The More You Look, the Less You See

I've been thinking lately, and i know what i'm about to write will disappoint some folks but ah well....it's part of the fabric that is moving back to nigeria. I've noticed lately that the little things that never used to bug me about lagos now annoy me to no end. You start to wonder, can these people EVER get it together???? Can Nigeria EVER get it together? Right among the fabric of our society is rudeness, hate, distrust, arrogance, corruption, inaccountability, selfishness. Now i'm not saying there aren't any good.......it's just that this post is about the bad so......

Last week I went to the dentist in this area i didn't know too well. So after pretty much like dental surgery (had to cut off part of my gums that had overgrown the tooth area....yeah WTF?), anyway, I was drugged up, just wearing out my anasthesia (sp?), so i see a bunch of guys (okada, aboki etc.) and i'm like let me ask for directions to the gate. Here's the convo:

ME: Ehrm, excuse me, please can someone tell me how to get to the get?
COLLECTIVE LOT: (nothing, they completely ignore me, one girl sorta shifts her eye so i figure i should ask her since the rest look like some hot shit is prickling their behind....)
ME: please which way is it to the gate?
GIRL: just go there (points to nowhere in particular) just keep going that way
ME: which way?
GUY FROM COLLECTIVE LOT: YOU, you're such a foolish girl, you no fit open ya mouth talk say good afternoon, dem no teach you well, look am.....psschew

NOW...tell me, what did i do to warrant such an abuse from an aboki wey no even know someone before? just dey rain abuse on top persin head...............I was sooooo angry. Why are people so mad just by looking at you? shooo......it AIN'T MY FAULT u sitting under the scorching sun watching someone's gate...jeez. Attitude determines altitude baby. Idiot man.

Anyway, i can't even think of any concrete other examples, the above just came to mind as to how on any good day the thought "why the hell am in this twilight zone?" can come up.
*****

Moving on.....funny thing happened on the way to work today. See, okada drivers are known to be especially reckless, forget about right of way and all that rubbish, okada riders no send, they'll come from the corner, from the left, from the right, from opposite directions, if they could jump on your car, they would. They break you side mirrors, your rear lights, your doors....pretty much anything and keep on trucking.

Anyway so this morning in front of the "TomTom Zebra Crossing" (wink*, wink*), an official was stopping traffic so a pedestrian could cross the very busy and dangerous road. The car in front (which was in front of the car i was in) sha stopped. A shiny new VW Audi with tinted windows and this mean looking dude inside. That's how the okada dude didn't stop sha and just rammed into the back of the VW with two other okadas following suit, of course the back lights just fell in pieces to the ground with this spiral spring thingie hanging out......KAI!!! GBESE!!! so that's how the driver door just opened and i SWEAR one shaquille looking but fatter and uglier mean mugging man just stepped out...................SHEGE!!! the person on the back of the okada just fastly jumped off and started walking fast the other way.......I LAUGH TIRE. you shoulda seen the face of the okada dude....LOL. Big Giant Man, just looked at him real mean and said "oya, to the side, to the side..." kai, i wanted to watch oh!!! but i was already late for work.....


*****

One thought: NIGERIA vs. GHANA ---------->what do u think?
Second though: NY GIANTS vs. NE PATRIOTS ---------> sixth superbowl appearances, 3 superbowl championships, BRING HOME THE FOURTH BABY!!!!!!!!!!! GO PATS!!!!!!
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ah.....let me leave y'all with this pic of my adorable, adorable, sweetheart. i love this girl sooo much ehn? she's my cousin's baby, and i'm thinking if i can love someone else's kid this much, then mothers must be really trying oh! :o)

Two Favorite Things

So I entered Bastard's car and this loud wonderful music just hit me, hit all my senses. So beautiful, so soulful, so sensual....so African, so Yoruba. I was amazed. So I ask Bastard who this is and he says "Asa.....blah blah blah (he's a bit prone to TMI - too much info)". I've heard about her before and had an opportunity to hear her once, she was supposed to be before Soul-E or something like that but we got there late, so i think we missed her (can't really remember). I'd even heard and seen the video for "Fire On a Mountain" and while i liked the song i wasn't like....blown away. So can this really be the same girl?!?!?! I'm thinking all of this and Bastard bursts into my thoughts..."hear this, this is the best part..." and he sings at the top of his lungs

Mo ti f'oro me f'Oluwa
Ko so, ko so wa
Mo ti f'oro me f'Oluwa
Ko so, ko so wa

Iwo, Iwo nikan soso
Iwo, Iwo nikan soso........

Track #3, Bibanke. Simply fabulous! The words to the song, the arrangements, the producers. Cobhams Asuquo, who is blind by the way, is just a musical genius is Nigeria's version of Quincy Jones, or Ray Charles and he produced all of Asa's tracks. Bibanke's words are so simple, but so poignant, and meaningful. And then listening to the tracks, I took a second listen to "Fire on the Mountain" and the lyrics........are something else. I can't really talk to much on this girl because there's no other way to put it but amazing. As a songwriter, I've always had some trouble with Yoruba in songs and respected those who can sing with the language beautifully (Angelique Kidjo for one) because the intonations are so hard to flow with melodically (if that's a word!) but Asa just constructs it so seemingly effortlessly and beautiful. Listen to Track #8 - Awe. That's a good example.

Anyhoo...i can go on and on and on about this woman but I read someone say this is Nigeria's best chance at getting a Grammy and I'm so there, if she's not Grammy worthy I don't know who is!!!



























Just finished reading “The Mrs. Club” by Ekene Onu. A Nigerian female writer who proudly describes her book as chick lit and chick lit it definitely is; the first of its kind in Nigeria (that I know of anyway). The books is basically about three different Nigerian women who happen to be friends and living in Atlanta, Georgia. The first one Titi, is unmarried but determined to be soon and to a rich, successful, and handsome man to boot! Amaka is a slightly chubby unmarried who is essentially a goody-goody who believes in all the romance of life and love, and Mina is the only married lady out of the three. She married only for financial security and status.

The book follows these three women along their journey into reclaiming a good part of their lives and who they are and I must say the book is SOOOOOO good. It is supposed to be coming out in February 2008 at your nearest Amazon.com (lol) and other bookstores soon so watch out for it.

Thing is I went to the book launch (coordinated by the wonderful bobby) first before I read the book so maybe that biased me but I did find the book powerful. When Ekene was answering some of her questions during the launch she mentioned that she had many motives in writing the book. One of the ones she mentioned that stuck with me was that us women don’t really tell our true stories on our journeys on either side of the mrs. Club so she wanted to give voice to some of those experiences and she was so on point with that. I don’t think any woman that has read the book can say she doesn’t know one or two girls that those same things have happened to! Even I, hmmm….Amaka’s story has happened to me just exactly like that (save one key thing that I won’t mention to spoil it for y’all) but believe me just like that. And who doesn’t know a Titi and Dele story? Especially in this Lagos? Abeg……in fact I had heard a story of one famous Nigerian first lady (ex now) who was the Karen Omoruyi in the story so…

Us women we try o! Kai…truth is, it’s important to know thyself and stay focused!

It's Don Jazzy Again!

my people, you need to help me o! (lamide shut up) My new crush is Dbanj!




























In fact, i don't know if it's so much a crush or what. My old school readers will know that i had a crush on WildChild, then Ebuka, then Snazz of Aijuswanarite. But this one is quite different. Some have called it an obsession, some have even labelled me a groupie! But that's okay, it's okay y'all............i forgive you.

All those gems that he has added to the nigerian lexicon (i should stop all this big grammer if i'm hoping to connect with him one day lol), such as "why you, why me?", "no long ting", "things a ma run down", "if you're still sitting down you're on a LOOOOOOOOOONG ting!", "file! don't tossh it" and my new favorite, "file! leave my ish alone"................LOL. Just brilliant. LOL.

At the Future Awards, the minute Dbanj came in i'm like......."EHEN...no long ting". he now came to sit like right in front of my view so i'm like even berra, nice pic and e'rything, that was before our dear and darling Noble (i say dear cuz everyone loves them some NOBLE!) came to sit right in my view, next to Dapo, blocking my perfect pic view :o( alas...........la struggle continua.....

I'm not sure the very lovely BOBBY knows about this history before offering innocently offering a chance to actually meet Dapo. Alas...i think she has realized it now after like the 5th text message....lol. But i forgive u Bobby! nothing breaks the massachusetts/canada bond....not even the Mo'Hits crew!!!

AH....was gonna gist about the Future Awards, but this just came over me, whew! I'll blog soon about some of my new favorite things!
Ciao ma bebes!

Letting It Go...

I found the following on Bobby's blog and found it very moving.


LET IT GO….TD JAKES
There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you,staying attached to you.
I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you,you can' t make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person,it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over.
Let me tell you something I've got the gift of good-bye.
It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.
It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!
If you are holding on to somethingthat doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life,then you need to ..LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ...LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ...LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge ..LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ...LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs ortalents ...LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude...LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a newlevel in Him...LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to helpthemselves..LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed .LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it,' then you need to...LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2008 !!!LET IT GO!!!
Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then LET IT GO!!!
'The Battle is the Lord's!'

There are many things i want to let go in 2008. I've developed this bad habit of holding on to things, people that i'm absolutely sure are ready to go. I try to think of why and the only thing i can come up with is that since moving to lagos, and not having anything that is "familiar" around me, anybody or thing that I've let close becomes so precious to me. I don't know sha.....So in 2008, I want to start taking care of me again, loving and enjoying me again. The door is WIDE open........

Merry New Year Again!

All my readers, i've missed you so i swear it! It's gotten so bad now that people have now started to abuse me lol. I want to say my bad and all that but MAHN MI, if you know all the drama i've been going through....first I was studying for my GMAT (which i'm taking again), then looking for a j-o-b, then my job that i do have now just went BONKERS, then i almost went postal, then Christmas and the holidays came along with its drunken stupor and all of a sudden everything is alright again....whew! I'm telling you, ish was crazy.....

So...........to make everyone happy i decided i was going to change my layout but i can't decide between this template and another one i'll set up in like a week. Anyone that sees both please tell me which one you like most. I thought myself html back in like 2001 so the formatting the whole thing is getting on my nerves. Sha i like this one cuz sunflowers are my favorite flowers but the other one is cool too, well you get my point now...

SECRET
ok, i'm gonna share a secret with y'all. As i mentioned up there lotsa crazy things have been happening lately and I think in 2008, i'm gonna be asking y'all's opinion on lots of stuff. So part of the rough times were from work where for the first time in my life I had a direct boss who was just absolutely impossible - i say "was" cuz we're so past duking it out that now everyone is just chill in their own little corner. I mean can anyone say (micro-paranoid manager?!?!?) - again it's okay for me to write this here cuz BELIEVE me we've been past alla.....anyway so everyone kept on telling me to "manage my boss" and I swear I tried but the guy I think just had it in for me and I could just see my career going down the drain......it got so bad that one day after one spat like this i was so livid and marched right up to my director and as i was talking........................................i just started to feel this wet stuff on my cheeks. I swear it. I. wanted.to.die! In my entire life i've always thought of myself as the utmost professional woman, an example showing all those businesswoman stereotypes where wrong and here I am, crying, in my directors office.

I think I learnt so much from that incident though, one, now i know why some women may get so frustrated and angry and the tears just flow, and two, i will NEVER EVER EVER do that again.

So what do you guys think about business women crying in the office place?

ANOTHER SECRET
ok, let me share another story with you. this one is not so much a secret but hey, i'd like to hear your opinions still. So as i think i've blogged about before, in the Lagos "scene" everybody kinda knows each other, or at best people roll around in clicks. Anyway i've known this guy, let's call him Prince, i've known Prince for a bit, but on one particular day sha we just clicked and everything an started talking and hanging out quite a bit. I kid you not, that same like weekend a girlfriend of mine texts me that I should leave Prince alone that he has a girlfriend and is getting married in December. So I'm like, ok, tell me more about the situation but i got nothing more. I do a little more investigating and the people that I know that know him where like "uhm, nope, nothing no girlfriend" so i'm like aiiight, let's continue. I ask Prince repeatedly and dude is like "those people don't know me like that, they don't know my ish like that, no girl no marriage, if you're gonna be with me, then it's me and you, not me you and your girlfriends and this is all i'm ever going to say about this issue." So I drop it kinda.

Sha unfortunately in a couple months, Prince had to move abroad. Fine. We still kept in touch by phone and all that so i'm happy enough anyway. Fated December comes around and Prince is indeed in Lagos and of course not a wedding in site. Fine. Prince and I go out with friends and everyone is all liquored up so I ask Prince's best friend about it and dude is telling me, at top of voice mind you, "Dude has a girlfriend, just leave him alone, if y'all just wanna be friends with benefits then sure but nothing else is ever gonna come out of it." I kid you not.

Question is.....what do you guys think? what should i do? what would you do? keep in mind that i really like dude and dude has been kind to me.

Ok..............enough secrets for now. I hope those of you that have been abusing me are ok now, lol! Oh, I made the longlist for the Future Awards 08!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks to anyone that went to the site and voted for me. I'll keep you guys posted. Tomorrow i'll add pics to the Nominee Party.
Ciao!

Happy New Year!!!!

I'm trying to refresh my blog and looking for a new template and getting lost in HTML.....STAY TUNED!

Toodles!

Disappearing Me Softly...

So much to blog about this time, i hope i can remember it all. I can across this post:
Disappearing Me Softly and it touched me so. And to find out that this man was currently a professor at Carleton University in Ottawa (Ottawa U's little brother university hehehe....), I was so proud of what he wrote. In my final year in university I decided to take an Intro to Feminism course. The course was very interesting as we talked about everything from hegemony to gender and minority discrimination, etc. However I noticed that within the discourse of feminism African women were conspicuously absent, and even more so African women were completely "disappeared". Because of my own history and my familiarity of African Feminism in particular, I kept on trying to challenge the class's thoughts on what exactly is Feminism but to no avail and I was outnumbered to say the least! My only way of fighting back was my final thesis paper for the class in which I decided to explore African Feminism in particular. My professor just didn't get it. Even after including works from African Women, she just could not understand. There was a particular phrase that I highlighted which was that african women were never interested in bra burning, afterall traditionally, they've always worked outside of the home, trading etc. African women were fighting another battle, who do the children belong too? My husband's property is my property not his extended family's? Widowhood....Education...........Alas, these struggles where never relevant to Western Feminism so they just chose to ignore it, "disappear" it. Very sad.........

NEXT UP
I'm just reading this stuff on new york times -
"Blacks are Inferior" and I can tell you i'm no more prouder to be African than I am at this moment. I first had a discussion like this believe it or not with an AFRICAN person, more or less a Nigerian man. He really and truly believed that white people, or people of European descent must be more intelligent than Africans in Science, Management and Leadership. His whole thing was that different races have different gifts so African were gifted in music, dance, arts while the chinese are gifted in technology, engineering, maths, while European people are gifted in Strategic thinking and the sciences. He said to me that why is it that it is the Europeans that were curious and wanted to explore the world? Why didn't Africans invade and colonize Europe? Not only that, but we welcomed and HELPED these guys when they landed on our shores. Even though I disagreed with him, I never could come up with an argument that would absolve all his questions, so I just shook my head and told him, "you know you're wrong right?" I wasn't sure how exactly to prove to him that he was suffering from "kolomentality" but I knew he must have been.

I wanted to read the above article with an open mind. Could there really be scientific evidence about all of this? Was it being repressed because of the social consequences? The researcher inside of me is thinking of all the possible biases that can go into any such scientific studies i.e, if you don't allot for all the environmental/developmental influences how can you come to such a conclusion? Also, if a Nigerian person for example, came to the "scientific" conclusion that "Oyinbos" were mugus because of the many evidences of them falling for 419 pranks, or that they can go to the market and pay N1000 for something that an African would pay N50 for, would that research be valid? or is this particular argument relevant at all? I think my final conclusion is that it all depends on who's deciding what intelligence is?

LASTLY
The Future Nigeria Awards season is on again! As many of you may know, I was graciously nominated for an award last year in the "Professional of the Year" category. Though I didn't win (Modupe Adefeso of YDNX won.......but she's outta town *hint*hint*) it was such an honor and I had such a FABULOUS time with FABULOUS people. So...........let's do it again this year! I think i'm promising myself I won't nominate myself (since i'm still thinking that's weird?) but I will enjoin, PLEAD, BEG, ASK NICELY..............all you wonderful readers of my blog to take a minute of your time and NOMINATE! NOMINATE! NOMINATE! me at the future nigeria website: www.thefuturenigeria.com

GOD WILL BUTTER ALL YOUR BREADS. AMEN.

All the Beautiful People

Hello Hello Hello!!!!!!

It's been a long time
Shouldn'ta left you
Without a dope beat to step to...


Yes, i'm a dork, and you know what? it's okay! lol! what's up beautiful people (or person, depending on who's still reading my blog lol) My god, it's been a while since i've blogged. At first there was nothing new to blog about and then all of a sudden i became very busy at work, at home, in relationships, everything just happening at once. Things have let up a little so i'm stealing the time while my boss is in a meeting to run through a post mad quick!

While on break though, i've been pondering on what i call the Beautiful Peeps of Lagos. It seems like there's like an underground clique of guys and dolls that know each other and apparently are the people to know. You see them everywhere and they are behind all the happenings and control everything (that is, everything that young people could be interested in cuz let's not play dangote and otedola control EVERYTHING, hehehe) and they all also know themselves so don't make the mistake of thinking you can just fool anyone. How did I come across all this? I'm a facebook addict. YES, my name is Lola and I'm a facebook-a-holic (Sade if you're reading, you definitely are the chairperson of this group!) I think the Beautiful Peeps clique of Lagos all meet and organize themselves on facebook. Before Blogger used to be the shit amongst this crowd but now it's FACEBOOK! I wonder if there are Beautiful Peeps cliques clustered all around Lagos or this is it? It's such an incestuous place, this Lagos.......

Oh, if anyone has their Sundays free around 3pm or 6pm, why not take the time and visit Terra Kulture for the Theatre at Terra series produced by Wole Oguntokun, or our dear LasPapi. A society that pays attention to the development of the arts is a society cares about its people and its culture. Also, lets support our drama and theatre community in Lagos, it gives an avenue for our youth to express themselves and their creativity. So hope to see you there!

Oh the Randomness....

There's actually someone saved on my phone as Bastard. No we're not fighting or anything but there's nothing that seems more appropriate for me to call him but that, lol. If i'm scrolling down and thinking of calling him, just seeing that, reminds me to back the F off, or if caller id shows him calling, i know not to get carried away by any of it...........lol. I think if he knew he'd actually be quiet upset he's in my phone as bastard, hehehe.

*******

I saw Lola Omotayo in an industry mag, as part of an ad for the agency she works for. I couldn't believe that she's actually dating Peter of P-Square, one would think their world seems quite far apart. I wonder how they met and started to actually date, as opposed to just flirting. That's like me interacting with DBanj as part of work (i wish, lol!) and then just hitting it off. I wonder what her colleagues would have said and if they talked behind her back! I hear she's a hot cookie though, as in, she's quite good at her job, so kudos to her!

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A contestant on the Gulder Ultimate Search show recently died during taping in a drowning accident. Nigerian Breweries which makes Gulder has recently given the family N20 million naira as part of compensation. However what I don't get is that the show is still going ahead with the reality show. I'm not sure this would have happened in America. It's interesting though as i'm wondering what the boy's mother must be thinking through all of this...she lost her only son and now here's this bags load full of money, i'm sure unfathomable money for her. Knowing Nigerians and suspicion, would she spend it? would she wish it all away for the presence of her son? Would she have moments of secretly relishing the money?

********

The record industry in Nigeria is growing indeed however is it sustainable? An artist whom you would have paid N5mil previously, they would have come in for negotiations, you guys would laugh and joke and get to know each other and build a relationship with the company, but now...........record companies come in as artist managements and charge N10mil and play hard to catch on the phone. Business is not always about the bottomline, especially in this business. I know we now have savvy people who spent the better parts of their lives in New York, Paris, London, watching P.Diddy and trying to learn everything from his moves, but not all those things are readily adapted here, the ages of the industries are too different. In the beginning back in those places, building relationships was key. We've lost that.......i hope it works out sha, but for i'm starting to see that rather than spend N10 mil on ONE artist, marketing dollars is better spent elsewhere.

******

WOMAN: officer please i own the car, my son was just driving it.
LAGOS POLICEMAN: ok, madam so what do you want me to do?
WOMAN: officer, please release him
LAGOS POLICEMAN: (irate) so now you're telling me what to do?!?!?

true story.

****************

Ok, toodles! I know this is random ish, but i tried to warn y'all beforehand!!!

Indecent Dressing & An Ode to Abuja

No.......the two topics surprisingly are not related! Let me start with the first one. I'm sure many of you in blog world now know that Lagos is under siege fanatics and fascists. In fact maybe I should do a post later on the parallels of Nigerian culture today and fascism, but that'd be another time. The topic of the day is the supposed "law" that was given to police officers to enforce which is that they are to arrest people for indecent dressing and thugs. Now they say they are trying to get rid of prostitutes and armed robbers, but we all know better. Which kind of law is enforced without parameters and without communication to the citizenry that it affects? What this means is that any police officer is allowed to subjectively decide what dressing is decent and indecent. From my experiences (which i will highlight) and those of others (Funmi Iyanda) it is really my conclusion that these guys harass women based simply on whether they get a hard on or not. The hard-on test.

I can't even begin to state how angry and upset this whole thing makes me because really the depth of it is beyond words. But really, I have to confess that i'm not surprised. We live in a society where everyday women are undervalued and maltreated and we say nothing so how can we be surprised that something like this should happen? A society where a widow gets kicked out of house and home after her husband dies with nothing, or is "inherited" by her in-laws, a society where women are always subservient to the men around them, a society where women are told they are nothing without marriage, without children, a society where there's really no such thing as spousal abuse, a society where women do not have a voice. These are everyday things and we say nothing so now it has come to this. Women are harassed for wearing pants in Lagos. For wearing a tank top in Lagos. for showing their collarbone in Lagos. For just being. I'm waiting to see if we all will still do nothing. Martin Luther King Jr. said something, he said "Injustice against one man is injustice against all mankind" (or something like that). Basically it means whenever we sit, men and women, and say well it's not me so I'm not going to do anything, one day it will come and meet us at our doorsteps.

Last week I was harassed TWICE on the same day by police men on the streets of Lagos. I was wearing a pantsuit with two layers under the jacket. The first incident was right in front of my office. I was waiting for a taxi and two KAI officers (Kick Against Indiscipline) started shouting at me that they were going to arrest me. Me thinking it CANNOT be me they're talking to, turned to look back. The guy now yells YES YOU, I'M GOING TO ARREST YOU, ALL OF YOU PEOPLE. So I just gave him a look and looked away, but still I was fuming. The second incident was myself coming from the island to the mainland at 9:30pm. The police officer at the road block stops the car and tells the driver to park.

HE: where are you coming from
ME: my friend's house
HE: at this time of the night?
ME: yes, is there a problem there?
HE: don't you know it's too late for you to be out?
ME: really? is there a law against that? is there a curfew in Lagos?
HE: get out of the car
ME: i'm not getting out of anything
HE: where do you work?
ME: (name) plc
HE: where's your id card?
ME: (showed it to him thankfully i had it with me)
HE: why are you out at this time walking around like you own yourself
ME: (laughing increduosly) please abeg who owns me?
HE: you should not be out at this time, don't you know you're a woman, if you were a man yes, but a woman, it's not right.
ME: (sensing that this man's problems are too numerous to start on right now) thank you very much enh? can i go now?

He finally let me go but I couldn't believe that I lived in this country right at that minute. I'm more convinced than ever that it is people's minds and perceptions that we need to change and it's a big battle that we can no longer put off. Everyone should be playing their part lest the problem gets bigger. Us young men and women, we should be at the forefront of this battle.

Now to Abuja
One of my earliest posts, I wrote about how I love abuja, and truly I do. I was in abuja over the weekend for the wedding of a friend and I fell in love with the city all over again. Any one that has a job in Abuja open, abeg hook a sister up! That city is beautiful and quiet and peaceful.

Back to Abuja Airport :o(


















Myself and Timi (Winner of West African Idols)

















Interestingly one can say Abuja is more conservative than Lagos is but people are not getting harassed in Abuja. When they were rounding up prostitutes in Abuja they went to the spots they usually are and actually rounded them up from there not harassing innocent women who are going about their own business. Funnily, at Abuja airport a woman comes up to me and says that she really appreciates the way I dressed and she thanks me for not exposing myself. My people, i was wearing a short (above the knee) string halter neck dress but with a small cute bolero type thingy. In Lagos I would have been arrested for indecent dressing i'm sure - just to confirm that the lagos fascists are crackers!

Big Brother How I Love Thee

big brother
big brother
how i love thee
no more waiting for grey's
jacob's cross can have its slot
no more flipping from channel o
to mtv base for 2005 punk'd
big brother
big brother
how i do love thee

Ok, ok, I never caught the Big Brother Nigeria (BBN) thing cuz quite frankly it was wack. West African Idols didn't take my fancy either as it equally was wack, topped up by the beefy, sweaty, no camera presence personality of Mike Magic (or whatever). Don't even get me started on Deal or No Deal Nigeria as watching John Fasanu actually makes my ear bleed and induces suicidal tendencies. But yesterday, yesterday, I broke down and finally watched Big Brother Africa (BBA) more because I had actually applied for the sucker and didn't get picked so was wondering who in the world would make better tv (that babe is too boring jo!). Yes, you can actually read that again, I applied, ehn ehn so what? lol. There's a part of me that gets irresistably drawn to these crazy stunts, I mean how many people in the world can say they were a BB housemate?

Anyway, I'm loving the thing sha. The people (see Bella's post) are just plain ridiculous. There's something fascinating about watching all kinds of personalities interact, especially from different countries too! I think my fav's are Kwaku from Ghana and Max (from wherever!) since they're the sexiest, lol. It was funny to me how from the get, the Tatiana girl from Angola just fashied her so-called boyfriend. Kai! And i'm sure she's trying to make the short man her bitch, mark my words! One thing that shocked me though since i never watched any of the BBs was the shower scene!!!!! as in, seriously oh, they were showing tatas everywhere, i couldn't believe that they do this. I don't think the one in America does that oh! I was shocked, just absolutely shocked ke?!? as in cameras in the shower showing everything oh, no be like say dem get blind screens oh? hmmm...when everyone was shouting shower hour, shower hour, that's how i was thinking that wetin dey there sef? until i saw with my korokoro eyes....

Anyhoo....keep shining sha...in other news...

Do You Think We Have Slaves?
Something's been bothering me lately and I wondered what other's take on it would be. Let me give you a scenario:

1. Someone strolls into the office in the morning carrying his newspaper under his arm, his minion walks behind him, carrying the man's laptop bag.

2. One small boy comes to meet his oga in the office but sits around for hours outside before the oga comes in and then when he calls the small boy from across the compound, he sends him to go wash his cup, or walk to the next building to fetch a paper or something.

Now my thing is, for number 1, why can't you carry your own damn laptop bag from your car to your desk? all of 5min walk?

are these people slaves? seriously...

True Love Scans

Just a quick one (largely for the benefit of my sis!), here's the evidence of my True Love affair. The first one is the "interview" if you will, the second is the apology that's running in this month's issue, the third is the contents page of this month's issue that has a little baby pic of me in it.

No, i'm not vain at all! LOL.

By Fire By Force...LOL

Wow, what a week (or two weeks) I’ve had! Since I’ve returned from my vacation I noticed that many things just weren’t right. Something was off, with work, with my friends, with everything, it was just all off! I was so confused and conflicted. I was even thinking that maybe things were this bad before but I just didn’t see it cuz I was so anxious for a break, to visit my friends and family. But I knew really that that wasn’t it. Some things were different. People were reacting to me differently. So just intuitively I stepped up my prayers. Since I didn’t know what it was and I don’t think I’ve been acting differently, I just started to really pray to God to protect me first of all, to open my eyes to see these things that ordinarily you wouldn’t see, to give me the mind the correct any wrongdoings on my part, and to stand up for me where I can’t stand up for myself. In my heart I just kept praying that God should reveal the source of all these things that I thought strange. People that I cared about and held quite close to me where just behaving strangely towards me u know.

Not to go into too much details cuz you know this IS the internet, but let’s just say God answers prayers. Not everyone is who you think they are, and we all just have to be very vigilant. Some people will laugh in your face but in their hearts they are harboring envy, greed, hate, and whatever else you may have, talking behind your back, fueling idle gossip about you. And others still are harboring so much insecurity and let downs from their past and want you to carry it all on your own head so they won’t have to deal with it personally. Anybody who brings negativity into your life or who diminishes your worth or dismisses your person, abeg, their presence in your life needs to be re-evaluated.

I thank God that I’m in a place in my life now where I am grounded enough in who I am that these things don’t affect me in the way they would have in the past. I just brush it off and keep moving. I’m glad that I’m rooted in great family and friends.

What a week indeed! Like I said on my facebook, I’m really too gangsta for all this ish……if you don’t know u berra ASK SOMEBODY


PS - Several Intereting News Items
I read of a very interesting development in this entire "Oyo politics" saga. For those that don't know i'll give you a much collapsed version, basically, there's an old man in Oyo Chief Adedibu who is the ultimate godfather, and strongman of politics in Oyo. He is as we can guess PDP. Now there've been all kinds of story about intense thuggery, control of the State Senate (he's said to be behind the less than a day trial and impeachment of Governor Ladoja), stealing of ballot boxes, etc. He's son-in-law and I think nephew "won" a political position in the last elections. Anyway, the new Olubadan of Ibadan issued a directive yesterday that forbids anybody in his council to participate in politics. Basically he said you're either a traditional ruler/chief or your a politician, you can't be both or you loose your title. Which means people like Chief Adedibu have to decide what they want to be, answerable to only one mandate, and stop corrupting the system. I applaud this kind of progessive thinking by the Olubadan of Ibadan. Maybe now our historical systems of chiefdom et al can be restored instead of being bought or used as a pun for getting contracts.

The second news item of course is the burning issue of NYSC deployment for 2007. Apparently NYSC authorities have said that there's not enough budget for 2007 for all graduates so they are only mobilizing about 2/3 of all eligible graduates, leaving about 70,000 students hanging until next year. Now in Nigeria as we all know, you can't work until you've done you're NYSC so i'm just wondering for example, what these 70,000 f-ing people are supposed to do for the next f-ing YEAR! For example, LASU said it has over 2000 grads eligible, but NYSC has only allocated 800 spots for them the other 1200 peeps have to go F themselves. Now tell me these NYSC people have a clue.....

Thirdly, this Yar'adua thing is serious oh! He summoned the NYSC dude to Aso Rock sharp sharp, he apparently is committed to building Lagos as it is "the economic nerve centre of Nigeria", he reversed the sale of refineries, he's reviewing the allocation of oil blocks, most of his ministerial appointees are college educated!!! Don't let me down Yardy!

Whew! ok i'm done...

This Food is for White People

Hello my distinguished fellow bloggers, bloggees, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls...I wrote a mail today that goes thus:

"I don't think it is right to tell me that this kind of food is only for the whites in modern day Nigeria"

As I sat writing the letter, I was thinking that never in my life did i think I was going to write such a letter, and worse, to have it all be about food! But alas, here I am. Here's the place my company has put me. For some reason food in the cafe is divided into two levels. First level is beans and plaintain, semo and okoro etc, - mass produced, like jail cell food (u know, think serving gruel in a jail), and then there's the second level which is fried brown rice with szechuan chicken, spaghetti and marinara sauce etc - served with fresh vegetables, etc. First level drinks ice block water (think ice block sold to keep soft drinks warm), second level gets bottled water. Current policy is..................First level is apparently for black people (i.e Nigerians - as long as ur name is Buki, ChiChi or Halima, u're in first level regardless of if your father is Bill Clinton), Second level is apparently for white people. They actually told me this. My thing is if I go to England what will the oyinbo give me to chop? eba and efo? or sandwhich and salad? They certainly won't tell me this food is for black people!

Anyway....I'm having faith though since i've finally complained about it, it will change soon sha....

Secondly, let me take the time to apologize for not updating or anything else. The computer has been absolutely down for the last week. It's working sporadically now so i'm using the opportunity to try and get this in.

Week's been crazy though, going through all kinds of emotional rollercoasters that I think life is just trying to fuck with me just for laughs. I mean seriously shady ish happening that the probability of them happening beforehand was very very low. It could all be chunked up to coincidence but hmmm..........this is nigeria so i'm just extra prayerful now cuz u sha never know..............lol!

Anyway, if I can scan my interview from career file in true love I will do so and post it here asap. Found out that it's Lola Hassan from Virgin Nigeria's pic that included with my piece and mine may come out with her interview next month, if it does then i'll scan my pic along! stay fabulous y'all.

Ciao!

Ok, so.........

So i haven't blogged like i said i was going to. So sue me! Vacation is finally over and i must say i'm tres triste :o( I can hardly believe that the time flew by so fast but alas, work beckons and i must heed its horn blaring signal. So let me just quickly give a synopsis of what's going on:

ThisDay Music Fest
Lots of people are going on this bad boy, i just don't think i'll be going sha. The line up sounds fantastic and all and seems they took care of the N100,000 paying, sitting in white picnic chairs in a crowded area problem that really didn't do it for me last year, but I don't know........What i'm really wanting is anyone who knows the deal on where Ne-Yo and John Legend will be either staying or partying so i can go stalk them.........yeah, there's no shame in my game oh! If i come back with a little yellow John Legend baby won't y'all come to my baby shower?!?! na so.....

Comments
I noticed recently that i've been slacking in responding to comments left on my blog. I apologize for that oh! I really just didn't notice that I had stopped responding so I'll make more of an effort now. Afterall I wanna thank y'all for stopping by no?

Final Showdown at Work
I've been blogging for some time now that there's so much going on at my workplace and there's some sort of restructuring that we were all waiting for? well, that took place the day before my vac. So now i have a new job title and all, still not sure what that means.......i don't think it's bad, in fact i quite like it and it's in line with what i actually consider myself to be but still, it's weird. I am also now in a new unit which I'm not so sure how it will function. All this i have to look forward to as the work week begins for me after my hiatus.....i have to say though that I have a new/ refreshed way of looking at all this stuff now. Don't sweat the small stuff, stay your ground, and show results!

Lagos v. Boston
So as my mom and I were heading to the airport, I start to lament about why oh why can't nigerians (lagosians) just act like civilized humans instead of wild animals? i mean, americans aren't better than nigerians, so how come they follow rules? how come they don't have 5 lanes of cars going in one direction on a road clearly demarcated as a two way, one lane each? it don't make no sense to me. Anyhoo, so my mom then suggests that maybe someone should direct a documentary and show it on CNN called "How Crazy People Live"............ I just burst out laughing at that!!! so any directors out there want to take the mantle?

What Are You Doing?
There's been someone in my life since I was 19. He's been my best friend and confidant for almost all that time. When I was younger he wanted to take our relationship to the next level and me being so young at the time, I was scared, afraid, and unfocused so I gave all kinds of excuses. Still I always thought we would somehow get married. How could we not? Anyhoo, dude tells me recently that he's thinking of proposing to his girlfriend. I don't know how to deal with this or how to handle it.... I know I made a mistake and he's the good guy that got away but I was young at the time....I think i'm gonna get drunk and cry uncontrollably the day he actually tells me he's engaged....

Great Loves
which leads me to this question.....I was having a conversation with someone recently and they mentioned that so and so person was the great love of another person's life and that got me thinking, even though i'm still young, do I really have someone I can consider the great love of my life? Certainly there are people that are quite significant in my life, but THE great love? It's a hard question but i'm not married so that gives me hope that perhaps my great love is still in the future! how about you, who's the great love (romantic love) of your life?

Whew! see what a few extra hours at an airport will do for you?

Seven Things Meme

1. I HATE cockroaches. with a passion. I don't understand and can never understand why God had to create those monstrous weird looking things. I mean think about it, they're like weird giant bugs, and some of them can fly! And it's like there's nothing I can do they just keep coming back. I can fumigate like a million times and everything will be fine but give it a couple of weeks those DAMN things are back. One day, i'll invent a permanent end to their existence, worldwide.

2. I've dated someone much older than me and i've dated someone younger than me. It's not like i'm one of those age ain't nothing but a number people but I'll get to meet someone and then their personality takes over and i'm thinking to myself, ok, so i'll miss out of experiencing this person. I don't know i just don't think that age (don't worry there are some limits!) is a good enough reason not to date someone you otherwise like.

3. Strangely, most of my cousins are male. I just realized that now. And they're all tall and imposing (think 6'1+). Whenever we all get together (which is not often enough) everyone's towering over me and speaking in very loud tones (we can be obnoxious trust me)and i feel quite....little. Even my little (ok, younger) brother who's like 6'2 and medium build is now looking like my older bro. I always find myself having to yell to make my point!

4. I don't think i've ever had a "proper" boyfriend. For one, i've never lived in the same city as anyone i'm dating so that kinda always puts a damper on things. Yes, i'm finally admitting this but i don't think i'm alone either. I think the serial "boyfrienders" are in the minority, u know the ones that you'll always see them with Tope or John, and they are so committed to the teeth. I've always dated but not really that boyfriend boyfriend thing. Interesting no?

5. I don't eat red meat. No lamb or goatmeat or nothing. I actually used to be a vegetarian (pesco vegetarian i think, the ones that eat fish and animal by-products like eggs, milk, cheese). My roommates and best friends were all vegetarians so i just kinda picked up the diet and then u get to see that it's not that difficult really just know your diet and how to substitute essentials proteins etc. This was until i got home from college and my mom MADE ME start eating chicken. So now i eat poultry but I still can't eat red meat, most times it makes me want to puke plus my teeth are just not strong enough for it anymore.

6. I have lived and worked in 3 different countries on two different continents: USA, Canada, Nigeria; Africa and North America. I'm hoping to add an European country to that really soon, perhaps London, Paris, or Ireland. So any of you that lives in any of those countries want to holla and tell me what's up, i'd gladly take u up on that. I heard Ireland just got a black mayor no?

7. I'm a Quentin Tarantino FREAK. I'm a Kill Bill FREAK. As in, it's really serious oh! I was chatting to my friend once and in the background i heard just like two seconds of dialogue and i started to recite along and could paint the scene and what each person was doing. It was weird. LOL. And this is coming from someone who can never remember scenes and characters from any movie, i just never retain any of it. But give me O'Ren Ishii anytime!!! jeez that was a bad ass babe! "any other person got a fucking problem???" hehehe......

wow, this thing was actually hard to write and it took me like three days but i was determined LOL! so there u go.........i know i said i was gonna blog a lot while i've been on vac but it's just been crazy from here to there and tryna make sure i see everyone ha!

PS - to those who may have seen me in this new TRUE LOVE WA magazine, well, at least seen my name in the career file, i've been told it's not my pic! i know..........but i don't think i can deal with it until I get back. Chudeif you're reading this....abeg help me do something about this now abi? :o)

Ciao!

En Route

hello ladies and gents! as some of you know i'm on vacation.....yay!!! Right now i' at schiphol airport in amsterdam paying outta my ass for some internet connection. can't find any network services that's for free but i just heard couple talking about it so if you know, please let me know cuz i'll be passing through here again on my trip back.

So yay!!! I'll be visiting home for the first time in a year and a half and i'm quite anxious i think. It feels like a dream to right now, i don't really know why sha. Like i've thought about it for so long now that i can't believe the day is here already, and the time couldn't be better. I wonder if the strike in nigeria is still on?!?! Cuz THANK GOD my trip was scheduled for this time cuz the thing was driving me nuts. i couldn't believe that a labor organization shut down the country for three days and counting! jeez.....weird ish. I guess i'll give it more time when i blog next as i'm gonna be doing on this trip since i got hi speed wireless at home and plenty of time. YAY again! Anyway, ya it feels weird to be going back. I'm curious to see how "nigerian/lagosian" i've become. I was on the plane with a Belgian (? is this what you call people from Belgium?!?!) anyway, he's been living in Nigeria (Port Harcourt for 3 years) and he was speaking mad pidgeon throughout the trip man. He was saying that he hopes when he gets to Belgium he doesn't starting saying "na wa o" and people would be looking at him weird! LOL. Totally got the guy. As the plane was taking off and my intense fear of flying was kicking in (i mean as bad as it gets, hyperventilating, frantic prayers punctuated with songs, and the occasional "oh jesus"....lol, trust me, it's bad!!!) anyway, i was getting mad scared so he like held my hand and kept on saying, "pele, pele".......if i wasn't busy thinkng of me loosing my life, i woulda just laughed!!! Anyway, good guy sha.

Ha....let me hurry off, seems like i got 15 more mins on this bad boy and i haven't checked out bella naija!

Ciao!

This is My City

I was dragged kicking and screaming to Ottawa. I had chosen University of Ottawa as my school of choice in Canada because it was completely bilingual and i thought, tres cool? tres francaise! This city will definitely count in the top five of beautiful cities for anyone once you've been there. Ottawa is the capital city of Canada and is a bilingual (French and English) city, as in completely bilingual. It is next door to Quebec and Hull, Quebec is still considered part of the National Capital Territory and is like 15min away. It is 4 hours from Toronto, 2 hours from Montreal and 1 hour from the American border. Ottawa is the second coldest capital in the world, behind Moscow!!! Oh, we also hate Toronto and anything to do with it. Let me introduce you:



















Gotta love the mounties!!






At Night!







In Winter!











Architecture

Interior Parliament


Notre Dame Cathedral


Interior Parliament:


Several festivals go on in Ottawa. There's the Blues and Jazz Festival in Summer. That's where I knew that Lauryn Hill was definitely bonkers!!! I was walking back from work one evening and all I could hear was Ms. Hill's screetching and crying as she sang and i was like wtf?!?! Anyway, we also have the Tulip Festival in July which is when tulips are EVERYWHERE in the city. The festival is a gift from the Queen of Holland who stayed in Canada during the second world war so since then she donates hundreds of thousands of tulips to Ottawa.





Then there's Winterlude! Ottawa is mad cold so of course we celebrate everything cold and make snow and ice sculptures and skate around the Rideau Canal which is the longest skating rink in the world, and eat beaver tails!!!













What Do We Eat?

Ok, this is fun! An Ottawaen must like poutine. In fact as a Canadian you must at least KNOW poutine, but if it's not made by a frenchman or there isn't a french person around, RUN!!!





And how serious are we about our poutine?!?!



So what else must you eat if you happen to be in Ottawa? well a shawarma of course. and i'm not talking about those pita sandwiches that some people try and pass on like it's a real shawarma, no! it has to have hummus, and garlic sauce, and tunips, if your sharwarma doesn't look like this:



and the place doesn't have one of these:



you're not eating a real shawarma, sorry! I actually LOVE LOVE sharwarma plates, y'all should try it if you can:



There's also beavertails which is fried dough covered in brown sugar or powdered sugar, this here is plain although it can be topped with apple sauce or whatever you like.





Falun Dafa
for some reason, we love our falun dafa. what is falun dafa?!?! me sef i no know oh! na so i dey see people all over the place it's sha interesting...check it out






I just like this pic below cuz it's so Ottawa, so Canadian!!! to have a stop sign for crossing turtles, how absurd, i can't imagine that would fly in America, lol.




I'll caption the rest of the pics tomorrow if there's no strike! If there's strike then yay!!! no work pour moi. I think i'll blog about the strike on my next post.
Ciao!