I Have So Much On My Mind

Jeez....so much is on my mind this morning I just had to come here and jot some down so I can at least get them off my chest.

The Funmi Iyanda Issue
Please will someone tell me what this woman has done to people to garner so much talk and opinion about her? in the negative way i mean? I can't seem to understand it. Truth be told, I missed the furor that was unleashed (apparently) on Bella Naija's blog but I remember seeing the pictures and just glossing over it. I saw that same dress in This Day style this weekend, and I remember just thinking, "wow, that dress is HOT". For me though, it's like highlighting one thing that bugs me to no end of this our society. I see it everyday, I hear it everyday and it's validated for me everytime I read it in print in our magazines and in our newspapers. Please I would like someone, anyone, to correct me if i'm wrong. This is just my summation, and if anyone sees it any other way, please point me in that direction because this is just not right! What am I talking about? The way women are viewed in this society. The way women are tagged and placed in one square box. The values we are teaching our girls, our daughters, the values that are the norm for women. Women are not to be outspoken, they are not to be expressive, they are not to be too intelligent (at least not more than the men around her), they are not to be too creative, they are dress modestly, speak modestly, do modestly, modest, modest modest.............AAAARGH!!!

Everytime I see it reinforced, I cringe a little but I just shut up and move on, but really inside of me I want to yell ITS NOT OK!!! Imagine a comment i read from the Minister of Women Affairs, it went something like this "No matter what I become, i'm still wife at home and serve my husband" My problem is not with her serving her husband, my problem is what her sentence is implying. Or I was at work and a colleague says "that's not right now, it's like saying a woman should stand in front of her husband". And i'm thinking what the hell? Or some recent comments on the Vagina Monologues show that was put on in Lagos and some women writing in with comments like "vaginas should not be discussed" blah blah blah. Maybe we should all still be calling it "chu-chus" or something equally stunted in growth. Some even complained that why would they call a show "vagina monologues" that the word vagina shouldn't be there...I mean are women really this repressed? I'm wondering how these women feel about being sexual beings when they can't even say vagina?

I think it's very imperative that we start encouraging our young girls to know themselves, to be proud of what and who they are, and to be expressive in a way that's true to themselves. We should teach them confidence and dignity. A professor said something to me once that will always guide me throughout my life, she said "true feminism is not burning bras and breaking ceilings, it's not even about being domestic or timid, it's about having the freedom and right to choose whatever balance of both is right for you". This rant is not about feminism in anyway but it's about the fact that jeez....we should teach other and accept from each other, that as women, we can choose to be WHATEVER WE WANNA BE, and it's ok.

whew...all this from Ms. Iyanda!

Money, Money, Money
This is another issue that has been just bugging me. It's been bugging me since even first year in college.

I have this shirt, it's actually my favorite shirt, and it reads, "I Love Rich Boys". Apart from the fact that people should just lighten up, i have to say I get a lot of comments about it. Comments, and side looks, once even at Tastee's Fried Chicken, I got a man who very disapprovingly shook his head at me. lol. But really what's the fuss? why are people so uptight and so untruthful about money? who cares?!?! I'm someone who really I've gone through all of the spectrums, I know people who are wealthy and in the end there was no benefit to them, they died poor, not moneywise, but life wise. But I also know people who are poor and although they are happy with their loved ones, they are dying of heart disease because they don't have a lot. So what's the fuss? We all die in the end and we don't stand in front of Peter with bling!

I know for me, I pray to be blessed. I'll work my butt off to make sure my family, current and future, don't live hand to mouth. I want them all to live comfortably, even luxuriously. I've seen poverty and no one can romanticize that. This is a goal I have for myself, regardless of who my partner may or may not be. If you're going to be in my life, you have to understand that I'm ambitious, that I want to be successful, hell, that I want to pay off my student loans at a go! lol. Amen. People say what about the guy with the bus pass! well, my answer is I can never be with someone whose ambition is, or who's happy with, his bus pass situation. Never. Ambition is sexy to me!

But seriously though, we all need to lighten up! It's okay to want to be rich. What's bad is if you're driven by money and shortsighted about it, if it rules your life and your principles, if you're mad for it, if it's the devil in your life.

Ok, yes, I talked about it, imagine that!


Chude! said...

sadly i cant comment on this extensively without being misinterpreted. but sometimes the issue isnt really one of the way women are perceived. at least i sensed that this one is beyond that. funmi is an excellent role model of course - and maybe that is the issue, if people model their life around you it comes with some really BIG responsibility. but knowing funmi of course, this cant get to her,. dem just dey waste dem time.

Anonymous said...

People need to leave that woman alone. They make fun of her because she wears what she wants, they make fun of her because she's not "happily" married...........they claim she has a "sponsor"- some big man who gives her money in exchange for you know what........its tiring, it really is!

BOBBY said...

You said it well. You said it all well. I dont know Funmi personally, i heard about her from Bellas blog and i think she is great. I dont care what she wears, thats not the issue, the fact of the matter is that the woman has her own talk show and is doing things in society. If any woman wants to down play her, then please by all means, start your own talk show or do something with your life before you start insulting someone else.

We are so quick to down play each other and its very sad. Very quick, we are not supportive towards one another and its sickening...and its not just Nigerians, its the whole world.

There comes a point in time when we are like "FUCK ALL ELSE" and do what we want. Its the best way to live. Do what you do, try to please your God and those you love around you...and let everyone else Jump off third mainland bridge.

The teeshirt is cute jooo, dont mind anyone...freedom of speach!

Nigeria Politricks said...

I think Funmi Iyanda is one of the best thing that has ever happened to Nigeria. She speaks her mind on so many issues and she is a great inspiration to many... including me. And she is hoyt too! You can't have them any better than that!!

Anonymous said...

I agree with u a hundred percent... and i'm male.
Abeg our society needs to start calling a spade a spade... cos all this denial dey drag us back... na my 2 cents be that...oh

true supermodel said...

I love this post a lot.The first half about women is so very important. YOu should have that published.