The More You Look, the Less You See

I've been thinking lately, and i know what i'm about to write will disappoint some folks but ah's part of the fabric that is moving back to nigeria. I've noticed lately that the little things that never used to bug me about lagos now annoy me to no end. You start to wonder, can these people EVER get it together???? Can Nigeria EVER get it together? Right among the fabric of our society is rudeness, hate, distrust, arrogance, corruption, inaccountability, selfishness. Now i'm not saying there aren't any's just that this post is about the bad so......

Last week I went to the dentist in this area i didn't know too well. So after pretty much like dental surgery (had to cut off part of my gums that had overgrown the tooth area....yeah WTF?), anyway, I was drugged up, just wearing out my anasthesia (sp?), so i see a bunch of guys (okada, aboki etc.) and i'm like let me ask for directions to the gate. Here's the convo:

ME: Ehrm, excuse me, please can someone tell me how to get to the get?
COLLECTIVE LOT: (nothing, they completely ignore me, one girl sorta shifts her eye so i figure i should ask her since the rest look like some hot shit is prickling their behind....)
ME: please which way is it to the gate?
GIRL: just go there (points to nowhere in particular) just keep going that way
ME: which way?
GUY FROM COLLECTIVE LOT: YOU, you're such a foolish girl, you no fit open ya mouth talk say good afternoon, dem no teach you well, look am.....psschew

NOW...tell me, what did i do to warrant such an abuse from an aboki wey no even know someone before? just dey rain abuse on top persin head...............I was sooooo angry. Why are people so mad just by looking at you? AIN'T MY FAULT u sitting under the scorching sun watching someone's gate...jeez. Attitude determines altitude baby. Idiot man.

Anyway, i can't even think of any concrete other examples, the above just came to mind as to how on any good day the thought "why the hell am in this twilight zone?" can come up.

Moving on.....funny thing happened on the way to work today. See, okada drivers are known to be especially reckless, forget about right of way and all that rubbish, okada riders no send, they'll come from the corner, from the left, from the right, from opposite directions, if they could jump on your car, they would. They break you side mirrors, your rear lights, your doors....pretty much anything and keep on trucking.

Anyway so this morning in front of the "TomTom Zebra Crossing" (wink*, wink*), an official was stopping traffic so a pedestrian could cross the very busy and dangerous road. The car in front (which was in front of the car i was in) sha stopped. A shiny new VW Audi with tinted windows and this mean looking dude inside. That's how the okada dude didn't stop sha and just rammed into the back of the VW with two other okadas following suit, of course the back lights just fell in pieces to the ground with this spiral spring thingie hanging out......KAI!!! GBESE!!! so that's how the driver door just opened and i SWEAR one shaquille looking but fatter and uglier mean mugging man just stepped out...................SHEGE!!! the person on the back of the okada just fastly jumped off and started walking fast the other way.......I LAUGH TIRE. you shoulda seen the face of the okada dude....LOL. Big Giant Man, just looked at him real mean and said "oya, to the side, to the side..." kai, i wanted to watch oh!!! but i was already late for work.....


One thought: NIGERIA vs. GHANA ---------->what do u think?
Second though: NY GIANTS vs. NE PATRIOTS ---------> sixth superbowl appearances, 3 superbowl championships, BRING HOME THE FOURTH BABY!!!!!!!!!!! GO PATS!!!!!!

ah.....let me leave y'all with this pic of my adorable, adorable, sweetheart. i love this girl sooo much ehn? she's my cousin's baby, and i'm thinking if i can love someone else's kid this much, then mothers must be really trying oh! :o)

Two Favorite Things

So I entered Bastard's car and this loud wonderful music just hit me, hit all my senses. So beautiful, so soulful, so African, so Yoruba. I was amazed. So I ask Bastard who this is and he says "Asa.....blah blah blah (he's a bit prone to TMI - too much info)". I've heard about her before and had an opportunity to hear her once, she was supposed to be before Soul-E or something like that but we got there late, so i think we missed her (can't really remember). I'd even heard and seen the video for "Fire On a Mountain" and while i liked the song i wasn't like....blown away. So can this really be the same girl?!?!?! I'm thinking all of this and Bastard bursts into my thoughts..."hear this, this is the best part..." and he sings at the top of his lungs

Mo ti f'oro me f'Oluwa
Ko so, ko so wa
Mo ti f'oro me f'Oluwa
Ko so, ko so wa

Iwo, Iwo nikan soso
Iwo, Iwo nikan soso........

Track #3, Bibanke. Simply fabulous! The words to the song, the arrangements, the producers. Cobhams Asuquo, who is blind by the way, is just a musical genius is Nigeria's version of Quincy Jones, or Ray Charles and he produced all of Asa's tracks. Bibanke's words are so simple, but so poignant, and meaningful. And then listening to the tracks, I took a second listen to "Fire on the Mountain" and the lyrics........are something else. I can't really talk to much on this girl because there's no other way to put it but amazing. As a songwriter, I've always had some trouble with Yoruba in songs and respected those who can sing with the language beautifully (Angelique Kidjo for one) because the intonations are so hard to flow with melodically (if that's a word!) but Asa just constructs it so seemingly effortlessly and beautiful. Listen to Track #8 - Awe. That's a good example.

Anyhoo...i can go on and on and on about this woman but I read someone say this is Nigeria's best chance at getting a Grammy and I'm so there, if she's not Grammy worthy I don't know who is!!!

Just finished reading “The Mrs. Club” by Ekene Onu. A Nigerian female writer who proudly describes her book as chick lit and chick lit it definitely is; the first of its kind in Nigeria (that I know of anyway). The books is basically about three different Nigerian women who happen to be friends and living in Atlanta, Georgia. The first one Titi, is unmarried but determined to be soon and to a rich, successful, and handsome man to boot! Amaka is a slightly chubby unmarried who is essentially a goody-goody who believes in all the romance of life and love, and Mina is the only married lady out of the three. She married only for financial security and status.

The book follows these three women along their journey into reclaiming a good part of their lives and who they are and I must say the book is SOOOOOO good. It is supposed to be coming out in February 2008 at your nearest (lol) and other bookstores soon so watch out for it.

Thing is I went to the book launch (coordinated by the wonderful bobby) first before I read the book so maybe that biased me but I did find the book powerful. When Ekene was answering some of her questions during the launch she mentioned that she had many motives in writing the book. One of the ones she mentioned that stuck with me was that us women don’t really tell our true stories on our journeys on either side of the mrs. Club so she wanted to give voice to some of those experiences and she was so on point with that. I don’t think any woman that has read the book can say she doesn’t know one or two girls that those same things have happened to! Even I, hmmm….Amaka’s story has happened to me just exactly like that (save one key thing that I won’t mention to spoil it for y’all) but believe me just like that. And who doesn’t know a Titi and Dele story? Especially in this Lagos? Abeg……in fact I had heard a story of one famous Nigerian first lady (ex now) who was the Karen Omoruyi in the story so…

Us women we try o! Kai…truth is, it’s important to know thyself and stay focused!

It's Don Jazzy Again!

my people, you need to help me o! (lamide shut up) My new crush is Dbanj!

In fact, i don't know if it's so much a crush or what. My old school readers will know that i had a crush on WildChild, then Ebuka, then Snazz of Aijuswanarite. But this one is quite different. Some have called it an obsession, some have even labelled me a groupie! But that's okay, it's okay y'all............i forgive you.

All those gems that he has added to the nigerian lexicon (i should stop all this big grammer if i'm hoping to connect with him one day lol), such as "why you, why me?", "no long ting", "things a ma run down", "if you're still sitting down you're on a LOOOOOOOOOONG ting!", "file! don't tossh it" and my new favorite, "file! leave my ish alone"................LOL. Just brilliant. LOL.

At the Future Awards, the minute Dbanj came in i'm like......." long ting". he now came to sit like right in front of my view so i'm like even berra, nice pic and e'rything, that was before our dear and darling Noble (i say dear cuz everyone loves them some NOBLE!) came to sit right in my view, next to Dapo, blocking my perfect pic view :o( struggle continua.....

I'm not sure the very lovely BOBBY knows about this history before offering innocently offering a chance to actually meet Dapo. Alas...i think she has realized it now after like the 5th text But i forgive u Bobby! nothing breaks the massachusetts/canada bond....not even the Mo'Hits crew!!!

AH....was gonna gist about the Future Awards, but this just came over me, whew! I'll blog soon about some of my new favorite things!
Ciao ma bebes!

Letting It Go...

I found the following on Bobby's blog and found it very moving.

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you,staying attached to you.
I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you,you can' t make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person,it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over.
Let me tell you something I've got the gift of good-bye.
It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.
It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!
If you are holding on to somethingthat doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life,then you need to ..LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ...LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ...LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge ..LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ...LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs ortalents ...LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude...LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a newlevel in Him...LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to helpthemselves..LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed .LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it,' then you need to...LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2008 !!!LET IT GO!!!
Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then LET IT GO!!!
'The Battle is the Lord's!'

There are many things i want to let go in 2008. I've developed this bad habit of holding on to things, people that i'm absolutely sure are ready to go. I try to think of why and the only thing i can come up with is that since moving to lagos, and not having anything that is "familiar" around me, anybody or thing that I've let close becomes so precious to me. I don't know sha.....So in 2008, I want to start taking care of me again, loving and enjoying me again. The door is WIDE open........

Merry New Year Again!

All my readers, i've missed you so i swear it! It's gotten so bad now that people have now started to abuse me lol. I want to say my bad and all that but MAHN MI, if you know all the drama i've been going through....first I was studying for my GMAT (which i'm taking again), then looking for a j-o-b, then my job that i do have now just went BONKERS, then i almost went postal, then Christmas and the holidays came along with its drunken stupor and all of a sudden everything is alright again....whew! I'm telling you, ish was crazy..... make everyone happy i decided i was going to change my layout but i can't decide between this template and another one i'll set up in like a week. Anyone that sees both please tell me which one you like most. I thought myself html back in like 2001 so the formatting the whole thing is getting on my nerves. Sha i like this one cuz sunflowers are my favorite flowers but the other one is cool too, well you get my point now...

ok, i'm gonna share a secret with y'all. As i mentioned up there lotsa crazy things have been happening lately and I think in 2008, i'm gonna be asking y'all's opinion on lots of stuff. So part of the rough times were from work where for the first time in my life I had a direct boss who was just absolutely impossible - i say "was" cuz we're so past duking it out that now everyone is just chill in their own little corner. I mean can anyone say (micro-paranoid manager?!?!?) - again it's okay for me to write this here cuz BELIEVE me we've been past alla.....anyway so everyone kept on telling me to "manage my boss" and I swear I tried but the guy I think just had it in for me and I could just see my career going down the got so bad that one day after one spat like this i was so livid and marched right up to my director and as i was talking........................................i just started to feel this wet stuff on my cheeks. I swear it. I.! In my entire life i've always thought of myself as the utmost professional woman, an example showing all those businesswoman stereotypes where wrong and here I am, crying, in my directors office.

I think I learnt so much from that incident though, one, now i know why some women may get so frustrated and angry and the tears just flow, and two, i will NEVER EVER EVER do that again.

So what do you guys think about business women crying in the office place?

ok, let me share another story with you. this one is not so much a secret but hey, i'd like to hear your opinions still. So as i think i've blogged about before, in the Lagos "scene" everybody kinda knows each other, or at best people roll around in clicks. Anyway i've known this guy, let's call him Prince, i've known Prince for a bit, but on one particular day sha we just clicked and everything an started talking and hanging out quite a bit. I kid you not, that same like weekend a girlfriend of mine texts me that I should leave Prince alone that he has a girlfriend and is getting married in December. So I'm like, ok, tell me more about the situation but i got nothing more. I do a little more investigating and the people that I know that know him where like "uhm, nope, nothing no girlfriend" so i'm like aiiight, let's continue. I ask Prince repeatedly and dude is like "those people don't know me like that, they don't know my ish like that, no girl no marriage, if you're gonna be with me, then it's me and you, not me you and your girlfriends and this is all i'm ever going to say about this issue." So I drop it kinda.

Sha unfortunately in a couple months, Prince had to move abroad. Fine. We still kept in touch by phone and all that so i'm happy enough anyway. Fated December comes around and Prince is indeed in Lagos and of course not a wedding in site. Fine. Prince and I go out with friends and everyone is all liquored up so I ask Prince's best friend about it and dude is telling me, at top of voice mind you, "Dude has a girlfriend, just leave him alone, if y'all just wanna be friends with benefits then sure but nothing else is ever gonna come out of it." I kid you not.

Question is.....what do you guys think? what should i do? what would you do? keep in mind that i really like dude and dude has been kind to me.

Ok..............enough secrets for now. I hope those of you that have been abusing me are ok now, lol! Oh, I made the longlist for the Future Awards 08!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks to anyone that went to the site and voted for me. I'll keep you guys posted. Tomorrow i'll add pics to the Nominee Party.

Happy New Year!!!!

I'm trying to refresh my blog and looking for a new template and getting lost in HTML.....STAY TUNED!