Down Memory Lane!

I remember Eduardo DePina Veiga. He was like my bestest bestest friend in high school. Like he is soooo totally cute enh? but apart from that so attentive, and nice, and ahhh...... lol. He's the one that even opened my hotmail account for me way back when!! How did I meet him gan?.....ehn ehn it was in Geography class. We had sitting plans and this cute boy was like my desk mate. I didn't even look at him that way cuz I sooo was NOT the cool chicks, I mean I wasn't like really bad but not like cheerleading or nothing like that. i was the girl who did Honor Society, 4-H, Key Club, ran for Class President sorta girl. But anyhoo, back to the story. So I didn't even like him like that (i think I liked the thuggish boy then who i'm sure sold weed and probably carried a gun, but again, i Anyhoo, we sha just became fast friends. He used to walk home everyday which was like a good 30min walk, and it was my way so we just started walking home together. Forget the fact that my Mama bought me a bus pass, lol! We would just walk and talk and joke around and things like that you know. There was one particular day he asked me "What's your greatest fear", like deep ish like that we talked about. Eddie being my friend then meant sooo much to me. In high school, it's much easier to stick with the cool kids, but he (Mr. Fine Guy) didn't care about all that and we really were the best of friends.

Last time I saw Eddie was at the Randolph Cinema in randolph, massachusetts like 7 years ago. I was with my sis and her best friend walking out of a movie when my sis's best friend went, "ooh, who's that cute guy...?" so i turned and of course i was like "EDDIE!!!!" I think we exchanged numbers and talked once on the phone but then i don't know what happened. I'd love to see Eddie. We used to say 5 years after high school we'd find each other from wherever and hang out but that's come and gone. Eddie where art thou?

Misery Loves Company

I'm just going to blab on and on here, there's probably not going to be any structure and it's probably going to be all jumbled up but alas.....

I think misery loves company. I think generally people like to see you down, to see you unhappy, to see you unfulfilled, to see you struggling, etc. I think the only people that think otherwise are your friends and family and that is exactly why they're your friends and family. And not even all of them at that.

Why is it that people are threatened by competence? by confidence? by focus?

Once everyone has a scapegoat is it easier to just join the fray and pick that person as a scapegoat as well? Is it very hard to be objective and to give everyone a fair chance? To want this is to want a fairy tale i think. Most people judge you. And they judge you against themselves, what they can achieve and what they haven't, and then they judge YOU against them. That's how they deal internally with their own issues. Get it?

I feel displaced right now. I feel alone on an island that i've worked all my life to build a bridge to. I like my island. I'm satisfied with my island. So why do I still feel bothered by the fact that I'm alone on this island? Hmmm, something to think about.

Well-behaved women never make history they say. Everyone celebrates them but do they ever celebrate themselves? Do they ever feel accomplished? I think of all the women that I admire and none of them are described as....................nice. In fact many a time, people would describe them as............thorny/bitchy, etc. Think about it. So do I then have to be bitchy to be successful as a woman? Can a "nice" woman ever make history? Ever be a rebel-rouser? Ever be a revolutionist? Even be a barrier breaker? Does the ceiling breaker suffer?

I feel at a crossroads of life.

I've realized that my goals are TOUGH goals. I never thought they would be this TOUGH. I never knew what the real sacrifices would be. To be so driven to want to be the best at this young age. I used to cut out pictures and articles of women who were tops in the business world. I used to idolize and dream of being these sorts of women. But behind those smiles and those power suits, are women who have sacrificed things we all consider important. All those women are ready to ruffle some feathers...........but ruffling feathers is not an easy job. Ruffling feathers is not an easy job.

I wish I could be satisfied with not being the best. I wish I could be satisfied with the prospects of not being successful.

But I can't.

I'm driven. It's a fire and I can't help it.

I'm at a crossroads. I have to decide.


So with lack of time for blogging, here's a meme i stole from Bobby and Mimi...

1. Honestly, are you in love right now?

2. Honestly, what color is your underwear?
Blue & Pink

3. Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
So much work to do, this blogger is a distraction

4. Honestly, what are you doing right now?
Answering this question, trying to finish up a report

5. Honestly, what did you do today?
Cleaned my room and came to work!

6. Honestly, do you think you are attractive?

7. Honestly, have you done something bad today?
Nope! but it's only 1:30pm...

8. Honestly, do you watch Disney channel?

10. Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time?
Friends..........lazy sundays

11. Honestly, do you bite your nails?
Yes, it's a very bad habit and i'm trying to stop

12. Honestly, what is your mood right now?
Just chill......pensive

13. Honestly, who do you want to see at this very moment?

14. Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret?
No, not really

15. Honestly, do you hate someone right now?
Hate is a strong one but this one is bothering on that, i'm praying to God to help me cuz that's the only way I wont just burst out in expletives at him one day

16. Honestly, who/what do you want to hug right now?
No one really.

17. Honestly, do your wrists hurt?
Kinda, my left wrist

18. Honestly, are you in denial?
Very clear right now.........nope, not in denial

19. Honestly, wouldn't you rather be having sex right now?
Not really....

20. Honestly, is it easier to talk on Blogger than in person?
For some peeps yea but mostly no.

21. Honestly, does anyone like you?

22. Honestly, is it going anywhere with them?
Honestly, i don't know yet

24. Honestly, did you answer all these questions honestly?
I think so!

Let Me Clear The Air! it seems a few people in my comments page want to know if i've been koko'd by the kokomaster. Since they asked i'm sure there are a few more unspoken readers that are wondering....


and no, i don't see it in my near future either! i'm just a blogger groupie who had an opportunity to meet the kokomaster and got excited about it. i don't know him like that o!

Thank You!
the management :o)

Coming up..

Hello y'all! These are some of the blog topics running around in my head. I figured i'd write them down before i forget (which is usually what happens!):

Weighty Issues - chronicles of years of body issues, weight management, and losing 100lbs

Hope 2008: A new America - i'm tickled by the possibilities of a black president or a female president. can they really win the fight with republicans?

What's In A Name? - a revolt against changing the culture of calling people by initials in the workplace and calling people by their names!

I may gist and share a few more *secrets* along the way but let's see!


Ok...Ok..Just This Last Time

ok, i'm sorry but i just have to blog about this. So i had a little get-together shindig at my place yesterday. started cooking from like 6am!, my cousins came, my friends came, and it was just good fun! had some curry goat, rice & peas (i was feeling jamaican what can i say!), meat balls, fried stew, stir fried vermicelli, lasagna, cake & custard, smoothies.....yummy!!! once in a while i like to cook a big meal and invite people to witness the fact that i can actually cook! cuz usually my house is spic and span and if u happen to just walk in (like naija peeps like to) the only thing you'll be having is water and maybe juice if you're lucky. if you're very lucky, you might get some peanut butter sandwich or some cereal!!! lol.

Anyhoo....soo my friend, the lovely and also very naughty Noble took me somewhere yesternight (no, nothing like that get your mind outta the gutta!). <<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>) yes, to DBANJ's house!!!!!! Because of this single event, i have learnt a few new things about myself and in general:

1. I am DEFINITELY a dbanj groupie
2. While i'm generally an okay hostess, i WILL abandon guests for a chance to hang out with said dude (i actually shocked myself with this one)
3. My shame levels are disturbingly low.
4. I don't really need to know you before jumping in the sack with you. (no i did not but i'm just saying...)
5. I now believe in love at first sight lol!

I think the more i feed this thing the bigger it grows which leaves me a bit worried but that's okay :o) One thing is though, i want to say i told u so to many peeps. While everyone was paying left right and center to go see his shows and stuff, i was so convinced that the first time i meet him truly, it would be like a one-on-one thingie not a mass giration and i was right!

Ok, i promise i won't mention dude's name on this blog again (this week - detox is 12 steps na...)

thanks for actually finishing this post lol!