NYSC 101

Ok, so a lot of people ask me about NYSC. How I'm finding the process, etc. A lot of people are just scared to do it, and are curious about what exactly they'd be getting into. I remember when I was researching to come back to Nigeria I tried to scour everywhere for some info since I was absolutely clueless about everything, and I couldn't find a lot of it. But I know I would have benefitted from some of the things I'm about to expose about the NYSC so if anybody reading this is thinking of coming to Nigeria to do it, or knows someone who is coming to do it, you can just send them to this blog. Thanks to
Naija Vixen for reminding me to blog about this. So here we go:

1. Should you bother?If you've even thought about it then I would say yes. If to you, the possiblity of working/living in nigeria is even existent then you should just do it and get it over with. NO, you can't just come and work here as an expatriate. If you have a nigerian name, your company labour union/employee union COULD protest against the policy of hiring you without NYSC since it's against the law. It has happened many times over to the point that many companies now, especially multinationals will still require you have one or get one just to save the hassle.

2. What are my options? I'm being real here so let me lay it out. There are several levels of participation. Let's start from the obvious.
A. You can take your chances, submit your forms, wait to get posted, go there for camp, and work at whatever company you've been posted to.
B. You can pick the state you want to be posted, pay someone to make sure you get posted there, go to camp and work at whatever company you've been posted to OR pay someone to make sure you get posted to a company you want to work for.
C. You can pick the state, pay to make sure you get the state, go to camp, pay someone so you won't have to work after camp (many people take this option and go back abroad for the rest of the year).
D. Exactly the above but u don't go to camp, you just pay someone to post you to a place u want to work after camp.
E. Pay someone for everything (state posting, camp) you're posted to the organization you want to work. You don't really interact with NYSC at all, except to get a certificate in the end.
F. Exactly like E(state posting, camp, work) but don't work u just go back abroad immediately. You'll have a record of NYSC and that's all that really matters.
Option E&F, will cost you about N60,000-N70,000 naira. Option D will cost you about N30,000. Option C will cost about N20,000-N88,000. 88K because if you get the person to keep the totality of your monthly allowance (about N8,500), it'll end up costing you that much. Some arrange for the person to just keep a percentage of this.

What docs do I need to have with me for NYSC? I'm assuming you're a "foreign student" (studied abroad) through all this. You need the ORIGINALS, yes ORIGINALS, of your degree certificate, your transcript, your school id, your passport(s) with the page of your visa, if u needed one, your High School Diploma (yes). You need to have a valid Nigerian passport (will cost you anywhere between N10,000 and N15,000). You need to have your letter of admission into university/college. Yes, that's what I said. Make sure you do several copies of all these docs.

What do I do once I get to Nigeria? Take the above docs to NYSC Headquarters in Abuja to register. Plan a few days for your first trip to Abuja. You will have to return at least one more time. Ticket to Abuja costs about N10000-N14,000 one way from Lagos.

Ok, I have my posting letter to state You will now go to camp which will be the bane of your existence for three weeks. The first day is HELL on earth. Prepare for biting, scratching, yelling. You will learn the meaning of queueing naija style, which is NOT queueing at all, but mass shoving. You will hate yourself on this day and curse the day you were born nigerian. YOu might sleep under the moonlight.

What is camp life like? Much of this has regressed in my memory. No words on earth can do it justice. You wake up to horns at 4am when u go jogging till 6/7am. 9am u go for parade till 12noon. 430pm u do parade to 6:30pm. 10pm is lights out. They serve you "food". There's a "mammy market" area where they sell everything u would need for camp. EVERYTHING. they also have hairdressers and barbers there. Don't worry there's alcohol. There's mass for Catholics and services for other Christians. There's the equivalent for Muslims. They have bonfire night towards the end where your platoon (the group you're in) cooks, and does pagents. In the last 1 and a half weeks, there's sports. All these parts is hazy to me as I didn't participate nor cared remotely. Many people "escape" from camp within the required 3 weeks. YOu have to pay officials to do so. All levels of officials can do this for you so just find the right one and the right price. Recharge cards (for phone credit) are a popular form of payment. I will warn you, you have to have the liver OH! Better get comfortable with bribing, and bribing appropriately for this to work OR you will tay there. lol. You can also escape via the forest. No. This is not an overstatement, it's not a dream. It's a forest escape. Apart from the possible poison ivy on the way, you WILL face area boys on the outside and may have to bribe them. ALSO, you can scale the fence. This is the most hassle free way I think, but u must know how to scale a fence discreetly and the right time to do so. Goodluck!

After camp? You go to work. Once a week you have to do Community Development (CD). CD groups range from the truly meaningful - AIDS awareness with UNAID to the truly useless. Once a month, you have to go and do Clearance so as to get your allowance. This is the most important activity post camp. It is used to determine your eligibility for the certificate. That's the only thing you need to worry about really. You can pay someone so you don't have to do the weekly CD. Or you can beg to be put in Drama/Tourism group. Nothing much happens there.

Passing Out Congratulations! you are finished but not before some last grasps at making your life difficult. The only advice here is to make sure you fill the book of life. After you've done that, you're good as done. It's kind of like another registration (like the one you did in Abuja) so make sure you have all your docs as mentioned above again.

And that's it! NYSC in a nutshell, yes, you can thank me later lol. What do I think about NYSC? Well at least it's finished and I actually feel like I accomplished something, on that first day of camp, I was so sure I was never going to make it through, but I did. I have no kind words about NYSC. NONE.

To those who may have an issue with me telling it like it is, well, if you don't like it, I challenge you to do something about it to make it better. Because as ugly as all this may seem (paying off officials et al.) that's the way it is. And to those who may be concerned, I actually did all the activities INCLUDING staying in camp for the entire 3 weeks (minus two days). So don't start with me.

Enjoy!