and nothing but an American invasion will stop that act from coming true. We all know that. The curtain draws, the actors play the part, the “hero” wins, the puppet master is happy. This circus. The Nigerian elections. Circus 2007.

What monster are we all dealing with indeed?

Donde Estan Los Ladrones

2007-04-17T17:44:00.000+03:00

Alrighty people, i have tons of pics about 100, but i'm finding it hard to resize them and then upload them because of the speed of my internet connection soo.....sorry but these like two pics will have to do :( !!!

In other news..........got robbed at gunpoint last week wednesday on what I think was falomo bridge. Well, never had a gun pointed at my cranium so it was an experience. I was quite shaken for the day (incident was at 8pm) and then the trauma set in so I started to sleep with a golf club by my bedside (cuz my bag had my pay slip in it with my address et al.) anyhoo.......life must go on right?....right???

Man, i need a vacation...

TMinx is Back...YAY!!!!

2007-04-11T18:16:00.000+03:00

1. Yourself: Beautiful outside, but more beautiful inside
2. Your partner: Up to God
3. Your hair: Dark Brown
4. Your mother: Blessed
5. Your father: Hella Funny
6. Your favourite item: My camera
7. Your dream last night: Can't remember
8. Your favourite drink: Mojito (of course it had to be alcoholic right?
9. Your dream car: Mini Convertible (yea, i'm weird)
10. The room you are in: Work (aargh!)
11. Your ex: Beautiful
12. Your fear: Death and Failure
13. What you want to be in 10 years: Wildly Successful
14. Who you hung out with last night: Jamila!
15. What you're not: Introvert
16. Muffins: Carrot
17: One of your wish list items: Plane ticket to Paris
18: Time: 430pm!
19. The last thing you did: Called Bunmi
20. What you are wearing: work clothes, but still sexy and fly fa sure!
21. Your favourite weather: Rainy
22. Your favourite book: Power of a Praying Woman, Leap of Faith
23. The last thing you ate: Rice, moinmoin, and snail stew
24. Your life: is everywhere God wants it to be
25. Your mood: Playful, Happy
26. Your best friend: many good girlfriends i wouldn't trade for the world!
27. What you're thinking about right now: Public Holiday Thurs & Fri, YAY!!!
28. Your car: right.....
29. What you are doing at the moment: Blogging, DUH!
30. Your summer: Work, some traveling
31. Your relationship status: Single (i need hookups y'all!)
32. What is on your TV: DStv
33. What is the weather like: VERY Hot
34. When was the last time you laughed: if you know me you know i laugh a lot! can't help it, i'm a happy person!!!

I'm so glad TMinx is back!!! We can go back to more blogville gists, etc....In honor of her, i stole this meme from her site.

Obudu was breathtakingly beautiful, I'll post pics tomorrow or by Monday sha!!! (didm't u hear, public holiday tomorrow and friday...shu...)

What Shall I Blog About?!?!

2007-04-05T11:58:00.000+03:00

I'm having a wonderful day today. I have terrible sinuses cuz of the dust in my house that I had to clean last friday. It's amazing that so much dust can accumulate in one week! But even the sinuses ain't getting me down today, no way Jose (yes, i'm so corny). Maybe it has to do with my going to Calabar, Obudu Cattle ranch to be specific, this Easter weekend. I've heard sooo much about how beautiful it is. Here are some pics I googled:

Yea...its nice ain't it? And the weekend is all planned out with a group of people I'm just too excited to go. But apart from that just generally happy right now, enjoying life, etc. I wanted to blog since last week but just didn't have the time to get around to it. Even now, i'm sneaking in time to do this! So what i've decided to do is write a small blurb/compilation of all the things I wanted to blog about since last week and their titles I had in my head (yeah, i'm strange like that). So here we go.

Adventures of Frick and Frack
I have at the company I work at, two people I'd like to call Frick and Frack (i have to be somewhat vague here since I think they've somehow discovered the blogging world recently. You see Frick actually has some sort of job security, but i'm not sure he/she (hence on known as hesh) knows that, so hesh is very bitter about "thinking hesh doesn't". Frack on the other hand, doesn't have a prayer (IMHO) and hesh has every right to be bitter I guess, but misery does love company so hesh has dragged Frick into his/her misery, and now, I'm not so sure Frick even has job security anymore. Anyway, they are bugging HELL outta me. Always looking you down, gossiping about EVERYTHING, backbiting, thinking that the world OWES them everything. Abeg jo! Maybe all the energy you pour into "analyzing" everyone else work, if all that energy was poured into................your own work (surprise!!!) then you'd be faring much better.
Whew....got that off my chest!

Friend or Foe?
Ok, here's the gist as sad as it may be o! I met a boy recently. We went out a few times, and just as I was starting to really get excited about it, dude calls me and has a "talk" with me. Here it is:
FF: Lola we need to talk about something cuz i'm sensing that you may be a bit confused about some things us, what are we, etc...
ME: uhm.....yes
FF: Ok, i thought so. well, i really like you, love hanging out with you and think you're a great gal but i'm just not into committed relationships right now.
ME: uhm....ok...but i'm not into "any other kind of relationship" right now either, especially not with you.
FF: Well, I'd love if we could still be friends...
ME: I don't think so. I'm not your friend, let's not confuse that either.

Anyway, that was my stance and i felt quite strongly about that. I mean i don't need more friends at all, AND i'm not going to be the "friend" that's secretly pining for the guy and dying inside e'rytime she sees him with some other jump off, i've been there, done that, got the therapy bill. But i'm weak really, and apparently we're friends now.......we'll see how that lasts, i'm VERY skeptical. I mean, I've effectively gotten him outta my system I think, but do I need that temptation at every turn.....?!?! Can a woman and a man, who have had chemistry if nothing else before, can they truly be friends?!?! Dude, if you're reading this (highly unlikely but...) there's no conspiracy theory behind it abeg....keep it moving jo.

Wedding Fever
Soooooooooooooo....I have a friend who in delirium (brought on by the combination of codeine and some heavy malaria medication) dreamt of her wedding. She has been "happy" ever since. But that's not the the crazy part. She is now planning the said wedding. YES. planning it, hall, dress, et al. EVERYTHING but the man, which, hmm...call me crazy but I think that's what should come first. To her credit, she has the man thing in the horizon but hmm...sha. For me i'd think I'd do it in steps: man, boyfriend, ring, fiance, engagement ceremony.........and before you know it.....WEDDING!!!! lol. I don't know, i'm just not too too too crazy about thinking about MY own wedding. Don't get me wrong, I love watching all those wedding channels, and love looking at the pics and all that, but somehow i don't really connect it to me! It's weird. Somehow i still don't see weddings as a passage right that MUST happen, to me it's still lodged in that fairytale part of my brain along with my cinderella stories. But anyway back to the story, this babe is now convinced, absolutely convinced that it was all a spiritual episode and the reality is coming REALLY soon so hey........i guess it'll save everyone time since she's already prepared. Maybe I should tell her to hurry up and book the hall now! LOL.

Anyway people, enjoy the Easter break!!!

True Love at N700!?!?!!!!!

2007-03-22T11:05:00.000+03:00

Let me use this medium to exclaim very loudly!!! I'm so upset about this. This is like a 50% hike in prices from one month to another. who does this?!?! i'm buying my mag jejely every month for N500, happy that my mag is reasonably priced and much better quality than the other and then WHAM! this morning I get to work and my co-worker is brandishing the new mag around, and of course I clamour to go and see that's when she dropped the bomb..........."N700" Que? I almost had a heart attack. She then says, enh, shebi it's only $5. So I exclaim very loudly, do you think i buy a regular mag for $5?!?! How much is Vanity Fair, and that is like the creme de la creme of magazines with a gazillion pages, globally respected journalists, internationally celebrated photographers, etc. In this country we like to take the piss a lot. I mean, this True Love didn't even come with more pages or look or feel any different, so how do you justify in the consumer's mind that this product needs a 50% hike in prices?!?! Maybe my marketing and operations is a little off, but somehow I don't think so. I work in an FMCG so I understand the constraints of production in a country like Nigeria, but a 50% hike with absolutely no PR to back it up, no educating your consumers about why you need to jump prices?!?! I mean it's expensive by international standards. I have a Sleek Magazine and it sells for N1000 and it's a much bigger mag with much more articles etc. I don't know............doesn't seem right, but in Nigeria the consumer has no powers.........

Disclaimer: Please let it be known, that True Love West Africa IS my favorite mag in this country and i've said so too many times to too many people. The quality is great and the articles are relevant and inspiring. But in a true love (pun intended) you have to give as good as you get and i'm just too ijebu for this thing jare!

My Love for Tuface Idibia!

2007-03-14T13:15:00.000+03:00

From the moment I heard:

Nothin dey happen
Catch the vibe
Get the feeling
Yes oh!

I was hooked like a mug! I loved Tuface from the moment I heard his songs. His voice was just smooth, and his songs were on another level from some of the other things I'd heard coming out of naija. Yes, African Queen was at one time the most recognizable song in Africa, or black Africa at least, but I just never really felt that song to be honest. But Nfana Ibaga and Keep on Rocking were my jams! Even Ole! i still listen to today and it still seems fresher than many other nigerian songs out there right now.

From the time Tuface got all those accolades, I was quite worried for the man cuz you know us Nigerians now, we love fad too much, especially when it comes to our musicians! my god, here today gone tomorrow is the order of the day, and once something is considered "so last year"....that's the end of it. So I was always rooting for 2Face and his sophomore album cuz the man is just plain talented u know! And then the new songs started trickling in one by one and from the little I heard, it sounded great, so I copped it! And my God, I'M LOVING IT!!!! every single dang track i love! Right now this is my favorite though, check the video (NO SHAKING):

I play this song everyday first thing when I get home. I don't know about the video since it wasn't shot in Nigeria and was featuring African Americans in some African American themed type of video - i'm sooo not feeling that! But the song is hot! One thing I'm loving about this new CD is that Tuface's lyrics are just too mush jo! I noticed a bit about it in his last album but on this one, almost every song as one of those "conscious" musician overtones, it's beautiful! Here's some animated video for his other single 4 INSTANCE. I'm not feeling this video either and hope there's another one to replace it, BUUUUT again, the lyrics to the song are on point.

SEE ME SO and E BE LIKE SAY are also very nice. So all in all, I'm just bigging up my brother here jare! If you guys have a chance, buy the cd and take a listen. It's one of the best from Nigeria by one of our best! I wish Tuface was just managed a bit.....better, his opportunities are boundless!

I still love me some D'Banj (especially after that photo in Genevieve with his mama!) but he and Tuface sing different kinds of music i think.

Poetry Dayz...

2007-03-07T17:59:00.000+03:00

I feel like Poetry today. A long time ago I used to write very often, but these days either there's nothing that i'm inspired by or it's just not happening for me. Ah well, i've been wanting to post some of my poetry here, just cuz, they my babies and i want them very accessible. Either way, enjoy! (my NR readers may want to skip this one!)

This first one, i didn't write at all, but I still love and you know, as women, we all have those days!

an ode to the "it" gurls" (Tremaine Loadholt)

i'm prettier than her
is what i tell myself
in the mirror at nite
while i smooth proactiv renewing
cleanser on my face.
"so, why'd he choose her?"
and why do i still want him
after 1, 2, 3, 4....
years?
"we always seem to want
what we cannot have or what
we do not have access to,"
so she says. i give her
a sideways look cuz she's got
what she wanted, and took him
from someone else.
i often wish i had
the gall she sticks out
like a beautiful set of double
d's.

she brags about the man
she's fought many women over
and how they "won't ever part
cuz i got him wrapped 'round
my finger gurl," and i
stare at her wondering how
fast i could reach inside her
chest and pull out her heart while
she's still talking. the picture
fades and i begin
telling her how i sometimes get
close to being the one
a him chooses but nevertheless,
friend zone is where i'm
usually parked. i sit
casually honking my horn
for all of the teacakes
that walk by, none of them
*whistle* back to me.

"if you want it, go for it
gurl."
i smile at her,
and as it seems to shrink i look
her square in the eyes and
say, "i'm just not that
desperate."
silence takes over
the room, she bites the nail
of her index finger on
her left hand and lets out
a sigh. and it's all clear
to me, she's not
the it gurl either.

©Tremaine L. Loadholt (from okayplayer.com)

This one i just wrote, it's not about anyone in particular o! Just wrote it.

I want u to
Hold me
Caress me
Kiss Me
Drink me in like fine wine
I want u to
Part my legs
Peak into my core
Fill my emptiness
With your steadiness 'til i
shake rattle and roll
I want u to
Whisper then
Softly hum, then
Rock me gently
Till I drift away
Memories of the present
As you trickle down my thigh
leaving a trail, it's mark
I want u to
leave me a note the next day
saying how good it was
How sweet it was
How you're thinking of me
At this moment, this second
I want u to
Admit it ain't never been like this
Never loved like this
Never scared like this
so desperate to ask me
Quietly, consciously
What do u want me to do?

I wrote this next poem after dealing with family wahala after someone dies. The fakeness of it all. The chaos. The chief mourners et al. The ugliest part of humans come out in nigerians after a death.

And No One Came
Tongues wagged
Fingers clapped
Teeth gnashed
Mouths wailed
In the dark
As the veil cometh
And all was silenced
A soul yearned
But no one came

Hollow laughter
Snickers after
Raucous banter
Lazy chatter
In the night
As the thief trumpet
And all was guarded
A spirit called
But no one came

Now he roams
Now he knows
Now they fret
Now regret
The thief is blind
The veil is neigh
Who now will come?
When next it calls?

This is one i wrote a long time ago, can't remember why, just one of those days I guess!!!

That Day
That day I cried rivers
That day I opened my soul unendingly till i shivered
That day I remembered the sun, the sky
The moon all seemed placed under my starlit eye
As I wandered effortlessly amidst the greens, the tees
That day I cried when all I saw pleased
When I found that parking spot down that busy street
And that train all but seemed to wait for me so I could meet
That wonderous black gaze of my wonderous black man
That day I cried for the plight of my tan
In my stand, my skin has erased all possible means
That I should after years, after days, after ways
Burst out of my unruly seams
That day I cried
That day I opened up my soul unendingly till i shivered
That day the sun, the sky, the moon
They took the time to swoon
That day the world cried
That day my alienation died

Ok, i think that's it for today! Ciao!

Life without DSTV and other musings...

2007-03-01T12:30:00.000+03:00

Oh my..............I know, i know, i need to update my blog more often, but it's hard to do that when you only have internet at work and it's an open workspace with my boss sitting directly behind me! But it's one of my new month resolutions sha...lol!

I've just read
Jeremy's post and I must say I enjoyed it thoroughly. I don't always agree with Jeremy and sometimes I feel that he has an air of "superiority" in his comments, but I respect his points though as I don't think he means to be malicious. Sometimes his observations are so poignant and on point, I'm recalling his write up on religion, which was teethering on the edge of "anti-religion" but still had very relevant and oh so true points. Anyway, he ruffles feathers which, in my opinion, is not such a bad thing! So back to this particular entry, it's just fantastic! The pictures are absolutely, absolutely beautiful.

You can go to his blog to see more and please do read. It makes me want to go "backpacking" in the north. But I don't think that is too possible! It's quite a shame that it's not as accessible to women as it is to men. Even Jeremy commented that he didn't see to many women out and about so I can't imagine what kind of risk it'd be to be a female traveller/tourist there. Plus Lord knows, i'm petrified of any religious riots cuz I heard those things are B-L-O-O-D-Y, with friends killing friends, neigbours killing neighbours, etc., how much less an unknown female yoruba traveller with an american accent? I don't know.........

Anyway o.........I HAVE NO CABLE!!!!!! aaarghhhhhhhh! The short version is the money was paid into the wrong account, and of course...there's no remedy for that soooo for the next month (I hope!) I have no DSTV! To understand how horrible this is really, I've been in nigeria for a little over a year now and i've NEVER EVER EVER watched local television. The past two weeks however, the gods have somehow decided to punish me. I don't have the words to explain how bad it is. But i'll sho try!!! lol. First off, my particular tv only receives a few stations and they're not clear, 2 NTA channels, MiTv, Galaxy, LTV, Silverbird, and sometimes the new Link 65 though it doesn't have colour. I think the only one missing is AIT which is not clear at all. So there you have it, the local television stations. Most of the time, there's news, which like Adaure said, is not really news but paid hypes for several companies, products, and people. If not that then it's some old, stale, update on what PDP did in Akure over the past weekend, which is always the same diatribe of burning the AC broom and a whole bunch of people ranting on with a very "just-this-much-and-the-money-will-be-flowing" look on their faces......BORING. And then if not news it's an array of sleek televangelists telling you they have the key to your happiness, or you should come to their campground, or there's one that actually says if you come to his church, you'd get married or have a set of twins by the end of the year...i'm still not sure if he's the one doing the impregnating.........ANYWOO, then, it's some poorly produced, poorly shot, sort of program in the realm of sports, or beauty, style, or "women in -----(fill in the necessary industry here). imagine someone sitting on a stool with an obviously black drape background (or worse, some sort of basic computer imposed bright, sometimes, moving background), trying to speak fonee with the aid of a poor script and introducing some lame topic, like where i should go to find beads, or breadmaking, or something. If not, then it's rhythm (sp?) unplugged or soundcity or warreva.....just DULL!!! there's absolutely nothing that's remotely stimulating, or a new idea, or opens up the world, or shows what's going on in other parts of the world, or which when you've finished watching you'd think, wow, I just learned something new, nothing. just DULL. I've taken to reading but i'm afraid i'm running out of things to do to occupy my mind. Anyway, there's always sudoku...

Oh, and if anybody caught it, I was in the Guardian newspaper last weekend, in the Life magazine insert, with a picture and interview. Emilia mentioned something about it to me on Saturday but I seriously thought she was talking to a friend....i'll post a pic tomorrow (i hope!)

See me see wahala!?!

2007-02-21T18:27:00.000+03:00

Oh my...today has been one of the most trying days since my return to Nigeria. For anyone thinking of coming to work in Nigeria, please really think long and hard. When I post these things online, it's not that i'm trying to be overly dramatic, or unnecessarily negative, but I just want people to know the real of what I myself is going through. On top of that, I think i've said many times that coming to Nigeria for the time i've been here, has been an invaluable experience for me. I'd never take back the year. It's allowed me to learn more about myself and my personal and career goals than I would have if I had never moved here. There have been fun times, amazing times, but today is not one of them.

Many times, a lot of people in Nigeria, can not understand how a young person can be driven, ambitious, and successful in the workplace, based on hardwork and dedication, pure luck, and the right opportunities. I've been lucky in the sense that I found someone to guide me and whom I could look up to professionally without really searching for one. Right opportunities because they've been available and i've taken full advantage of them, and hardwork and dedication because I really poured myself into whatever project I've been working on. However as a young professional person in Nigeria, people expect you to be docile and quiet, to be a sort of shrinking violent, you know, the kind of thing that you are to be seen but not heard. And even as a woman, I can imagine that you certainly shouldn't be aggressive. I've essentially been told ALL of these today.

My problem is I don't know how to be ALL of that. And more importantly for me, I want my work to be what's important about me, not my accent, or my cultural attitudes, or gender, or even age. A friend of mine once said to me, "I can't work in Nigeria because I can't work in a country where you can never move ahead on merit." It's not a sort of glass ceiling issue oh, or even that you don't need some sort of "office politics" high IQ, but the fact that what you do almost always counts for nothing or can count for nothing at the drop of a dime. I never really understood how right that statement was until today.

However sha, I believe in the end, once you are confident about who you are, where you stand, what you've said, and your actions, the true story will always make way for you. You will always have the last laugh. Truly as I'm writing this i'm already feeling victorious because at the end of the day, I wasn't blown away by all the jealousy, envy, and maliciousness that was unleashed on me today. People can't understand why God continues to bless you so they try to cut you down. But sometimes God wants to show you just how great his promises in your life are and I'll leave it at that!

A lot of this may seem weird or disjointed, but shoo.........i saw that Tyra episode, I ain't about to give anyone an excuse to shut me down!

Happy Valentine's Day!

2007-02-14T16:58:00.000+03:00

Wow, so it's that day yet again. You know my most memorable Valentine's was last year and it had nothing to do with romance. Orientation camp started Feb.14, and that is a day that will now be forever etched in my mind. For me it always be a special day to be celebrated.......i got out, i got out, i got out! Lol.

Was watching E! News Daily 10 and Ryan mentioned something about Feb.15 being "Singles Awareness Day", how sad, lol. Us singles are not so bitter we want our OWN day, hell, we want what all y'all heffas have. Lol, don't mind me jare...

Anyway, I've been reading around blogville and i must say i didn't know we had so many romantics. Uzo has inspired me with her blog so here let me offer up a bit of what's going on through my mind:

Many of us are afraid of letting go
Afraid of feeling that hurt that someone else has left behind
Let go of that baggage
It's dragging you down and keeping others from seeing the beauty of you
What may come will come
But today's may be the one

thank you, thank you very much, i'll be here all night ladies and gentlemen. LOL. Nah, but to the special someone who may or may not be...you are a wonderful person, not because of what you can give, or because of the material things in your life, it's not because of who you know or where you've been. It's because you are a man who has managed to overcome those obstacles and managed to mold himself into something beautiful through hardwork, dedication, and faith.

Ok, enjoy lover's day y'all!

The Three Memes

2007-02-13T21:17:00.000+03:00

I haven't done a meme in a little while so I found one on Daddy's Girl's blog and liked it so here u go!

Three things I do not want to experience:
1. A true heartbreak again!
2. Losing a sibling, or a child
3. Bad turbulence in an airplane

Three people who make me laugh:
1. Lanrie
2. C
3. Koko!

Three things I love:
1. Music
2. Photography
3. Going out to restaurants

Three things I hate:
1. Duplicitous People
2. Liver
3. Taking out the trash..lol

Three things I don’t understand:
1. Economics - seriously, how did i pass this class? i'm clueless!
2. Whitney? Ray J?
3. What is it that Ray J has?!?! what?

Three things on my desk:
1. Photo of my baby cuz!
2. Post Its
3. Files to "Pass On"

Three things I’m doing right now:
1. Wondering what the hell I left on my desk...
2. Typing on the comp...duh!
3. Praying that all goes well on friday!

Three things I want to do before I die:
1. Go to Seychelles Island
2. Vacation at St. Tropez
3. Grow old!

Three things I can do:
1. Take really nice pics
2. Give good business advice
3. Be on time for appointments, meetings, etc.

Three things you should listen to:
1. Contemporary Arabic music
2. The laughter of a child
3. 50s music

Three things you should never listen to:
1. People who belittle you and your dreams
2. Negativity and Pessimism
3. Hard Rock music......lol

Three things I’d like to learn:
1. Arabic
2. How to play the piano
3. A & I

Three beverages I drink regularly:
1. Fanta Orange (i know, but that 36 degree weather ain't a joke!)
2. Water
3. Pineapple and Orange

Three TV shows I watched on NTA as a kid:
1. I don't remember any of this crap...

Three Books I read as a kid:
1. This book about some little people in their little village, it was weird!
2. Weirdly enough, a few years later, The Hobbit
3. Jane Eyre

Hola, y otra cosas......

2007-02-09T22:35:00.000+03:00

ok.......so my spanish grammar needs constant polishing, lol! How are all of y'all doing out there in blogville? Good. I'm just peachy!

Gotta say my NYSC post got quite a few comments, online and offline. A few people told me "wait till NYSC catches you" lol and others were just grateful to have the info. I'm still happy to post it sha, sometimes, u just needs to know! lol!

I'm vacationing right now.........YAY!!!..........and boy is it COLD! I hope i haven't turned into one of those relatives that come visiting and complain (is that the right spelling? it's looking weird to me..) about how ilu oyinbo (white people's country) is cold! i'm always thinking at the time these people say that like.........uhm, yeah sherlock, it's north america, we have winter here....at least look up "winter" in the dictionary before your "big trip" lol! i'm so afraid i'm turning local...i mean my cousin went to prepare chocolate pudding for her daughter yesterday and guess what the first thing that came out of my mouth was??? "you're making her ogi?!?" LOL, i mean really. I see a dark paste and the first thought in my head was ogi! And then my phone needed to be recharged and as I was going to bed, i was thinking "i better charge that thing before they take the light"........'Nuff said.

I need detoxing fast ma people....anyway, wedding television is calling, i guess i'll blog tomorrow!

NYSC 101

2007-01-26T13:33:00.000+03:00

Ok, so a lot of people ask me about NYSC. How I'm finding the process, etc. A lot of people are just scared to do it, and are curious about what exactly they'd be getting into. I remember when I was researching to come back to Nigeria I tried to scour everywhere for some info since I was absolutely clueless about everything, and I couldn't find a lot of it. But I know I would have benefitted from some of the things I'm about to expose about the NYSC so if anybody reading this is thinking of coming to Nigeria to do it, or knows someone who is coming to do it, you can just send them to this blog. Thanks to
Naija Vixen for reminding me to blog about this. So here we go:

1. Should you bother?If you've even thought about it then I would say yes. If to you, the possiblity of working/living in nigeria is even existent then you should just do it and get it over with. NO, you can't just come and work here as an expatriate. If you have a nigerian name, your company labour union/employee union COULD protest against the policy of hiring you without NYSC since it's against the law. It has happened many times over to the point that many companies now, especially multinationals will still require you have one or get one just to save the hassle.

2. What are my options? I'm being real here so let me lay it out. There are several levels of participation. Let's start from the obvious.
A. You can take your chances, submit your forms, wait to get posted, go there for camp, and work at whatever company you've been posted to.
B. You can pick the state you want to be posted, pay someone to make sure you get posted there, go to camp and work at whatever company you've been posted to OR pay someone to make sure you get posted to a company you want to work for.
C. You can pick the state, pay to make sure you get the state, go to camp, pay someone so you won't have to work after camp (many people take this option and go back abroad for the rest of the year).
D. Exactly the above but u don't go to camp, you just pay someone to post you to a place u want to work after camp.
E. Pay someone for everything (state posting, camp) you're posted to the organization you want to work. You don't really interact with NYSC at all, except to get a certificate in the end.
F. Exactly like E(state posting, camp, work) but don't work u just go back abroad immediately. You'll have a record of NYSC and that's all that really matters.
Option E&F, will cost you about N60,000-N70,000 naira. Option D will cost you about N30,000. Option C will cost about N20,000-N88,000. 88K because if you get the person to keep the totality of your monthly allowance (about N8,500), it'll end up costing you that much. Some arrange for the person to just keep a percentage of this.

What docs do I need to have with me for NYSC? I'm assuming you're a "foreign student" (studied abroad) through all this. You need the ORIGINALS, yes ORIGINALS, of your degree certificate, your transcript, your school id, your passport(s) with the page of your visa, if u needed one, your High School Diploma (yes). You need to have a valid Nigerian passport (will cost you anywhere between N10,000 and N15,000). You need to have your letter of admission into university/college. Yes, that's what I said. Make sure you do several copies of all these docs.

What do I do once I get to Nigeria? Take the above docs to NYSC Headquarters in Abuja to register. Plan a few days for your first trip to Abuja. You will have to return at least one more time. Ticket to Abuja costs about N10000-N14,000 one way from Lagos.

Ok, I have my posting letter to state You will now go to camp which will be the bane of your existence for three weeks. The first day is HELL on earth. Prepare for biting, scratching, yelling. You will learn the meaning of queueing naija style, which is NOT queueing at all, but mass shoving. You will hate yourself on this day and curse the day you were born nigerian. YOu might sleep under the moonlight.

What is camp life like? Much of this has regressed in my memory. No words on earth can do it justice. You wake up to horns at 4am when u go jogging till 6/7am. 9am u go for parade till 12noon. 430pm u do parade to 6:30pm. 10pm is lights out. They serve you "food". There's a "mammy market" area where they sell everything u would need for camp. EVERYTHING. they also have hairdressers and barbers there. Don't worry there's alcohol. There's mass for Catholics and services for other Christians. There's the equivalent for Muslims. They have bonfire night towards the end where your platoon (the group you're in) cooks, and does pagents. In the last 1 and a half weeks, there's sports. All these parts is hazy to me as I didn't participate nor cared remotely. Many people "escape" from camp within the required 3 weeks. YOu have to pay officials to do so. All levels of officials can do this for you so just find the right one and the right price. Recharge cards (for phone credit) are a popular form of payment. I will warn you, you have to have the liver OH! Better get comfortable with bribing, and bribing appropriately for this to work OR you will tay there. lol. You can also escape via the forest. No. This is not an overstatement, it's not a dream. It's a forest escape. Apart from the possible poison ivy on the way, you WILL face area boys on the outside and may have to bribe them. ALSO, you can scale the fence. This is the most hassle free way I think, but u must know how to scale a fence discreetly and the right time to do so. Goodluck!

After camp? You go to work. Once a week you have to do Community Development (CD). CD groups range from the truly meaningful - AIDS awareness with UNAID to the truly useless. Once a month, you have to go and do Clearance so as to get your allowance. This is the most important activity post camp. It is used to determine your eligibility for the certificate. That's the only thing you need to worry about really. You can pay someone so you don't have to do the weekly CD. Or you can beg to be put in Drama/Tourism group. Nothing much happens there.

Passing Out Congratulations! you are finished but not before some last grasps at making your life difficult. The only advice here is to make sure you fill the book of life. After you've done that, you're good as done. It's kind of like another registration (like the one you did in Abuja) so make sure you have all your docs as mentioned above again.

And that's it! NYSC in a nutshell, yes, you can thank me later lol. What do I think about NYSC? Well at least it's finished and I actually feel like I accomplished something, on that first day of camp, I was so sure I was never going to make it through, but I did. I have no kind words about NYSC. NONE.

To those who may have an issue with me telling it like it is, well, if you don't like it, I challenge you to do something about it to make it better. Because as ugly as all this may seem (paying off officials et al.) that's the way it is. And to those who may be concerned, I actually did all the activities INCLUDING staying in camp for the entire 3 weeks (minus two days). So don't start with me.

Enjoy!

2007-01-23T13:28:00.001+03:00

Hello lovelies.....I'm copying this thing from Rose Tinted's. It's always a good way i think for people to find out more about the blogger so here it is!

In 2006

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before?
Definately blog!!!
2. Did you keep any New Year's Resolutions?
I don't make new year's resolutions, they're so stupid. Why would I hold myself to something I committed to in a haze of partying and intoxication? Blah...
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
A few cousins..
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Dare Art Alade's mom - I had just missed her last visit and was looking forward to finally meeting her, then I heard from work that she had died...
5. Did you visit any countries?
I didnt visit any new countries...
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Loads of disposable income....a nice, committed boy wouldn't hurt!
7. Will any date from 2006 stay etched in your memory forever?
February 14 - the day NYSC camp (and much of my 2006 woes) started
8. What was your biggest achievment of 2006?
Hmm...successful integration to Naija and my nom from Future Nigeria!
9. What was your biggest failure?
I don't know.......2006 was a good year!
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
My eye infection (foreign object somehow penetrated my cornea), 2 dental surgeries, 3 cavity fillings....
11. What was the best thing you bought in '06?
nothing fab.....maybe my phone?!?
12. Did your behavior change over the year?
i think i'm a bit more aggressive, i mean I do live in Lagos where the popular slogan is "shine your eye" lol!!! (kind of a watch your back sort of thing) You become very "me-centric" here cuz a lot of people are trying to swindle you.
13. Where did you spend most of your money?
jeez.....restaurants, transportation, alcohol, and diesel (for my generator)
14. Are you happier than this time last year?
erhm........more content, yes.
- Thinner or fatter? a bit thinner
- Richer or poorer? Purchasing power parity, probably richer! lol
15. What song will remind you of 2006?
I'm sure something to do with Pussycat Dolls...
16. What do you wish you would have done more of?
travel.........south africa, maybe Ghana (though my interest in ghana has waned
17. What do you wish you would have done less of?
Don't know
18. What did you do for Christmas '06?
Was at home, feasting on some really good food and drinking champagne like it was water!
19. Did you fall in love in 2006?
Yes, and it was brilliant! though over now......
20. Did you get your heart broken in 2006?
Many times..don't think you can truly fall in love if u don't get your heart broken at least once...lol!
21. Favorite TV program of '06?
Hands down.......Grey's Anatomy.
22. Do you hate anyone now that you didnt hate this time last year?
Oh yes......
23. What was the best book you read and/or movie you saw?
Best book was Obafemi Awolowo's books, best movie was probably Syriana
24. What was your greatest discovery?
Blogger!!!
25. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
went to dinner with a few friends.........20 something lol!
26. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Erhm........
27. What kept you sane?
My girlfriends, old and new (awwww...)
28. Who was the best new person you met?
There are so many.......FSO, Lanre, B..etc
30. Who did you wish you did not meet?
George......some ghana boy idiot!
31. Who was your best friend?
Maybe Tayo..........i know he doesn't read this but if perchance he's one day drugged out enough, or bored enough to actually read this, then yes YOU! (forget it jo, i don't even think he remembers this link, lol!)
32. Who was your enemy?
i don't have enemies
33. Who do you miss?
I miss RICO!!!!!!!! I miss HC!!! I miss MY SIS!!!
34. Who will you never forget?
Zenga
35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006: We can accomplish more than we usually think we can. The strength to be all you can be is in everyone of us, u only need to believe it. I'm learning the true meaning of faith, once you understand, everything else will fall into place.
36. What will you always remember about 2006?
I moved to Nigeria, I did my NYSC, I was fortunate to experience real, and true love.

The Future Nigeria.....and my new crush!

2007-01-15T15:03:00.000+03:00

Oh wow, ladies and gents! it's been a minute hasn't it...gosh so much happening i think, it's been really hard to sit down and update. Everytime i think of something I DEFINITELY must blog about, life happens and then it'll get tossed to the side and the cycle continua. Where should I start?

THE FUTURE NIGERIA AWARDS
I have to say a big, big, big, congrats to the future nigeria...awards team, that event was fantastic and fabulous and the thing that made it for me was to think that it was all done by young nigerians like myself who are working very hard to manifest their own destiny. It's just absolutely beautiful. We danced, we laughed, we philosophized, we sang along, we listened intently and some of us even almost shed a tear while Segun Obe, Ego, and Essence took to the stage to render the national anthem. To say it was beautiful would be an understatement. Highlights for me:

Segun Obe, Ego, Essence - The Nigerian Anthem
This was just absolutely beautiful. You know when you have one of those moments when you just know that that moment was a very worthwhile moment for you, in your life. Like you'll look back and do it over and over, and over again. That was it. I was just enthralled by it all. Segun Obe's would knock ANY of our contemporary American singers out of the park any day, any time, any where. I'm talking Luther Vandross quality. Man, in nigeria we need to support our artists big time. I have always loved Ego so I wasn't surprised that she was fantastic. That is one artist I can't wait for her CD, i just hope the thing has the best of production we have to offer because that woman is talented. Essence I'd heard about before but hadn't listened to and she was great.

Infiniti - Olori Oko
My God, these guys were AMAZING. AMAZING. i can't say more, I was flabbergasted. They just owned the stage and took it away. It was like watching the Temptations. Anybody knows their management please, feel free to give their contacts.

Professional of the Year Award (my category!)
Ok, e'rybody knows I love Peter of P-Square. For some reason I don't send (don't care about) the other twin, but Peter is my dawg! Anyway so who comes out to read out the winner for my cat? no one but Peter. I see you baby! At that moment, I was wishing they'd just call out my name so Peter could roll it around in his tongue!!!! Oohhhhhhhhhh weeeeeee! So thanks to Emilia and the likes for that special gift, I know y'all must have done it for me (ahem, ahem.....)

Ok, so I didn't win and the award went to Modupe Adefeso from YDNX. Even though my special friend thinks that it's a big "diss" to my company, (I laff) but she's actually a nice young woman so I'm happy to know that another young lady doing her thing took the award. I actually thought Femi Olagbaiye from MTV woulda won, but alas........

Here's my one shout-out to any blog friends......any of you know Olaotan Coker of What's New..? magazine and PR? please help a sista out and put us in touch with each other. This is business oh! so don't no body write me about his wifey or fiancee or girlfriend or whatever. I'm a girl tryna work...........

Oh and before I even forget....who's this new crush? Well e'ryone knows I loved my Ebuka from Big Brother Nigeria but ladies and gents.......i've found a new love! WildChild/IK i'm coming for you, yes you!!!!!! Ahhhhhhh.....I swoon!

PS - Bella Naija..............thanks for all the love and shout outs!!! Sisterly love is a beautiful thing, keep doing you mama!

Merry Xmas and Happy New Yar'adua

2006-12-22T14:02:00.000+03:00

Let me first say I wish everyone a very merry xmas and a happy new year!!! This year has been fulfilling and challenging at the same time. I'm very happy to be where I am and I thank God and wish all of you (and your families!) reading this a very blessed holiday.

Okay, I had to say that upfront before I go into my angry Nigerian politics rant. How can?!? I mean how can?!?! seriously..........where did Yaradua come from? His brother is dead abeg let him enter his grave properly jare. what nonsense. I was one of the "Dukists" as it has now been coined. I truly believed in this man. He had vision, he was educated, he had exposure and most importantly of all, he had the one quality ALL nigerian politicians lack.....a sense of service to the nigerian country and nigerian people. This spirit is what I liked the most about Donald Duke. I think it's important for a new generation to experience what it's like to have a leader that believed, a leader that wants to serve. I can't explain in words how sad I am that we've all been robbed of this opportunity. There's a new generation of us who actually dared to dream and believe in this new election coming up. We wanted a new Nigeria and for once in a very very very long time, it really was remotely possible. Yes, very remotely but there was still that small chance. For me to even see the billboards for Donald Duke everywhere, to witness that was like a whiff of change. And that has been snatched from us.

"Our Fathers Have Failed Us" - so the PDP "primaries" rolled on and Yaradua's name is endorsed by the party, by the Governor's committee of sorts, signed, sealed and delivered. I'm not sure which i'm more angry at. This idiotic play of things or the evidence that this country is as far from "Democracy" as one can ever be. Nothing works. Everything is broken down. And the men up there could give a damn less. There has been fuel scarcity for the last week and the government and media have both ignored this. No reason has been asked for and no reason has been duly provided. This for a country who is the sixth largest oil producer in the world. Shame. Shameful. It's time people realized our fathers have failed us.

Whew.........

2006-12-12T17:41:00.000+03:00

The last few weeks has been such a trying week! To say work has been kicking my butt is a bit of an understatement. I already knew that end of the year brought a lot of activities and books that need to be closed and workshops that need to be finished off, but man, I had no idea! And then to make matters worse, my company has been going through some very veru tough times. Which on the outside sounds very bad but you have no idea what it's like on the inside. Nothing sinister but to try and right wrongs in a company internally is very difficult work and involves all dedication from all those who do believe in the company. And I do believe in the company and i'm determined to be at least some part of a turn around. I can't say too much because of obvious reasons but it's been trying sha. Coupled on top of that is an intensive workshop that's coming up that requires a LOT of work!! Let me take a deep breath, hmmm.......

Ok,so unto other things that's been happening. Let's see.......there's a man who works for a service provider that I think is having an issue understanding that he has to deal with me, a young, female. He's about to get it from me I swear......

There's a man that I met through the weirdest means and we've been "communicating" and i'm finding myself a bit excited by it. I haven't been that in a long time so we'll see where that goes but I won't spill the beans just yet.....

Lastly but not least..............YAY!!! I was nominated for Professional of the Year by The Future Nigeria Awards. I'm so honored to be nominated amongst all these young people that are truly fantastic and working hard to make a way for themselves. Thanks to cool chick Bella Naija for shouting me out on her page!!!!! Stay tuned here to see if I win. My homegirl Ms.Minx is also nominated in the "On-Air Personality of the Year" category alongside Wildchild, Kemistry, Ronke Apampa, Denrele Edun, Kemi Adetiba, Gbemi of Cool FM, and some others! Very proud of her.....

45 Facts about Lola

2006-12-02T18:01:00.000+03:00

Whats your name spelt backwards?: alol

What did you do last night?: Nothing much, friday night reality show night on MNET...seeing my special eppy of I Want to Be a Hilton was all worth it! (I don't know about no frikis.........LOL, still funny!!!) Oh and seeing Vanessa win Survivor South Africa made me eye water a lil bit, just a lil

The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?: I wish my comp could connect to the internet but I refuse to pay $100/month for service, ain't happening.

Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?: Ehr.......no?!?! why?!?

Last time you swam in a pool?: High School when I thought i was drowning...

What are you wearing?: Black Skirt and Banana Republic top plus a white lab coat...don't ask..

How many cars have you owned?: In my dreams?!?!.....

Type of music you dislike most?: Heavy metal music

Are you registered to vote?: By the end of next week I promise...Donald Duke for 2007!!!

Do you have cable?: Dstv/Mnet

What kind of computer do you use?: Always a HP

Ever made a prank phone call?:LOL.......of course. With that robotic voice that'll call any number in US & Canada and spurt whatever you type online. I used to type freakish rants with cuss words per second and call random folks with it....lol!

You like anyone right now?: hmmm....that guy from Silverbird Entertainment I think...

Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?: Probably sky diving one of these days.

Furthest place you ever traveled?: Toronto to Boston.......on GREYHOUND!!! took 18 hours man...can't forget that day.

What's your favorite comic strip?: XMen

Do u know all the words to the national anthem?: Naija, Canada, American, South African, i think there's an African American one too that's hiding somewhere in my brain.

Shower, morning or night?: Morning of course...but these days with the dust and harmattan, you gotta do nights too.

Best movie you've seen in the past month?: As sad as it seems I haven't seen many movies lately.....maybe Devil Wears Prada?!?!

Favorite pizza toppings?: Green Peppers, Mushrooms, and Extra Cheese...hmmmm I'm sure Afia get's this!

Chips or popcorn?: Probably popcorn

What cell phone provider do you have?: MTN Nigeria

Have you ever smoked peanut shells?: Ehr...........?!?!

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?: Ehr.......no

Orange Juice or apple?: Orange and Pineapple is the shit y'all

Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?: Sochi

Favorite chocolate bar?: Kit Kat (although I should probably be saying Dairy Milk?)

Who is your longest friend and how long?: just posted about this.....probably Sola in strict year terms but i'm not too close with her so I'll say Afia

Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?: don't know man...probably back in like 1990.

Have you ever won a trophy?: I'm sure I have but I can't remember.

Favorite arcade game?: Oh gosh i cant remember.

Ever ordered from an infomercial?: Nope

Sprite or 7-UP?: 7-up, I hate the Coca Cola company...

Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?: Yes in Nigeria and at work on mondays we have to wear this red shirt that's provided, it's compulsory so some people call it uniforms....

Last thing you bought at Walgreens?: My passport photo

Ever thrown up in public?: I'm not really the throw up type

Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?: Money...love is great but it don't pay the bills....unless it's love with a rich dude?!?!

Do you believe in love at first sight?: hmm, maybe. the first day I met who turned out to be the great love of my life, i was very very attracted...was it love? i don't know

SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Did you have long hair as a young kid?: lol......no

What message is on your voicemail machine?: voicemail? in naija? who wan waste credit for that kin tin?

Where would you like to go right now?: St. Tropez

What’s the name of your pet?: Used to have a cat, Lulu. Her nickname was Chiquita. or u could call her Lulu Chiquita.

What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?: Dont own a back pack

What do you think about most?: God, Death, Success, Money, Friends, Family, Boys :o)

Funny thing happened today...I went to the local cybercafe cuz i couldn't leave the house for too long (i'm at work now but anyway..)so I get there and the guy there starts flirting in that stupid annoying way that all naija guys think they can so i'm irritated already. I sit down and he's like "you need to switch computers that one is for our stubborn customers..." i'm like ok, wharreva, is this one faster? he says yes. So I sit and log on and wait and wait and wait for like 10min for a page to open. At this point i'm exasperated and i'm like "is this the one you say is fast?" dude acts all stupid and says yes why? "Umm, i've been waiting for 10min for ONE page to load".....he now looks at me in the most annoying annoying way with that stupid dumb accent people try to return at me when I speak, he says "oh wow, you've been looking for a page? waiting for a page? that's something, looking for a page..." He then gets up to move unwantedly very very close to me and starts pressing F8 on the key pad. I just log out, grab my bag, get up and leave.

I mean what the F? can u fix the dumb computer u idiot dirty, local, playboy wannabe...jeez!

This and That

2006-11-28T13:20:00.000+03:00

my mind's a little all over the place today..........have so much stuff mulling over in my heard and not much time to blog. My work is kicking my butt at the moment, it's very hard to be brilliant u know!!!! hehehe. but seriously thought i'm under pressure from my self and from "the big boss" to be exceptional at all times so the race is on...Anyway, this entry will be a bit disjointed sha.

First, something's been bugging me lately that i must blog about. It's that i've noticed that some people are so fake. Their relationships are largely periphereal, conditional type of friendships/relationships. As in, "ore asiko" (friend of the moment). When their moons change or their tides change, they quickly shed their skin and are on to the next thing. Some people tend to mistake that for being a "lean, mean" sort of go-getter. They misinterpret it as being focused but in reality it's more like tunnel vision and it's not a positive thing. I can't fathom living life like that. Me, i value the relationships in my life. If i don't like you as a person then I just ain't gonna bother with you but if I do then i'm a "ride or die chick", i'm with ya till the end. I'm a loyal friend and it just sucks that not everyone you meet is like that.

Which brings me to the second point, Friendships. Like I said anyone that knows me knows that i extremely value the friends in my life. They are absolutely my support system. People that love me and accept me for who I am, they know me and know that "the chick is a lil crazy" but it's alright u know. Let me shout out a few of them:
Afia - or 'Fifi or 'Fia. Afia is pretty much my longest running friend. I guess about six years now (i have friends for longer but we're not as tight as perhaps we were before so it's not the same). 'fia is a special babe on her own. She looks so small and timid but let no man be fooled, she packs a punch!!! I'm always amazed that guys always single her out and become very smitten with her very quickly cuz they think she's shy..........that girl is FREAKY y'all lol, lol. (Sorry Fia :o) ) One of the many cool things about Afia is that she's not judgemental and you can just call her and talk about ANYTHING. Nothing shocks this babe and she'll give you an objective point of view. She's also good at reminding you that "please, girl u can't do that ish....you broke!!!" yeah yeah yeah.

Enite - Enite is a party hard kinda girl. That's why there are many people out there who wouldn't believe that she's a more serious minded person than me! Her play time and her work time are very well delineated, she's a work hard, play hard sorta babe. Enite can be at the bar downing body shots of Vodka (i said body shots o!) but next morning she'd be very sad cuz one of her old patients is not feeling well or something. And she's a nurse! And a very hardworking and dedicated one too. She'll tell you the real too and is someone you can trust not to go gossiping cuz she really can't be bothered. Good peeps.

And then there's Dipo, Nicholas, Tayo et al. I would write blurbs on all of them but i just realized i'm tired so guess not...a simple shout out will do, sorry guys!

Thirdly, I've realized lately that i'm very proud of myself o! Very very proud of myself. A lot of people always ask me how I got my job, who do i know. And i'm like, no one. I did it on my own. Or who is the someone special that persuaded me to come to nigeria and i'm like, no one. I just did it. And there are many people that think and even convinced that the "big boss" and I have some sort of link, that's why he's shown confidence in me and i have to respond again. No. Nothing. It's my hard work and dedication and belief that nothing's impossible and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I really believe that. I've had so much opportunity come to me in the last year, that i have to wake up in the mornings and just give thanks to God. When I look at what i'm coming from, in the reality, and look at where things are now and how bright the future is, it's nothing short of amazing. Black Enterprise magazine used to have a feature on the top 100 businesswomen in America and everytime that issue came out, I used to read and read and reread every single profile. I even cut out the covers one time and pasted it in this book I had of what I wanted to acheive in my life. I remember that book and i'm happy cuz somehow, I can really see it. The path has actually cleared and it's not that far.

Finally, if one more ex of mine get married to the next girl they dated after me, I'm gonna SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!

My Darling Daddii

2006-11-24T12:01:00.000+03:00

Today's my dad's memorial. November 24. I can hardly believe two years has passed. Time waits for no one indeed. This following is something I wrote last year September and I think it goes well here....

Everyone was downstairs, gathered around the t.v mindlessly watching whatever 20/20 was feeding the nation. I walked upstairs. My dad was lying on the bed and the room was dark, as usual. It's like the further his health slipped, the farther hope was, the darker he wanted to keep his surroundings. So I entered, turned on the light and lay next to my father. He said "so u think we should do the Germany treatment." we had been discussing treatment options for the last two weeks. The family was divided. We all knew anything from now on would be palliative so the issue at hand wasn't how do we cure this but how do we keep him alive the longest. A doctor in Atlanta promised 6 more months with his immunotherapy which focuses on strengthening the immune system to battle the invasive effects of cancer. This treatment was costly. The other option was an Ukrain Therapy with a German doctor in ulm, germany. Ukrain was a new cancer treatment gaining momentum around the world but illegal in the United States mainly because of the pharmaceutical companies not being able to trademark it and making money off of it. Still, ukrain has been documented to prolong life for 11months. This treatment was extra costly. My mother and sister felt Atlanta is cheaper and more accesible to us, we'd be able to be with my dad the whole way while germany is largely a huge risk, costlier, and would take my dad away from the family for 3weeks. Time which really was running out. However as a researcher I read the graphs and the statistics and if Ukrain could keep my dad alive for 11 more months, then that is the way to go. My dad agreed with me so we were now just in a battle to convince the rest of the family. We talk treatment options. Just he and I in darkly lit room upstairs, on his bed. Then my dad bursts into tears. Starts crying in a very hopeless way. He said to me, "I don't want to die Lola, I don't want to die. I want to see you kids grow up, I want to see you get married and I want to see my grandkids. I don't want to die." I think at that moment we both knew that no matter how much he wished it, no matter what treatment, the reality is, he IS going to die and he IS dying. I want to cry too but I know that all my dad has left is hope. So I turn to him and tell him how proud I am of him. How proud I am of the way he is handling this whole thing, that I don't know anyone else who would be dealing with this with the same dignity and strength that he has been. I tell him that this is a hard thing for anyone to go through. how would anyone else react when their doctor says to them, you have at the most, 6wks left to live? I tell him at that very moment I respect and admire and love him not just as a dad but as a human being. I said he's alright. He stops crying and holds my hand. He always held my hand, and we just lay there, counting the moments. I knew that was going to be the most poignant point of my life.

I remember when I was young, my dadwas everything a little girl dreams of. To me he was strong, handsome, funny. He loved me and protected me. A smart, intelligent businessman who travelled the entire span of the world. I never got along much with my mother but my dad and I from day ONE were buddies...I remember being maybe 5/6 and we'd have guests and i'd still run into his arms and just sit there. whenever he was away on business and got back, I would run into his room and as he put his luggage away I would rat on every single person in the household and tell him everything everyone had been doing . I was his little secretary too when i was like 10. I'd help balance his checkbook, call his suppliers and tell them to "hold for your caller"..... he was a giant to me, a superman. From much younger he told me anything a man can do a woman can do so don't let anyone tell u because you are a woman blah blah blah. When I was older he said stay true to yourself and never let a man railroad you. The very first laptop I owned my dad had gift wrapped and sent it
to me in college for Valentine's Day. Always encouraged, always held my hand, there were times it felt like it was he and I against the world. The strongest man I knew and I had to stand and watch as literally he shriveled up and disappeared right in front of my eyes. I had a conversation once with my mother yesterday and she told me the day before my father died, he called her and said to her that for him, she has to really really take care of me and guide me, and support me. Even as he lay dying, he did think of me. At the morgue, I held his hand and even though it was cold, it felt familiar and it felt comforting and I just knew everything would be ok. And it is.

It's so weird when you have a parent die. Especially if you tie so much of your identity to that person. You lose that aspect of your life forever and are left wondering if all those aspects of your identity still exists if the person whom they stemmed from is dead. There's no day I don't think of my dad. None. Especially with me being in Nigeria. My Dad would have been soooo ecstatic to see it happen. He would have been OVER the moon. We always dreamt it together and when it came time for me to actually make that big step, he wasn't even around to see it. To be proud of it. Sometimes I forget that he's no longer here and want to rush to the phone to call him and gist about some of my experiences here. I can imagine we would have stayed on the phone for hours :o)! Or sometimes I think of some of those few last moments when even as it happened I knew I was going to cherish the moment forever. One of such moments was during Howard Dean's democratic "crazy rant"...........we were talking about it and my dad was like how crazy is that?!?!?! and he proceeded to re-enact the whole thing................."from here it's to Vermont, to OHIO, TO BOSTON, AND RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"................lol, all crazy like. lol, lol. Or when we finally convinced him to take the codeine pills he soooo refused to take, and he took it and within minutes just jumped up, and started joking around like his normal self. And my sis and I were joking that he's a druggie, he's high....................... :o) Man, if I were to write about my dad, my journey with him in this life, our journey with cancer et. al. it would take forever. But it will all sum up to this:

I love my Dad.
I miss my Dad.

THANKS YBF!!!!

2006-11-18T12:49:00.000+03:00

Okay y'all......................I love YBF's blog and all, but for this........................................I'M IN LOVE!!!! how could she have known that this is Lola's "dream team". To me these two brothers are the sexiest brothas in The Hood for realz. I'm not one of those babes who likes pretty boys at all. I like me some rough rugged, African looking mo'fuckas. None of that primping, light skinned brotha bs. That thing ticks me off man! I have a few friends that have been amazed at who I think is attractive. Many a time we'll be talking and they'd name some guy who's all oiled down and mean mugging the camera and be like "Lola.........Lola.non? no? nada?" And i'm like yeah whatever. I mean who wants to get with someone who looking at the mirror is turning his OWN self on, like damn, i'm too sexy, I wish I could sex meself......AARGH! Which just brought to mind a friend of mine. MAAAAN, if y'all see this mudrucka, you'd be amazed. This man dances like he's in sex me video ALL the time, you just always end up feeling sorry for which ever poor girl he's dragged up from her seat only because he wants to show himself off. The girl is probably cowering in the corner and my friend who i'll call K.M. is just at it, working on a baby....................all by himself! There was this one time and I was completely amazed by what was happening in front of my eyes. KM was in one corner "dancing" frantically, sexing himself up, and his girlfriend was at the other end of the dancefloor doing the same thing, you just expect that any minute now, a baby would just plop out, roll to the middle and proceed to show off his own "too sexy for my neck moves" i mean completely amazing. it was just mesmerizing and intense to watch. I mean, HOW DID THEY FIND EACH OTHER?!?!?! and to think KM's bro does exactly the same thing....it's wild!

But anyway, let me just not digress further......so here's Idris Elba and dude from "Remember the Titans". Don't know homie's name, but ah well.......he fine, he don't need no name!

Blah.....................

2006-11-16T18:59:00.000+03:00

I've just been in a sort of funky mood lately. Nothing much going on but the usual, and if there is, i'm not too much into it. Ah well, just the way the cookie crumbles I guess. I just don't go out as much as I used to do anymore, either it's work, or seriously, i'd just much rather stay home in my time off. Although there are a few places that are just cropping up that i'd love to visit. that place that's above St. Elmos on Awolowo Rd, Ikoyi, can't remember what it's called jare. I think there's another one on that road. Perhaps this weekend i'll venture out again.

Perhaps one of these day's i'll do a post on Eko Tourist Beach, which is like, my favorite place in Lagos I think. It's so beautiful there. If per chance.....very slim, very very slim one..........i get proposed to in Nigeria, it has to be there. It's just lovely. Ah well......long day, gotta head home now. thinking about buying diesel for the gen and paying cable bills.............arghhhh..........!

Nigeria is DEAD!!!

2006-10-31T17:45:00.000+03:00

Never has the opiatic, under-developing effect of religion in Nigeria been so clear to me as it was last night, watching NTA. There will be no major change in the way aviation is run here, so long as the crash is classified as an Act of God, and our response to it conditioned to be one of prayer. Religion Nigerian-style numbs every sinew of the body, freezes the brain, and erodes any possibility of rational response, and above all, transformative action. It is, at present, a malign force – a force which does not transform, which does not heal. It is, as Soul says, the most vicious colonial effect

Why is this country so.........so.....so....stupid?!?! I mean seriously. I was reading the above blog and the thing just hit me like a bus. I am one person that didn't really bother too much about the plane crash. Not because i don't feel for the ones that lost their lives, but i'm just tired of everything going wrong with the infrastructure and nothing being done about it. I guess i've just been resigned and complacent, and i guess that's just not good enough. I mean someone, somewhere's just gotta start fighting for the right things to be done at the right time. I don't know, this bug's just been awakening itself in me lately. I went to one of these dinners that i usually go to and someone said something quite interesting to me, she said "what's scary about nigeria is not that many people (qualified or not) want to run for president but that there's NO ONE that wants to run for the local council chairman. what's happening down there?!?!" Now that's a very scary thought with sooo many repercusions. For one, does it mean that people are just "placing their friends" in these positions? Does it mean that no one cares about the ordinary people? Or does it mean our top politicians are really unqualified and unproven? ALL very grim options my people. I have a friend who's running for House of Reps. Very young guy, maybe about 27. He has inspired me really. I think many other young people should start thinking about it. Start at the bottom level.

Now on to this airplane crash. This get's me so angry now. NOTHING is going to get done about this you know. We'll all gnash our teeth, and read newspapers voraciously in pity, but outside of that. NOTHING. Which kind of country is this were people won't lift a finger to even better their own selves. And we are all guilty.

ARIYA Redux...........

2006-10-28T19:14:00.000+03:00

Ok, first before i go into anything else. I just read Minx's blog and that babe is looking for my trouble o............YO MRS MINX or wharreva una call yourselves.......take time o, what is this obsession with Ebuka?!?! lay off partna! You don't want no cyber WHA?.........GIRLFIGHT!!

whooo........ok. i'm good now. second thing. there are very specific moments where I just love my job. I've only been working for a few months but i've gotten to meet and interact with a few peeps. Relatively cool peeps anyway. Mrs. Remi Tinubu, First Lady of Lagos for one, quite unexpectedly, inspired me, i first met her a few months ago and she threw me with how much poise she has. Job is cool people, job is cool.

Ok to da main event....(drumroll please - for me sista abeg just do it!)..............

ok, it's a bit dark but i'll try and lighten it up and repost tomorrow.....but yup, i was at the King Sunny Ade birthday dinner yesterday. I was very excited and it was beyond my dreams. I didn't realize how much I myself loved KSA until he was right there in front of me. And you start thinking, "man, this man wrote and sang all those lovely songs....man, this man is GENIUS, and he's nigerian..." it was amazing. I felt really really proud to be a Nigerian then. The event was organized by Special Events which is owned and operated by this young girl, maybe about 26/27 and she did really well for herself. It was attended by the First Lady of Lagos State Remi Tinubu (have i said how much i love this lady?!?!?), the Oba of Lagos and a few other Obas, Florence Ita Giwa, Jimoh Ibrahim, Dr. Kuku, and i'm sure a few other big girls and boys that for the life of me I wouldn't know about. When Jimoh Ibrahim came in and there was a huge rush of people, I was so clueless!!! Man..........these guys must really wonder where the hell I dropped from. For those who don't know, Jimoh Ibrahim owns Eko Hotel, Nicon Airways and some other things I can't remember right now.

Anyhoo...........I sha felt blessed to be there, just hope none of my pics end up in City People...(that's my fervent hope and prayer these days!)

FAREWELL, LEBO......

2006-10-25T12:42:00.000+03:00

I'm so saddened to write about the death of South African super sensation Lebo Mathosa who died in a car crash early Monday morning. She was only 29. Lebo had been performing most of her life and was part of the hugely successful South African group Boom Shaka. She released her first solo cd entitled "Dreams" in 2000, which went on to win her three South African music awards. She released her second solo album in 2004 entitled "Drama Queen". Lebo was asked to perform at Nelson Mandela's 85th birthday at which she was then handpicked to be the top act at the launching of MTV Africa. She's one of the most versatile and energetic singers in the African music scene and she was also an actress, appearing on several hit TV shows such as Backstage, Muvhango, and Generations (my favorite!).

Lebo was my absolute favorite African artist. She had so much presence and so much energy you couldn't help but be mesmerized by her and her voice was sooo big. To me, she symbolized a new African woman. In charge, and unafraid. She also reminded me of Brenda Fassie, the great singer who died a few years ago. But everyone saw that familiarity and always asked her about it. In an interview when asked about how she feels on taking over Fassie's throne, Lebo said that there's no way that could happen since Fassie is a legend and no matter what she does she will always be following the footsteps of the great singer. Somehow I liked that response. It sounded quite humble for this woman who is also fastly becoming a legend herself. And then on MTV base, i also heard her speak and she sounded so soft and her love for music and Africa just shone through so brightly. Immediately I identified with this woman. One of her songs, really has been a mantra for me from the moment I heard it, "Brand New Day". Seriously, everyday I get up, that song is always playing in my head and i just get that jolt of energy to get up and appreciate another day.

I'm so so saddened by this woman's death, i don't know, maybe because in so short a while somehow, her life touched me. And then i've just been thinking about death lately. How it grips us without our consent and some so young in their lives. It's very sad. My neighbour Tola Okoya-Thomas recently passed on from breast cancer and that death affected me so much. She was only 28 and she was so beautiful. She had just given birth to twins just two weeks before she died. I mean why are all these young ones dying so............young? what time is there in 28 years?!?! Life truly is short and we've got to live every single moment. I was also reading someone's blog where they were so saddened by the loss of a dear one, another blogger and that really saddened me as well. Young lives, young lives....... I always say one thing though, people, let's always be careful about the words that come out of our mouths. My mom always used to say you never know which kinds of spirits are passing by and will take your words up. Always be positive, talk positively about life, be full of energy and hope for the next day.

I'll leave with this quote from dear Lebo Mathosa when asked to comment after Brenda Fassie's death, she said "You can't deny death, you can't fear it. I'm sure God has a better place for us, if you're a believer". If you are a believer.

The Fours

2006-10-18T10:15:00.000+03:00

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE (the interesting ones!)
1. Lingerie Specialist - Plus Size Store (yup, proud of this one!)
2. Market Research/Focus Group Interviewer
3. Bingo Attendant (I called out the numbers of the card when someone yelled BINGO!)
4. Customer Service Rep - Insurance

FOUR FICTIONAL JOBS YOU WISH YOU HAD
1. Storm from Xmen
2. MTV VJ
3. Beyonce's job (wharreva it is!)
4. First Lady of Nigeria (yes, and i'm a feminist, u got something to say?!?!)

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
1. The Preacher's Wife
2. Shrek 2
3. Best Man
4. Kill Bill 2

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN
1. Lagos, Nigeria
2. Toronto, Canada
3. Ottawa, Canada
4. Boston, Massachusetts

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1. Greys Anatomy
2. Survivor South Africa
3. Gilmore Girls - can't help it, i love Logan
4. Sopranos (i've recently fallen back in love with this show!)

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION/TRAVELED TO
1. New York, USA
2. London, England
3. Abuja, Nigeria
4. Littleton, Colorado, USA

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY
1. www.hotmail.com
2. www.naijarules.com
3. www.bellanaija.com
4. www.google.com / www.gmail.com

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS
1. Tofu Stir-fry with Wheat Pasta (i really really like it, i swear!)
2. Spicy Salmon Sushi (again, anyone loves me wants to take me to Bonzai?!?!)
3. Eggs - anyhow
4. Chilli Prawns

FOUR THINGS YOU WON'T EAT
1. Red Meat
2. Amala
3. Dogs
4. "Bush Meat" - whadda hell?!?!

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD EAT OR DRINK RIGHT NOW
1. Pad Thai
2. Veggie Lasagna
3. Chicken Shawarma from Mango's
4. Greek Salad from Cosi

FOUR THINGS IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. My bed
2. Mirror
3. My magazines
4. My ankaras - yay!!!!!!!!!!

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. Walk-in closet
2. Someone to clean it
3. TV
4. Internet

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. Black pants
2. Black bead bracelet
3. Peach Blouse
4. Livestrong band - yup, it ain't about fashion for moi!

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. Seychelles Island
2. London, visiting with my cousin's baby!
3. Budapest (i don't know, almost visited there once and since it's been on the list of places to go)
4. St. Tropez

FOUR FICTIONAL PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. On Cloud 9
2. Visit that city where Gilmore Girls live...
3. Somewhere over the rainbow
4. Tony Soprano's house

FOUR PEOPLE YOU’D REALLY LOVE TO HAVE DINNER WITH
1. John Legend
2. Beyonce
3. Kanye West
4. Bill Clinton

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW
1. Hillary Clinton would be snooty
2. I'm gonna have to work at some point today....i'm so lazy right now
3. Can the lady behind me read what i'm writing?
4. I don't know how to clear the damn items....(don't ask!)

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS
1. My family
2. VI/Lekki Phase I (let's not say Lagos!)
3. My new ankara dress
4. "Upgrade You" - Beyonce (i'm loooooooving this song!)

FOUR PEOPLE YOU TAG
Jeez, I don't know, i don't even think i know that much people that blog!

Yeah, it really IS Jigga

2006-10-10T11:04:00.000+03:00

Ok, so I wasn't at the ThisDay Music Festival that held over this past weekend at Polo Club in Ikoyi. Which, let's be honest really sucks. The tickets were 25k per person or 100k per person VIP. I knew i didn't want to do the 25k thing, cuz if there's one thing i'm afraid of, it's nigerian crowds. Just my one experience at The Vault for the Big Brother eviction party, was enough to make up my mind. Pushing, shoving, too much "stushness", etc. So I wasn't gonna do that. Contemplated the 100k ticket for about a minute but then again, i came to the conclusion that it probably was a bad spending idea. I mean 100k could get me return tickets to europe, dubai, or south africa, definitely to ghana with some left over! Plus this is nigeria. After you spend your 100k they'll now tell you that there's a VIP extra and you can't go past that door (did any of y'all see that frasier episode?!)

Anywho, international artists were Beyonce, Jayz, Snoop Dogg, Busta Rhymes, Ciara, Missy, and En Vogue. Plus some local acts...Dare Art Alade, D'banj, Tuface, Weird MC etc. I am actually quite proud of this event as I heard that at least the first night (with the top stars) went ahead without any hitch. Everyone keeps saying it was well organized which is a very big deal for nigeria. Ciara spoke some Yoruba and Beyonce sang the national anthem, which everyone is saying is the BEST they've ever heard it, so it's ALL good! Seriously I still can't believe that they pulled it off. Y'all should have seen the pic of Snoop at Murtala, I just CRACKED UP!!!! the man just looked like he was sweating like a Christmas goat, he didn't look so sleek.............Lagos heat'll do that to ya! This is definitely another sign that Nigeria is on the up and up. I don't care what anyone says about Obasanjo, but his administration have seen a lot of development in the economy, opening up of the image of Nigeria, and confidence in the country the world over. At least those are good things. So keep it up Nigeria & Nigerians!

Sorry about the quality of the pic, but hey, it's a newspaper, whaddya want?!?!

To Date or Not to Date

2006-10-02T15:59:00.000+03:00

Has religion ever played a role in whether you date someone or not? Like right now, i'm having an issue with this. Really, i've never really gave a second thought to it. You like a guy, he likes you, good. We'll start with that and the rest of the stuff will work itself out. Any human's fundamental right includes the right to choose one's religion i believe and to choose and practice it freely, without condemnation. But would you as a christian, date a man who asks you to cover your hair in public? can you fast together during Ramadan? can you celebrate Salar together? Can you be quiet and take a background when he and other men are talking?!?! Are these stereotypes?!?! I know there are varying degrees of this. Some take a strictly orthodox view and some are little more liberal in their interpretations, but i'm saying y'all, this guy is kinda on the strict side. It's scary. And he's here assuring me that all that matters is the relationship between the two............uhm....NOT SO SURE BUDDY! He's like "my own pops married an Ibo woman who's not muslim so my family and myself are not like that"..............right, but HELLOOO?!?!!!!! YOU ARE, which says a lot about which side of the religion coin was winning in that household. hmmm..........i don't know sha. If there are any Hausa ladies or guys reading the blog, pls drop a note! Have you dated outside the religion and how difficult or easy was it?!?!

Considering that right now i'm loving Hausa boys, I may need to delve further it all of this. Dude was telling me about some sort of a celebration involving an Emir, complete with horse riding and full turban wear and everything, and warning me that, hmm............"you can't wear all that spaghetti strap things oooo!!!!" I'm already scared! But i tell him that shebi all those oyinbo women film these things for National Geographic, that i'd be fine. He's like, "have you ever seen video footage of inside the Emir's palace?" which i really haven't so now i'm really really scared.......me, i don't want to offend anyone o!

Oh, and when someone says "May God save and keep us all"............can i say "Amen, in Jesus' name?!?!"

I need answers!

Ariya!!!

2006-09-28T16:17:00.000+03:00

Hmmm...........no one ask me how to translate "ariya"...........maybe enjoyment? partying? i don't know sha, but this entire post is dedicated to the one, the only, Minister of Enjoyment, King Sunny Ade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (applause, applause, applause)

Now KSA as he is very affectionately called has many things going on lately. Firstly, he's my almost birthday mate on September 22nd. This year however marks our great KSA's 60th birthday and the 40th anniversary of his band. He's having a celebration week in October kicked off by his performance at the ThisDay Music Festival (which claims to have Beyonce, Jayz, Missy, Snoop, Busta Rhymes, Mary J, among others, notice i said claimed, cuz i've heard me some stories...). Hopefully if all goes well sha, I should be attending that dinner. But looking forward to this event has got me thinking about our dear KSA. What makes him so great?!?!

Well, for me and many Nigerians, KSA signifies enjoyment, the good times, the party times. The times you danced your ass off at parties with your cousins to see who would make the most money via "spraying". It's indeed the soundtrack to many, if not all of our milestone moments and fondest childhood & growing up memories: birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, naming ceremonies, everything. At least as a Yoruba. But many people from other ethnicities enjoyed his music as well. One thing I have come to appreciate about KSA is that he has made it a policy not to delve into political matters in the least bit. He has even said of his contemporaries such as the late great Fela Anikulapo-Kuti, that they chose to go that route but for him, it was not an option. His music is solely for the sake of music, for merriment, to make people feel good, even if for a moment. And one thing we need in Nigeria is that! So this Independence Day period, let's all take a moment to appreciate this wonderful ambassador of our country as part of our celebrations.

As for me, i'll come back and gist y'all about the dinner, should be great!

Aunty Wendy & Her Colleagues

2006-09-18T18:27:00.000+03:00

Hmmm.....where do i even begin? Interesting things happen to and around me every single week of working in Lagos. Some are just crackle worthy why others just leave you wondering why? I mean why EVERYTHING? why must people behave this way, why am i here again? etc...

Anyway so I call the receptionist at my office to book a meeting room. Now, I've done this once before so obviously i didn't think there would be any issues. Alas, how wrong was I! Peep the convo:
ME: hello wendy! (all cheerful) good afternoon, i'd like to book a room please.
HER: who is this
ME: Lola from Marketing. FT
HER: OK. From now on, I'd prefer you to call me "Miss Wendy"
ME: unh?!?! (considering that this lady is unmarried and 31 years at MOST!) ok, well, i'd like it if you don't call me Lola anymore, call me FT. (i mean WTF?!? two can play this dumb game)
SHE: okay.

So I proceeded to book the room. Meanwhile my brain is still thinking what the hell?!?! So after the booking, I continue the matter at hand:
ME: 'scuse me do you have an initial?
HER: i don't use my initials
ME: well it's company policy so.....
HER: WFO
ME: great. I'll call you WFO then....
HER: (cuts in) i said i don't use my initia....
ME: (cutting in) well, i only feel comfortable calling you that so that's what i'll call you. bye.

I mean seriously?!?! I should call her Miss Wendy?!?! who dash her? abeggi jo. Wonders shall never end. Come to find out that later that that's her regular stunt with corpers. Unfortunately for her, she backed up the wrong tree!

This story now leads me to other incredulous things i've heard in this workplace. Let me share a few.
ME: (walking gaiely to my office)
WEIRD DUDE: LOLA T-----
ME: (thinking wtf? turns) yes......?
W.D: can i give you a hug?
ME: (thinking WTF?!?) NO.
W.D: i've been seeing you around.
ME: unh, unh..
W.D: can i shake your hand?
ME: uhm, ok.

Or how about this one.
DUDE: do you play sports
ME: no, why.
DUDE: well......never mind
ME: why now?
DUDE: well, i think it's very sexy
ME: uhm, ok.
---------------------------------------

Wonders shall indeed never end around here...............you won't believe some of the other things i've heard around here. I can imagine anyone ever filing a sexual harassment lawsuit arouund here.......!

Birthday Dilemma......

2006-09-12T17:31:00.000+03:00

My oh my, how am I going to spend my birthday this year?!?!? This thing is creating so much dilemma for me and to top it all off, a friend of mine has given me a deadline for alerting people to the date and venue (thanks Mimi....jeez, can a girl live without the pressure?) So now i'm going all crazy trying to pick a venue before deadline September 13. See, there are many people out there who are the "i don't celebrate birthdays" type, and then there are the "small, quiet, family affair" type, then the "only milestones" type. Me, i don't send all of that. ALL birthdays should be celebrated simple. All of them. I can't understand how people can choose not to do so. I mean, seriously, it's always a once-in-a-lifetime affair. Birthdays started becoming fun for me on my 18th birthday. I had just started college in Ottawa, Canada where before school started i had NEVER even been and my bday(yes, i used the term b4 Bee o!!!) being in September, I hadn't even had the chance to meet some anyone properly then. So I remember getting up early that morning, getting on my knees and said my prayers. I just felt particularly moved that day (thinking back now, probably was just PMSing but sha...) so I prayed very fervently and started to cry cuz i felt so overwhelmed by it all. Sad and happy and thankful at the same time (thinking back again, maybe it had something to do with the Save the Children marathon i saw that morning on tv, but sha....) Here I was in Ottawa, which i never really wanted to come to, away from home for the first time EVER in my life, and really, I was doing okay. And then I thought about all the people around the world, who dream and plan their 18th and for some reason or other never made it. Like a few of my high school classmates that died in that drunk driving accident, or my good friend that died on vacation in Senegal. Or many yet who are spending their birthday so hungry and poor that birthday is the LAST thing on their mind. I thought of how their are many people who dreamed and wish they had all the opportunities that I have at that age. So that morning I made I resolution to always make each birthday count and to always celebrate my life, God keeping me, to celebrate the good things around me, my friends and specifically my girlfriends, my family, my sister, my brothers, good food, good wine, good music, everything. Just be happy, thankful, and grateful.

Anyway, so that night I went out to some french pub in Quebec (drinking age is 18 over there!) with this oyinbo babe....i think Brenda or something is her name......she was my only friend in Ottawa at the time, she had bright pink hair, wore too much black eye shadow, drank too much and was with her oyinbo boyfriend who was bald and had a big snake tatooed across his neck. Still it was fun and was fab!!! And then there was the birthday at Big Daddy's Crab Shack, my favorite restaurant in Ottawa, with my girlfriends, that was a very good bday. Oh, and that bday I invited 200 people to my party. I don't think that party was quite a hit, but it was quite a lot of fun planning and cooking with my girlfriends (at the time!). And then the party where somehow I forgot to invite all the babes! (in reality i had no more than 3 girlfriends and never thought that the over 12 guys I invited would like.........ehrm...options!!!!). Or I think of the breakfasts that never materialized......lol! Last year I think was my best one so far. I went to Virginia/Maryland for the weekend. Spent most of the day at Dipo's and I think he cooked, can't remember. Now those of you that know D know homie can cook, so that was cool. Or was that the day we went to Olive Garden?!?! can't remember sha, but it's not the day that was most important. Night came, and i decked out and looked FABULOUS that night i know, and we went to Dream. Only to find out it was a private party but we finagled our way in (I still think it's cuz i looked HOT!!!). Only to get downstairs and guess who's hosting the party?!?!???? WYCLEF. It was like I had died and gone to heaven. I LOVE LOVE LOVE wyclef. so that was tres cool.

Which brings me back full circle to this upcoming birthday and it's dilemma. Maybe someone reading this blog can help me out by way of comments!!! Ok, so here are the options:

1. Eko Hotel Sports Cafe - it's buffet style. Food is not that spectacular but hey, they got hummus, good hummus too! But i don't know......it's a bit impersonal i think.

2. Churrasco's - Brazilian and they have all you can eat meat! Prob is i don't eat red meat but on the plus side, they are very good with drinks!!! This atmosphere is more like it i think, very social, loud, everything that's cool. i don't know.....the meat thing?!?!

3. Yellow Chillies - Nigerian and generally black type foods (curry goat, etc.) but very good food, I really liked it when i went for a friend's lunch there. But i'd like to do something different I think. But their peanut chicken is hmmm.........

4. Marco Polo - Chinese, my favorite restaurant in Lagos. BUT, since people are making me pay for everything (why oh why do you have to buy crap for others on your own bday? makes no sense people!!) i don't know if 7k per head is gonna happen....(in fact, chance are VERY slim)

5.Bonzai - Japanese. Ok, i just put this one in for good luck!!! ain't no way i'm paying 10k per head....but i've been craving sushi soooooooooooo bad. If anyone reading this REALLY loves me, take me to Bonzai for lunch on that Sat. The food there is surprisingly lovely but I don't think Naija's take to sushi very much.....

So there we have it! any other ideas peeps?!?!!! I can't cook in my house so let's not suggest that and i'm currently protesting La Casa's stupid, ignorant, racist, sexist, and classist way of running their business. Anyway, i'll be expecting mucho comments, Thanks! See, birthdays are sooooo much FUN!!!!!

Survivor Fever!

2006-09-09T14:56:00.000+03:00

MNET finally premiered (or maybe i just saw the first episodes, who knows? anyhoo...) the first Survivor Africa: Panama yesterday night and Survivor South Africa: Panama and i'm absolutely hooked!!! This is now my new favorite T.V show (of course behind Grey's Anatomy which i'm crazy over...). First they showed the SA one and the first thing that caught my eye right off the bat was that most of the contestants where white. I mean, yeah i know it's a mixed society but why???? the last word in the country name is still AFRICA, why do they keep downplaying the black africans in that country? i don't know....something is all off and weird in SA. Did y'all know they had the highest rate of murder by gunshot in the entire world?????? yes, even ahead of freaking columbia, like i said, i don't know, many people maaaaad over there. anyhoo, so that was the first thing i noticed. then it was like they all had some kind of british accents. there was only one man (black) with a SA accent and he caught fish all day go figure! I also noticed that they gave them each a like a nike knapsack to put everything they needed (compare to the Africa version below). The immunity game was this rope/flag thing that i didn't understand, but it looked hard and quite competitive. Apart from these things, it was very professionally done. It looked and sounded and played out like "regular" Survivor (american of course!).

Ok, cut to Survivor Africa. First thing I noticed, they where all black, so i was very very happy with that. But they gave them like potato sacks to carry their stuff in (WTF?!). There was one lady who could barely speak english so that was interesting (and annoying) and three nigerians out of like 12 people so i know the other africans are probably mad at that. And then even though both Survivors had their contestants walking through the island village (and I mean village) the Africa one focused a lot more on the village, i thought i was watching Survivor Ijebu Igbo! And then u know what the african's challenges was? catch a stick as it shoots out of a hole and go to the village stores and buy what u need with so and so dinaras (panama currency). i mean what the hell is that? catch a stick as it shoots from a hole?!?!?! ok, whatever. Survivor Africa is going to be interesting to watch as it goes on cuz i can already see some issues cropping up. We are so drenched in our "culture" that i think we hinder some civilized progress for ourselves. Like when they had to go shopping for what they needed, the women took over cuz according to one contestant "we are african ladies, so we want to take charge with the shopping"............hmmm, ok! And then when they got to the island and had to build their shelter one guy said, "well, the woman contributed their own little bit that they could, but basically we men did all the work, they [women] didn't do much, we just let them sit and we did bulk of the work".......hmmm, ok! i'm sure that's going to come out somewhere..................like tribal council night, duh!!!! so i don't have much hope for the women on that team. but all in all sha, it was alright. let me take u through some of my favorites.

Yaga is Igbo from Nigeria. He (obviously) has a good body and all that but i don't know seems a little slow for me and young. He's kinda like a gentle giant at least so far. We'll see sha!

Mmm......here's Lloyd. He's from Zambia and he's an actor. Nothing much yet from him, but he's my eye candy so i don't need to hear him say much of anything. He keeps talking about how he and his brother have to take care of 13 people in the house. Whatever man.

Freida is from Namibia. She talks a whole lot but she also reminds me, facially, of my friend Afia (sorry 'Fia!!) I think she has a good chance of winning just cuz something is a little off with her chipper, i'm the leader attitude. I have a feeling she'll also get in a fight with one of the nigerian babes so that'll be something to look forward to.

Starbucks......sweet, sweet, Starbucks!

2006-09-05T19:10:00.000+03:00

Ladies and Gents, I am very very happy (very) to announce that I finally broke free for a whole week! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! After much hassle and finagling, I was able to get one week off of work and y'all know i took that chance and bounced. Spent the entire week plus one day (y'all it wasn't easy to leave maaan) in the U.K. I can't even explain how much I needed that break. I hadn't left the country since February and y'all know from reading my previous posts that I was going crazy with hallucinations and ish. woohoo! the minute i came out of the arrival area at Heathrow and saw a Starbucks to my right, I almost knelt down and kissed the floor, if it wasn't for you know the crowds and the strange looks from white people wondering where this african was from, I would have done just that. and i'm not even a starbucks kinda girl! I was just grinning for an hour after that and driving to my friends place i was just looking around, not wanting to close my eyes in case i missed anything i'd want to dream about when i'm in lightless, waterless home. A biker drove past the car and immediately I yelled out "OKADA" (yea, i know i need to stop blurting out random crap hehe..) partly because i was soooooooo glad that i was in a country where motorbikes are for casual or courier use and are for the most part not bullying the cars of the road or stealing cellphones, or ramming into some pour motorists mirrors. Ahhhh..........i love civilization and orderliness. I never knew how much I actually really really loved orderliness and organization. Hey, bus works, train works, everything is lighted, you want to cross a road, hell, just press that crazy button and cars will stop, the thing will even beep just in case you forgot traffic has stopped for you. I was in the bus and nobody cared if my shoes where Fendi or my dress was Versace, or if my accent was from Uranus. NO one cared (except for that lady who after asking her how long mail took from "the states" said it depends which country it's coming from since every country has its own system and was it being sent by Royal Mail?.....................uhm.........nah, royal mail does not operate in "the states" oops i mean A-M-E-R-I-C-A). And on a whim i decided to cook some pasta and marinara sauce, some fried rice and goat curry and guess what? i just walked ten minutes to my local Tesco's to get it! in Lagos that would take an entire saturday at some nasty, smelly, acrid market - i'm guessing since i haven't been to a food market since I moved here. Ok, Ok, let me stop comparing, i still have at least 5 more months left, better make the best of it.........like hmmm......catfish peppersoup...

On another note, I noticed there are many fabulous Naija babes blogging about their experiences in Lagos, doing fabulous things....i'll write more on this trend tomorrow
Ciao!

I Chopped Off My Hair!!!!

2006-08-21T14:54:00.000+03:00

okey ladies and gentlemen.......the hair is all gone. all of it. gone. bye-bye. can't even braid the hair, can't wear weaves. all. gone.

Anyone who knows me even a lick will know that the thought of not having hair on my head is almost as scary as............armageddon to me. yes. that bad. I see other ladies with very short hair and sometimes it looks good on them, but in that way that i know that i would never ever ever chop mine off. Also i think i've always convinced myself that it's about personality. Since I was little I always wanted long curly hair just cuz it seemed that it was what matched my personality. I mean, all giggling, wide-smiled, beautiful, young, ladies must have long curly hair, no? :o)

I went to Bobby's Sig to cut it off, and although those fellas can cut hair, sometimes, imagination and creativity is quite the problem. if you tell them EXACTLY what to cut, or show a pic, you're good. But if you go in and tell them something vague, like I want a short hair style with layered flips in the back.......you're screwed. Plus, i've just noticed that they're not too big on flips around here. Oh they'll cut layers, but it'll always be in a bob unless you tell them specifically to "tongue" it the other way.

But anyway, Saturday was the D day. I went in and i must confess I was so scared. I mean who was I without my hair??? Everybody knows, rest assured, Lola's hair will look fabulous with a fabulous cut (my dear, weaves are my specialty, TRUST me) but now, I can just imagine the shock people will have when this big chick with no hair walks in. Immediately they'd think I was some loud-mouthed, ghetto, chick in her mid-30s. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G i don't want to be. Then I tried to look on the bright side. Maybe it'd be cute and impish, like Audrey Hepburn, or Jada Pinkett, or Nia Long circa Fresh Prince........................but then again, those two latter ladies look way more fabulous with their long hair. Breathe In, Breathe Out.......you just gotta do what you gotta do. So off it went.

RANTI (the cute boy hairdresser): okay, u can put on your glasses now
ME: uhm, uhm......really?
RANTI: yes, put it on, it fits your face
ME: uhm.........u mean you're done?
RANTI: yes, put the glasses on Lola
ME: uhm....ok (hands trembling)
RANTI: u like it right?
ME: yeah..............sure! (like i would like being tortured in a Chinese dungeon) smile...

The hair style's been growing on me though. Maaaaaaan, as women, we don't realize how much we hide behind our hair.....i never ever ever thought it was that deep for us until i chopped it all off. you now start wondering whether people will treat you the same. That person that was attracted to you yesterday would he still be today? Would people judge me quickly (and wrongly) because of my short, almost non-existent hair? and then I start to think why should someone like me or not like me simply cuz of hair? especially someone who saw me last week and now today cuz of my hair, he's like "oops, big mistake".............it's quite funny but unexpectedly empowering as well. Especially since they've been playing that India.Arie song on TV all day...........

My name is Lola and I am not my hair!